My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years. While we were dating, I slept with my ex. We still hang out on the weekends with my ex and his wife ( my husband and him are really good friends). My ex promised not to say anything. Should I tell my husband or just leave it alone???
2006-08-18 08:02:31 · 21 answers · asked by ♥mommy of 4♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you told me you were married when you did it, I might tell you to tell him. But you were Only dating. No marriage vows had been made. Dont tell him. You dont know how many ex's sleep with there ex before they get married. Happens alot. Just ask God to help you get over it, and forgive yourself and go on. You were not married to your husband...at the time you slept with your ex. Also, if your ex says he will never tell, then trust him. Make sure he wont..But if you do tell, it could ruin your marriage, your husband will not trust you, It will hurt all 4 of you. Your ex and his wife could break up..your husband will lose a friend. Dont tell. Like I said...Why are ya worried about it..you were only dating.
2006-08-18 08:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
Let it go hun. Seriously.......you are now married. You have been married and made a new life with a new man. It's in the past and it's not like your still sleeping with him right? I know that sometimes people make mistakes, but you were prone to falling again in your ex's arms for many reasons. I mean you were his wife before! I have seen this happen to my frineds many times. And then I think, why did you leave him???? But your story is a bit different. I know this doesn't excuse it, but what I'm saying is that your ex- knew you intimately, emotionally, and physically and ect....right before you married your second hubby. . So it's understandable why you did what you did. Some women do this to be sure of certain things (although it's wrong) but hey, no one is perfect. And this does not make you a bad person. However......
if it really bothers your conscious that much and you think he can handle the truth because it will make you feel better, then tell him. But explain to him it was in a moment of weakness. And you love him, you don't want to lose him, and his trust and have felt terrible about it ever since. And just tell him that it has never happened again.
-- On the other hand, you know your new hubby more than I do. So if you think he is going to get into a rage, why even put your marriage at stake? Don't even bother. Let it go and just put it behind you. You are a new woman and a new unity began when you re-married! Take Care. I hope you this helps!
2006-08-18 15:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by MuiBella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tend to say honesty is the best policy. I think if I was holding a secret like that, I'd have trouble forming a strong relationship. I can imagine it would be hard for your ex as well, since he and your husband are good friends.
I'd say it may be a good idea to tell so both you and your husband, and your husband and your ex, can resolve what issues it may bring up, and work towards forming a solid strong relationship.
2006-08-18 15:09:35 · answer #3 · answered by judithsr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. If the ex tells then say he is lying. I don't think the ex's wife would appreciate him talking to your husband about having had you when they were together. It would sound too much like he wanted to break you two up or something like that. Too much for the ex to risk. Forget about it.
2006-08-18 15:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by cindy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE IT ALONE...What do you want to do...get rid of your guilty conscience by dumping it on him? That is nothing short of cruel. No one is the wiser, and leave it that way...forever! You will destroy your relationship with your ex (he will hate you), and your husband ain't gonna take kindly to this either. Don't be stupid....what can you possibly be thinking? Unless, of course, you want a divorce and this is a one way ticket to that path. I have seen some silly questions here, but this one rates right there at just under the top. Good luck
2006-08-18 15:10:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just leave it alone if u tell him it could ruin what u have plus it happened before you were married and also if u tell him it could end up ugly he could confront ur ex and than there will be tension everywere just forget about it and move on focus on your marriage
2006-08-18 20:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you tell him? Just to make yourself feel better? To brag a little? To show him other guys still want you? No good reason to tell him. Keep your mouth shut on this one.
2006-08-18 15:18:41 · answer #7 · answered by Buddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u might be better off not saying anything ,because he may not trust u anymore ,but on the other hand marriage is based on truth and trust so if u really do love your husband u SHOULD TELL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and if he love u as much he will forgive u and move on
2006-08-18 15:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by joker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. It will ruin that relationship. He will think your are still doing it. Why don't you just make it a group effort b/c that sexual tension will always be there.
2006-08-18 15:10:19 · answer #9 · answered by whitewingpro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just leave it be. Honestly, what will be served by telling him. However, if your conscience is bothering you that badly then get it off your chest and tell him. Otherwise, I would simply leave it be
2006-08-18 15:09:07 · answer #10 · answered by capbarrow2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋