i just found out that i am pregnant like 20 min ago & i am really scared...?

Question

im 21, this will be my 3rd pregnancy (none went to term), i aborted both of my past pregnancies, and deep down my heart is telling me to keep this one. i cant put my emotions & body thru another abortion...but i am really worried what the father will say & do...or not do... the last abortion i had he was the father and told me that he did not want that child, and i couldnt have a baby with someone that said they didnt want a baby, or that they didnt want to be a part of the childs life, i could not bring another unwanted baby into this world so i had the adortion. we have been together 2 years, and im almost to the point where i dont care what he says, but i am so scared, i dont knwo what to do...then my mind keeps telling me that once again i cant bring another unwanted baby into this world... i havent told him yet im scared as to what he will say... i feel happy but i dont want to raise a baby all on my own... i have a steady job, but $$ does not raise a child, two loving parents do

please dont judge me based on my previous abortions.... kind words and advice is what i really need!!!!!

i dont want to be one of those single mothers stuck in an entry level job and struggeling to make ends meet for the rest of my life

i could never put a baby up for adoption, my father was put up when he was 4 years old, and i saw 1st hand all the problems that caused him...and plus for me as a woman if i carry that child in my body for 9months then i could never ever cut off a bond like that

the reason i had the 1st abortion was that i was with an abusive man, i could NOT have a child get hit the way he hit me, there were no ifs ands or buts about it, i left him as soon as i found out that i was pregnant...a reality check i suppose...and i am scared as to the toll my past abortions had or will have on my body... it is scary to think about it..

Answer 1

If YOU want this baby, then it isn't unwanted. There are plenty of people that raise their children single-handedly and do just fine. Yes, having two loving parents is the best scenerio but sometimes life just doesn't work that way.

Do what is in your heart.

Answer 2

Well first you are a grown woman and are capable of taking care of a child emotioanlly and physically on your own. This is 2006 and there are many resources available that should make having this baby less stressful. Secondly it is a judgement call. Like a previous answer said, abortion IS NOT birth control. If you knew your man doesn't want kids then why would you continue in behaviors that will result in pregnancy? You are obviously very fertile and should be on some type if not multiple types of contraception. Third, children are a blessing. There are so many people who want children who are not able. Count your blessings. God will never give you more than you can handle in any situation. He is the giver of life and you have to understand that this is bigger than you. you have another being growing inside of you. And you are all this child has and needs....All things work together for the good. So if he doesnt want the child move on. You may not be continually able to get pregnant and have abortions. It will catch up with you.... Namaste.

Answer 3

Well, first, take a deep breath! There are many options open to you. You could keep the pregnancy and put the baby up for adoption. There are so many infertile couples who would love to provide a child with a loving family. Second, you could get rid of your boyfriend, since he does not seem to share the same philosophies as you or maybe you don't see the same things for yourselves in the future (just a guess though?) and keep the baby. No one ever said that good parenting or a happy child had to come from a two parent home. I would think long and hard before having another abortion-you may damage your chances of having children in the future. Last, but not least, please go and get a reliable means of birth control after you deliver this baby until you are ready for another one. Good luck!!!!!

Answer 4

well if you already had 2 abortion you really need to really think about what you are going to do because having to many abortion might make it harder down the road to have kids that is always a risk. I always he says he does want kids but this is not the first time you have gotten pregnant by the same guy I guess you both aren't not being to careful. I f you feel that you really want this baby you should keep it. I t is your body and if he doesn't want to be apart of his baby life it is his lost and you never know things could change when the baby is born. You are both adult and know what happens when you don't used protect so it not just your fault it is his to and a abortion is not a type of birthcontrol just tell him how you feel. Good luck

Answer 5

Look I Just Read Your Story And My Heart Goes Out To You ... I Was 19 When I Gave Birth To My Daughter And Now She Is 12 1/2 If You Really Want Your Baby Then He/She Is Not Unwanted You Listen To Your Heart Not The Father Do What You Feel Is Right For Your Situation And Baby ... I Say You Should Have It And Everything Will Work Its Way Out Trust Me ... Us Moms Know What We Need And Some How We Just Do It Exceptially For Our Kids ... Best Of Luck ... Listen To Your Heart ...

Answer 6

My baby's biological father didnt want him, told me to "get rid of it", and I wasnt even with him when I found out. He then tried to use the baby as a pawn to get me to go back to him. I didnt want a baby, and was scared to tell my boyfriend whom I am still with. We talked, decided to keep the baby. I now have a beautiful 5 day old son, that I wouldnt trade for anything in the world. Every time I look at those little hands, his huge eyes, I know I made the right decision. Even if my boyfriend had left me because I was pregnant, but instead, he is going to adopt the baby, and they love each other very much already. The only way you know the child is not his is from the color of the skin. My baby and I are white, and my boyfriend is black. But in his heart, that is his son. He even has his name. Make your decidion based on what you feel, not what the father says

Answer 7

You poor poor girl. I'm a man, but sometimes I hate men.

What a child needs is a stable, loving upbringing. That can come from two parents, or one. What if your partner were to die in an accident? Would that make you an unfit mother? Of course not.

My advice, for what it is worth, and I will not pretend to be an expert, just a parent myself, and old enough to be your father.

DITCH THE MORON. Your life will be better off without him. He sound manipulative and uncaring. What kind of life do you honestly think you will have with him? Or should I say "IT"?

YOU decide what is best for you and your baby.

A baby is not unwanted if ONE PERSON wants him.

Yes, your life will be harder as a single parent, do you have parents who will help out?

At the end of the day, it will be your choice. I wish you all the best, I wish I could do more.

Answer 8

Wow, an abortion is not birth control. Why aren't you on birth controls pills or some other method of contraception?

If you really want to have this baby, have this baby. If you want the baby, then the baby is not unwanted. And money wise, even if the guy doesn't want the child, it is still his responsibility too. He will have to pay child support. Also, if you want this baby, I'm sure your parents will support you in this decision and if this guy cares about you at all he should too.

Answer 9

Give it up for adoption. There are many people who can't have them and would love your child. It's the only way I can further extend my family because of medical problems so I'm going to be looking into adoption soon from the other end.

I'm not going to tell anyone what to do with their body or their child but it's a hard thing to do one way or another. Why not take a choice that can let you breathe easy and that will bring joy to someone else.

Answer 10

Your heart and mind are telling you along with you body that you are ready for motherhood. If you boyfriend is not ready for the responsibility that he may not be the one you want to be with. There are plenty of men out there mature enough to handle a child. You may not want to brng up a child in a single home but just because this guy isn't doing cartwheels does mean no man ever will. Take the chance and have this baby.

Answer 11

i myself don't believe in abortions but i am not you no matter what you do always remember that this is you child and it will love you no matter what you choose it is hard to think of being a single parent it is hard but well worth it child are gifts from heaven. life as you no it is not over think about your choices and if you think you can't raise a baby on your own and that is a fear always think of adoption some people aren't blessed to be able to have children and i'm sure you would be able to find this baby a great home if not with you someone else Good luck and GOD bless you and your baby!