Married having an affair with a very nice girl, should I end that?

Question

I’ve been married for 6 years now, got a little daughter. The last 3 years my wife and I start to get in to the routine but , I would say my marriage is OK. Suddenly a nice girl appears in my life, I like the way she is, and we spent a really good time together, but I fell guilty about this, cause I’m cheating on my wife and I think she does not deserve this, I fell so confused about this whole time I think about this girl that appears in my life, if I end up my affair, I’ll feel like something especial is going away from my life but if, I break with my wife, I’ll feel like everything that I built will be destroy, what I should do not to fell so bad?

Answer 1

Hi Kaiser, Listen Im divorced and I met someone a while ago who is married and we clicked it off from the beginning. We talk and have a nice time when we're together. But I'm having feelings for him now. Even though I'm confused I feel that I should get out before I get hurt. I feel the same way you do believe me. But if you truly like this girl and have no intention of leaving your wife you should let her go. She will fall in love with you and then your going to be in a tight spot. Remember this nice girl if upset can become violent and you dont want to hurt your wife. We can't control what the heart feels but we can control our private parts. Let her go nicely and start loving your wife. I hope you do this before it's too late....take my advice please. Im there now too.........

Answer 2

Wow, are you so bored of being happy with your marriage that you suddenly feel like destroying it by doing something stupid? Then what was all those 6 yrs for? You're right, your wife DOES NOT deserve this. All marriages fall into some kind of "routine" after a while but it is your job as a couple to ensure that it doesn't stay "boring". It is not a reason for having an affair. To make matters worse, you have a little daughter. What happens to her when your wife finds out you were cheating and leaves you. What happens to your daughter's life then? Don't destroy the life you built with your family for someone you hardly know. If there's something missing in the marriage, work it out with your wife. The solution is inside, not outside the marriage.

Answer 3

A "nice" girl would not be having an affair with a married man!! I don't think you feel so bad. I think you are enjoying what you are doing. You know what the right thing to do is.... you don't need any of us to tell you. I'll tell you this much though, if you are having an affair, that means you are not paying too much attention to home. Things cannot possibly be ok at home. Your wife must feel there is a difference in you. I don't think you are taking your marriage vows too seriously. If you were getting into a routine at home and you started getting bored, you should have spiced it up a little at home. Looking for fun in another woman's arms is not the answer. You are playing with fire and I see you losing everything you've built with your wife. You need to grow up and stop trying to sound like you're just a nice guy with a "little" dilemma.

Answer 4

You cant not feel bad, and you should feel bad. How would you feel if she was having an affair? Talk to her about the routine you guys have fallen into and put your heads together about what to do to spice up the marriage. If you don't feel like there is anything to save, atleast tell your wife the truth and let her move on with her life. You say everything You built will be destroyed, didn't your wife have a part in that? Your'e sounding a little selfish. If you still love your wife, tell her the truth and see if she is willing to forgive you and work it out; it should be her option not your choice!

Answer 5

You obviously love your wife or you would not care. You MUST give up this affair. Start going to church with your family. Get pastoral counseling. He will not tell her, but will encourage you to tell her when the timing is right. Your new relationship is an addiction in sexual nature, more so than it is love. That is why you feel that you will lose something special. If she was special, she would encourage you to not be so sneaky. She would tell you that if things are different one day, she would love to be with you, but she cannot under these circumstances. She is having fun with the excitement of being with a married man (I once was guilty of that and never did it again when I ended the relationship).

Plus, if you break up with your wife, your new girl will never trust you. She will always think that you are doing the same to her, and chances are that you will.

You are getting into a terrible habit that you must break at once. If you don't stop now, you will find your life getting more and more screwed up in the future and soon you will have a bunch of women who hate you and disrespect you, and you will have a lot of regrets.

Also, if you leave your wife, some other man will be raising your little girl. Are you sure you want that? Believe me, it's always hardest on children (mine know). And most men are not very good to other men's children. Actually, they can be quite mean to them (once again, my children know).

Answer 6

You are having your cake and eating it too. How would you like it if the situation was reversed? It sounds like your wife is good to you, so what's the need for an affair? For your own selfish privileges? If your marriage is OK and you have a child, why would you do this in the first place? No matter how attractive a woman may be, when you are commited into a marriage with a kid, an affair is definitely crossing the line. I hate to say this, becaus I know this will hurt your wife, but you need to drop the girlfriend and tell your wife. I'm sure you wouldn't like your wife keeping something like this from you.
Last, I must say...I am not usually rude, but cheaters are disgusting in my book, so if anything leads to a divorce it was your selfish fault. And remember how selfish you were when you have to look in your daughters face and explain to her why Mommy is kicking Daddy out!

Answer 7

Well right about now you need to stop focusing on how you are going to feel that step one. Step two if you really love your wife and what the two of you have built then stop cheating on her it's wrong. I've heard that men cheat because of something that they are lacking at home. So step three would be to sit down and tell your wife how you feel and how you need her to fore fill all your needs. Meaning emotionally, and physically she's your wife when you are not happy about the way something is in your marriage go to your wife not to the next woman to fix your problems. Step four leave the other woman alone or let your wife move on cause you can't have your cake and eat it to. Step 5 make a decision on what it is you plan to do and stick to it and stop being a selfish individual by loving your wife unconditionally and thanking God that you have a woman like her in your corner.

Answer 8

There is a song called "then what". What you gonna do when the new wears off and the old shines through and it ain't really love and it ain't really lust, you ain't anybody anybody's gonna trust. Then what, where you gonna turn when you can't turn back on the bridges you burn and they can't wait to kick you in the butt, then what??? Plus, you have a family....that is special!! If you end the marriage, something more special then this girl is going to be lost....why did you marry her if she wasn't the most special thing in your life?? Don't put your wife and your daughter through this. Do the right thing....end the affair, get into marriage counseling with your wife and confess to her there. That way there is a chance she might forgive you, though I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. Make things right....honor your vows!!!!

Answer 9

See I am totally agaisnt a man or woman that is married and they cheat, where are your values in marriage?? You see this young girl what does she want you for? money? your car? what? Why ruin what you and your wife have build together for this young chick to come and take . Be a man and tell your wife what is going on. No woman or man desrves to be with a cheating spouse, There are disease out there and a pretty face can have it too. Think about if you leave your wife for her, whose to say she can be trusted. If you have something good Dont be stupid to throw away .

Answer 10

Is the "other" aware that you are married and have a child? Perhaps she is happy with the lack of a long term committment requirement such as marriage. Women and men march to different drummers. The rest of the world is not going to be happy no matter what you do so why don't you sit down with the "other" and discuss the whole situation?