why is that alot of gay man say that they didn't know that they were gay and it is hard to come out of closet?

Answer 1

Well, it is true that a lot of people say they did not know they would have those desires. And that it is hard to come out because of the stigma society has put on that type of lifestyle. I think a lot of people repress this because they are ashamed of having those thoughts. It may not be hard for some people to declare themselves, but for others it can have consequences in their lives that will be monumental...ie loss of parents, friends, status and many more. It is unfortunate that we treat people this way, but it is also unfortunate that some cannot overcome the immoral thoughts that they have in order to rise out of that lifestyle. I do not say this to promote hate against these individuals I only believe that we were created in a way to protect ourselves and to maintain our existence and anything to the contrary is not natural in God's eyes. He has made us in a way so that we can flourish and be protected...yet we have found many ways to abuse that and have only found pain.

Answer 2

Because it is a choice. When I'm at home and I find myself in a closet, usually I chose to be there and come out immediately. It is hard to tell if your gay. Oh, gee. Which way do I want to run when I see a penis? Towards or away? I think if you are gay (have no choice), you know it shortly after puberty. If you're not guy, you may end up with a guy because of some trauma, etc. something that made you emotionally have to be gay, but the hormones aren't there. Being stuck in a closet suck. Why should you be scared to come out and have people judge you? If someone does't like you because you're gay, they are shallow and need help and you coming out will end up being good for them in the end, I think.

Answer 3

Because today's society tells them from the time they're born that they are supposed to be interested in women. It takes a while for the idea to form that maybe they aren't really all that interested in women. It's hard for them to come out of the closet because everyone around them has the pre-conceived idea that they are straight and they are afraid that people will think of them differently. Sadly enough some people will. Personally I don't think it makes a difference, you are who you are. Besides it's fun to go check out guys with other guys. Someone nasty starts hitting on you and you can have an "instant boyfriend".

Answer 4

I think because of the negative connotations put on gays by society, and possibly hearing family talk badly about gay people throughout their lives, and fear of losing their family, they just shut that down. Refuse to even think about it long enough to consider it could be possible.

Then, when they have realized, and thought about it and know that they are gay, they've got to get through all the negative stuff they ever heard, and may have even participated in talking about, etc. And they KNOW the real world, and how cold it can be to people who come out of the closet. It's a LOT to risk. It's scary, to possibly lose family, friends, be outcast, etc.

Answer 5

I am a hair stylist and I am around tons of gay men, first off, 90% of the gay men that I know, also have kids. I think alot of them try to cover the fact up that they are gay, because of the fear of being rejected in society.

Answer 6

Because of fear, not knowing how the people around them are going to act. And people r brought w/the mentality that being gay is wrong.

Answer 7

because society still condemns homosexuality, many gay men have to deal with the fact that their family won't accept them anymore, some of their friends may not, they could lose a job, theres no protection for them from being discriminated against

Answer 8

They didn't know because no matter what they say. You aren't born gay. You choose to be gay.

Answer 9

Perhaps because society puts so much pressure on them to try to be straight.

Answer 10

because that is the truth, it is really hard for some people to come out.