What is a good age to start a family?

Question

We just got married, I'm 23 and he's 25. I'm still in school and I've told him that I want to wait until I'm finished. We've been hearing both sides in regards to "have them young and get it over with" and "enjoy being young while you can". I think his mom is ready for me to just start having them one after another but I guess I"m really wondering is it something that I"ll just know when i'm ready? What are other people's experiences?

Just so that everyone knows and we're clear, I know that I'm not ready right now, I was asking what others personal experiences are not if you all thought I was ready.

Answer 1

Well, you sound very mature. Don't ever let anyone try to pressure you into such a huge, life changing decision. Finish school and enjoy some time with your husband. All my siblings had children young, so I heard the same thing. I didn't get married until I was 30 and had my first child at 36. You don't ever "get rid" of your children, so enjoy your 20's. Thirties are a good age to start a family because if you're active, you'll still have the energy for them, yet have more wisdom and life experience under your belt. Once you have a child, there's no turning back. I do wish we would've started trying a few years earlier though because it took us a year to conceive our child. I come from a large family, so it never occurred to me that I could have fertility problems. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

Having children because someone else wants you to sounds like the WRONG idea to me!!!
There are two people I think you should get advice from on this issue (besides your husband, of course); an accountant and your gynecologist.
You need to know if you can afford to have a child yet. Do you plan to send your child to college? What about private school earlier on, hobbies, sports, etc?
Your gynecologist can discuss the health aspects with you. There are certain problems during pregnancies that are more likely as the mother gets older, but don't let that rush you into a pregnancy for which you are not ready. You are too young to worry about those risks now, anyway. Also ask about taking prenatal vitamins.
I think it's reasonable for you to finish school and maybe even work for a while before having kids. It's not like you are already over the age of 30.
Keep in mind that some people choose to never have children and are happy with that choice. Other people adopt children who need good homes. You have many good options.

Answer 3

You are old enough!
The question is not "what's a good age?" but instead you should look at the entire undertaking.
Raising children is a 25/8 gig. There are no Holidays, and no vacations. You are responsible for EVERYTHING until your child or children are old enough.
That's a catch phrase "Old Enough".
There are billions of ways a family can be raised, and although most of them have A LOT in common, each and every one is absolutely unique.
You and your husband talk it over, and if you're prepared to commit the REST OF YOUR LIFE to being parents, then do it.
Personally, If I were you I'd definitely finish school first.
If you get flack from the in-laws, just show them the numbers. Kids add $10 to $12 thousand to a budget per year. EACH! That's PER CHILD!!
That's just a fact of life. That usually quells the conversation.
But raising children is not all about the $$$. It's more about the commitment you and you husband are willing to make.
If you are believer's then after discussing it from all of the angles that you can think of, pray about it.
If you're not believer's then try to look at it as far into the future as you can. Think about all of the possibilities and develop contingency plans. Do the numbers, and see what the bottom line says.
My wife and I have seven children. It has been and continues to be the GREATEST ADVENTURE OF OUR LIVES!!

Answer 4

I started at 18 because of a surprise pregnancy. We married and had 2 more children (one more planned). Second when I was 19, third at 22 (he's a year older than me). It worked for us, and we have a strong marriage. We had friends that married after she graduated and they lasted less than a year and never had kids. Another had a surprise pregnancy, married the guy, has a 4 and 1 year old and is getting a divorce. My sister married at 21, had a baby within 2 years of the wedding, and is waiting for her girl to be 4 or so before having another. And lastly is another school friend, the cautious ones. They dated for years. They married in 2002. They both wanted to get college over before starting a family, then a house. Well, he wasn't ready and she was, but they kept waiting. Then surprise! They just had a beautiful baby boy. So out of my group of 4, 3 of us had unexpected, but much loved first children. Moral of the story is that sometimes it just happens. Try to finish school, so its done with. It will be hard to juggle classes and a baby crying at 2AM. So if school is important to you, finish it before starting to have babies. The last thing you want is to resent your child for interrupting your plans. Tell the family that its ya'lls choice and baby will come when its time. Period. End of discussion.

Answer 5

oh god of course his mom wants u to start popping out kids, they want babies!! they love babies!! that's why they had him.

It's always a nice idea isn't it? oh i want to be a young mom and pretend my baby is a doll so I can make them all cute blah blah blah yuck!

No, you should wait til your done with school. How's that gonna go being pregnant and trying to finish? Not only that but you just got married you should have time for your husband and not for changing diapers so quickly. 60% of marriages end in divorce and the stress of school, a new marriage and baby? Yeah if you jump into the whole keeping up with the jones so quickly you'll be a statistic. Sorry but it's true.

I've been with my boyfriend for 6years and we are not married and have no kids. We don't look to others as a guidline of how we should be or what we should do. We do what's right for us,

We met when I was 20(we're the same age) and both of us believe that your twenties are for school, and fun! Neither of us wanted to be married in our twenties and prefer to wait until we're 30 before we make any life threatening decisions. We really like not being tied down with children and see all our friends struggle with trying to raise their babies and still have a life, because face it once you have kids, you have no life.

Answer 6

I'm 28 and have been married 1 year, been with my husband for a total of 3 years. I haven't yet gotten the urge to have children. I think you should have them whenever you both feel ready - whatever is right for you. I might never get there, but you guys are young enough that you have plenty of time to decide.

Answer 7

I was 23 and hubby was 24. We were both finished with school, though. Finish up first. It's too hard on the family when one parent is so busy with school. My hubby went back to take a different course of study a couple of years ago. We have 3 kids now and it's HARD. And I don't work outside the home.

Answer 8

Well, I had my first child at 28 and my second child at 39. I have to say, the experience at 39 was a lot better. Not that I am telling you to wait quite that long, but by then, we were settled into careers, financially stable, settled in our town and just more relaxed and mature. We are definitely enjoying this experience much more than we did the first time around. Our first child is great, but we were so tense that we just couldn't enjoy parenting as much as we love it now. Good luck with your decision!

Answer 9

my sister have had same condition, she was at ur age,still in school (also her husband n both of them are working).
she was worried too, whether she wanted to start a family or not..
before stop worring then it happend..
but guess what she said, she couldnt believe the feeling that there's a life in her and she felt really really happy
and when she 8 months pregnant she was facing final exam
and a month after that she said it was the happiest moment in her life (when she gaved birth)
and she really loves her daughter..
now her daughter almost 3.
and the both family from her husband and mine are really happy having a new member of the family..

beside there's no such thing what the good age to start a family..
the matter in this situation is how mature will u be handling it..
being "old" in age doesn't mean sum1 is wiser than sum1 who is younger than him/her..

i hope this will help u to make up your mind :)
and..
Congratulations 4 ur marriage...

Answer 10

Well, it depends on the person really. But I had children while I was way too young, then I had one when I was 31. I was a much better mother when I was older...or I am I guess you'd say. I say between 28-32 would have been best for me.