My mom doesn't get anything of what's going on with me. Any strategies?

Question

my mom says I've turned into a monster just because I became meaner than i used to be, but I never do anything bad, like drugs, smoking, drinking, and i get straight a's. I hate my school (she and dad wanted me to go there) and I have a way of thinking different than my friends', and different passions. because people got me wrong and were mean to me, of course i changed. but the thing is that i tried to talk to her and get her to be with me when i was upset or depressed. but she holds everything against me! even the fact that i am fat. i changed before her eyes. she didn't do anything to help me. she is always busy, and says that all i want is money. I am still in highschool and i want to experiment things, like drama clas and sports, but she says that i don't have time for anything and that i have to read and study whenever i have free time (from school, reading and studying, that is). and if i try to do something my way, she holds it against me,although she is often wrong too. HELP!

Answer 1

One of the hardest things to accept is that ones child is smarter than the parent, so of course your parents are going to balk. Having smart children is what we want, or at least thats what we tell ourselves but the truth is we really don't. I know this is hard to understand but we want to be reassured by our children, which is you. So what can you do to reassure her? Start askng her questions about things your not sure about and even about things you are sure of,get her involved in your life because she wants to feel as if there was something other than create you to make your life better. You mentioned that your heavier than she is? You do know that weight is put on by sitting around don't you? Of course you do, and tell her that you need the exercise too and ask if you can help her do some of her busy stuff. Its connected, believe it. What you need to do is gain her trust, not find out her faults, so be a diplomat, thats really what proves intelligence anyway.

Answer 2

Well, school first. Don't suppose you've pointed out to her that lots of people with high GPA's DON'T get scholarships. Why? Because LOTS of people have good grades. EXTRACURRICULAR activities are a must; every school requires them. You're gonna have to take art or music in college; save money and get it out of the way now. Now, it's free ('cept the fees, and they ain't that much).

As for psych stuff, I doubt anyone on here's really gonna be able to help you. I changed when my family moved back to the states. I was a normal, dress-wearing, polite little girl, and now I'm an antisocial freak. My mother does not understand me, she has SAID she does not understand me. But we're both okay with that. This is more a HER thing than a YOU thing. SHE has some problem.

First things first, good that you don't drug and do well in school. Watch your mouth, though. That's my problem, still, though I'm far out of high school. What you perceive as a simple statement, others may perceive as insulting, condescending, or "attitude." If you can't have a civil conversation, don't have any conversation. Act like you're talking to a teacher, or your grandmother. My grandmother is very stuffy, you feel like you have to sit absolutely still, or something bad will happen. Act formal, polite, like you would to someone you know, don't like, but can't insult. It'll be good practice for getting a job; you have to do it all the time, then.

As for the school itself, you're outta luck. Your parents have say in the matter. All I can say is stick to it, and hang on. It doesn't last that long. My last high school sucked; I was actually TEACHING a 9th grade English class in my junior year. But look around. Look at the kids who aren't popular. Usually those are the ones you want as friends. They're the ones with a different way of thinking, after all, which is why they're not popular. As they say, "be nice to the geeks in school; one day they will be your boss." And, screw no activities; do you go to church? Plenty of things there to do, I'd guess, though I don't go. Or, look for a group of people who do things you're interested in, locally, that you can get into. She surely can't object you joining a study or book club, now can she? Or, try online. There are plenty of things, groups, you can join, if you look for them. And if she has a problem with you being "fat," point out, respectfully, RESPECTFULLY, that if you were allowed sports, you would lose weight.

Oh, and never, ever try to point out to one of your parents that they are wrong and you are right! Personal experience here! Just...cherish the knowledge in your heart. And keep it from falling out of your mouth.

Answer 3

Sweetheart, you must be so exhausted by now. First of all, there is someone who cares, ok? You have tried and failed to talk with your mom. Myabe there is an aunt or older friend who can help you intervene here. You need to sit down with this friend and your mom and and a well-thought out CALM discussion with her about your true feelings here, all right? Tell her the truth, that you feel as though she has not been listening. The weight, that will come later when you feel better about yourself, ok? right now, you deseprately need to take care of this or you wouldn't have written into yahoo! There are counselors, as well that you 2 could see, and i would highly recommend it. Please, do something before it carries on too long. Your self-esteem, self-worth is at risk here. You are loved, ok? Take care.

Answer 4

try talking to her when you are not upset or depressed talk calmly if she still wont listen write it down send her a letter or an E-mail that way you have it in writing that you tried and she did not respond