My son is 15. He's alone every day from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m. Daddy has NO RULES. I have rules. We have family outings, spend time together & talk over dinner.
When I had full costody, my son went to his dad's NOT only on scheduled weekends but I allowed extra time long weekends, more than 3 weeks in summer, x-tra days on holidays...
My son has been with "dad" since May.I have had him in my home 5 DAYS since May. He called last night saying "I'm not coming & will call the cops on you!" He has been brainwashed and bribed into hating me and his little sister. "dad"has criminal charges pending for "interfering w/parenting plan" Told my son NOT to come on my first visit, 5 DAYS after the court order was filed! Since then my son has refused to answer the phone, I've had to send the police out 4 times to check on him after NO contact for 6 or more days! I'm going tonight w/court order. Any clue what I'm in for?
2006-08-18 06:36:52 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
a heartache
2006-08-18 06:41:34 · answer #1 · answered by sweetiepi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful. How you react could feed the lies that the father has been telling him. Be the best parent you can be, especially right now. Yeah he'll hate you and then when the hormones have settled down and the teen becomes human again he'll remember who was the *** and who was calm polite and firm. All kids go through a period when they wish they had been raised by wolves. Don't hold this natural pulling away against him. Love him in spite of himself. Plan low budget but fun stuff for your time together.(no fair buying his love) Listen to what he says and ask for details on his life (not the ex's) Tell him how you wish you could spend more time with him. E mail, snail mail, send pizza to school at lunch time. Anything to let him know that he matters most.
2006-08-18 07:27:15 · answer #2 · answered by Laura B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be prepared for a sullen child and an ex who will make you out to be the 'bad guy' even in front of you or anyone else near. Once you get home, keep in mind that the children are impressionable and his father has probably told him things that are untrue to keep him there. Be prepared for him to act rudely to you and the little sister you mentioned. Keep in mind that he will come around eventually, but it will take time. If he spends time in his room, doesn't talk, acts mad-give him space. Give him time to deal with everything. The situation you described cannot be easy on him. Essentially his parents are fighting over him. Remind him that you love him and you're doing what's best for him. By no means should you speak ill of his father. That's his father and it will only make him more defensive.
Good luck. I hope everything turns out well.
P.S.-Please please please...if your ex has a history of being abusive-request to have a police escort. By no means should you go alone. If you have a close friend, ask him/her to come along. It is much better to be over-prepared than regret the decision later.
2006-08-18 06:53:28 · answer #3 · answered by Reagan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a great big fight which will end in your son hating you. As hard as it will be, you should just let him be for a while, until things calm down. He is old enough to choose who he wants to live with, and at this age, the court order does not matter to him... give him some space or you could ruin any chance of having a relationship with him in the future.. he will see what kind of dad he has, and could come around in the long run... Good Luck, and keep your chin up
2006-08-18 06:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask a police officer to go with you. Their own agency policies will determine what they may or may not be able to do. A lot of agencies will not remove the child without a court order telling them to do so. Unfortunately, your court order does not qualify as this, as he is there for visitation and that is permitted.
Even if the officer can not force your child to return home with you, there is an unbiased witness to the situation and your physical safety would be ensured.
Contact an attorney and the court that issued your order in regards to him not following the court order.
2006-08-18 07:11:09 · answer #5 · answered by dannyl410 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, he has made his mind up he wants to be away from you and live with his father. If you attempt to force him (any 15 year old for that matter) to do anything, you may succeed for a little while, but you have lost in the whole picture of things.
What I mean by that, is since he is a minor he has to go with you if you have police, but he will grow to hate, despise, and make your life a living hell.
He is over 14, so legally, he can become emancipated and then you have no control or say-so whatsoever.
Sending the police out over and over again is feeding fuel to this nasty situation. You are alienating him completely.
Let up, loosen up, and leave it alone. You'll only cause more heartache, heartbreak, and when he is 18, you will never see him again. Choose carefully.
2006-08-18 06:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-09-29 10:09:34 · answer #7 · answered by wardwell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you don't want to admit your husband has as much right to custody as you do. Everything else is the subjective interpretation of the facts to benefit yourself. No son would reject his mother without a lot more negative interaction than you wish to admit too. Your ex was abusive how? Oh, he hollered at you? Shame. Guess the end of child support is hard to take.
2006-08-18 06:58:35 · answer #8 · answered by frankie59 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You mentioned "abusive" so I hope you're taking the police with you! Unfortunatley you're not only going to be fighting with your ex, but you'll be fighting with a 15 year old boy...which could turn ugly. Good luck and I hope everything works out!
2006-08-18 06:45:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your in for a fight. your son is going to hate you. why don't you just let him stay at his dads house ? if your ex files for custody the child will be asked who he wants to live with. he's old enough to decide. they will make sure that his dad has the means to support and care for him. if he can prove that, you have a big fight on your hands. the boy does not want to be in your house for a reason. are you remarried ? if so does he get along with your spouse ? tough situation. hope it all works out for the boys sake.
2006-08-18 06:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you're in for a tough time with a rebellious teenager and delinquent father.
2006-08-18 06:43:16 · answer #11 · answered by holly c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋