it was my husbands decision plus they have no where else to go...they were thrown out by my sis-in-law as she doesnt want them..they have no money no home ..its not temp...its permanent...YES for the rest of my life...and better yet they dont even like me....
2006-08-18 05:52:36 · 23 answers · asked by aaks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
id move out
2006-08-18 05:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by trudi w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to think of what is best for your immediate family namely you and your husband along with your children if you have any. This is a situation that is already doomed from the beginning. Yes, life can be unfair, however it is not up to you and your husband to rescue your in-laws. Make it clear that they are temporary guests and that they will respect your home and respect you while they are there or they will be forced to leave. If your husband loves and respects you he will be on your side on this issue.
Be very careful though. This is an issue that can cause severe marital stress and can lead to the failure of the marriage. For the sake of your marriage, make this situation as temporary as possible. No longer than two weeks and make sure that they are not becoming too comfortable by lounging around. They need to be actively pursuing their own accommodations and looking for work to support themselves.
2006-08-18 13:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by Randy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out!! No seriously, it's your home, sit down with them immediately and tell them what you will and won't tolerate. If they don't like it, they'll leave. Give them the ultimatum that they must find work and contribute to the house hold, all while searching and saving for a place of their own. If they cause utter chaos, throw them out and get a restraining order. Do not lay down and take any stuff from them, reguardless if they're your husband's parents or not. They were supposed to raise and support him, not the other way around! Good luck!
2006-08-18 13:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get this sorted before they actually arrive.
Get some ground rules laid down & make sure everyone sticks to them otherwise they may just take over & you will be a visitor in your own home.
Make it clear from the get go that it is your home & that you are in charge. Your home, your rules.
Better yet, try to find them somewhaere close by but out of your actual house.
I foresee lots of problems. Make sure your husband realises how you feel about it & make sure that he always puts you before them.
2006-08-18 12:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Make sure they know it's YOUR house, not theirs.
2. Set some ground rules from day one. Tell them what you want and DON'T want from them!
3. If you have a problem with them, go to them with it, don't put your husband in the middle!
4. Make sure you have a place just for you and your husband. A safe room for you to get away when needed.
5. Make sure you and your husband go out ALONE together.
Best Wishes, it's not going to be easy.
2006-08-18 13:10:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG I feel your pain. I can't stand my in-laws! I wouldn't know what to do. But to be honest, (for me), as much as I love my husband, it would probably break us up until they moved out. I am not good at hiding my feelings, especially when I don't like someone, and I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of being nice to them 24/7. That is my own fault I know. The best advice I could give you is to talk to your husband. Tell him that when you get married, both husband and wife are suppose to leave their families and stick to each other. Your spouse is second only to God and no one else! Reassure him of your loyalty and love, and that you would never ask this of him because you know it wouldn't be fair to him. But do that part VERY tactfully! If he insists that his paretns move in, make sure it is only temporary. Do what ever you can to set boundries! Let them know straight off that your business, IS YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!! They are to not to interfere with disscussions, arguments, etc. But get it through to your husband that you don't want this to be premannent! It could really be harmful to your marriage! He is suppose to be thinking about you and your needs to the fullest! As for his family, or yours, it is not more important than your marriage, or your spouses' needs. Set a time limit for how long they are to stay with you. Give them options on where to go next for a permanent home. And if you can't get through to your husband, sit his parents down and have a talk with them alone. Tell them how you feel about the whole "permanent" situation, and if they love their son they won't stick around and complicate his marriage and compromise his loyalty and duty to his wife. And make them think about how they would feel if they were in your shoes. I don't think they would want to be in your situation. And if none of these things work for you, that final desision is totally up to you. No one can make that choice for you, or tell you what to do. My thought are with you. Hope it goes well.
2006-08-18 13:00:09 · answer #6 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would welcome them with open arms and then have a family meeting where you all discuss ways to make this work. I would never want this to be a permanent situation, so you all need to figure out a way that it is not.
You say they have no money, Why is that? Can they work? if not are they eligible for social security or SSI. Find some way for them to have money enough to rent a small apartment.
2006-08-18 13:10:08 · answer #7 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life as you know it is over! Personally I just wouldn't have it . Where do you live? If it's in the uk they can get put into bed and breakfast until they can have a council house or housing association accomodation. There must be some options that would be better for all concerned?
2006-08-18 12:59:52 · answer #8 · answered by diana - b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really hard question. Can your house be separated can they have their own living quarters cut off from you and the rest of your house so that you don't have to see them unless you want to? If not I suggest you find a way to do that. Or else you would have to try to get along with them until they pass away or your sister-in-law relents and takes them back. Please remember nobody likes to be not wanted you would not wish it on yourself so treat them civilly
2006-08-18 13:03:28 · answer #9 · answered by Joyann R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband probably feels he has no choice. You need to talk to your husband about the situation and tell him that they will have to help around the house and with laundry and cooking. That they are responsible for themselves. That you are not going to be the maid around there. Lay down the law. I hope it works out for you.
2006-08-18 13:04:28 · answer #10 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find the closest window and jump. That is a very hard thing to deal with. You and you husband need to work something out because it can ruin your relationship!
2006-08-18 12:59:20 · answer #11 · answered by slip-slappy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋