My husband and i are having problems. He lies all the time. He lives in Mississippi and i am in california. He will lie about where hes been, where hes going, what he ate, he just lies. I cant figure out if hes hiding something or what. Our relationship was built on a lie, but he has looked me in my face not once but twice and swore to me he wouldnt lie again, yet he keeps doing it and i dont understand for what???
please help!
2006-08-18 05:07:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
white lies can defragment a relationship brick by brick. Since you already live so far away from each other, why not end the marriage? Hes not bringing his best to the table, why waste anymore time?
2006-08-18 05:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, this does not sound good. If I were in your shoes I would be very concerned as well. Why would anyone lie? Usually to hide something. A person who has nothing to hide, hides nothing. If your husband has a habit of lying, chances are you will not be able to get the truth out of him. This may sound extreme to you, but I think it would be worth it to hire a private investigator. Find out why your husband is lying. Is it another woman, is it some kind of addiction, possibly drugs, or any number of things. If you find out that his where abouts check out, his other friends and coworker relationships are on the up and up, then you can put your mind truly at rest and look at other reasons he may be compelled to lie. There may be some psychological reasons he is compelled to lie so much. What ever the case, lies are destructive to a relationship. Especially a marriage, which requires the utmost trust and care.
2006-08-18 05:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by whostolemyprofile 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doesn't trust you or anyone with his true self, you need to either build up his self confidence enough to even give you one truth, which no matter what you shouldn't flip out on especially if it is something you don't want to hear. Let him know that no matter what, he can trust you.
If that doesn't work, and he is not going to tell the truth, then for all you know he has another family where he is and lying about that..........I'd go down to where he lives, check it out, and find out what exactly he is lying about, then only you can decide what you will put up with.
Personally, I couldn't have a relationship if I was being lied to, my biggest thing is trust, no matter what. Good or bad, I'd rather have the truth and go from there.
2006-08-18 05:29:19 · answer #3 · answered by thatslife59 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good answers, I agree with all of them.
What a mess!
So what is left and why wait around for another lie?
You said it yourself your whole relationship was based on lies, why would you want to live a fake life? What will it accomplish and who bennifits from it, I hope there are not children involved they'll be pretty messed up themsleves then won't they? or would that be a lie?
Don't think he'll change b/c he has been doing it his whole live and that's just what he knows it doesn't make it o.k. though and right it just makes your life harder then it needs to be.
Good luck!
2006-08-18 05:25:39 · answer #4 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
white lies are only told like once a week maybe twice to avoid problems..white lies arent told allllll the time..like ur husband does.
my advice is that u guys make things straight..i dunno talk to him or visit some couple therapist..coz im not sure if u wanna live all ur life in a lie..thats very depressing..
if ur smart u can find a way to make him stop the lies...make him know that he can talk to u about his things without making anything up, and that u wont get mad for the things he does...
unless what he´s doing is really bad then u have the right to get mad..
try to talk to a specialist in this stuff,without telling ur husband..and u can work on the specialist advice..
good luck!
2006-08-18 05:41:42 · answer #5 · answered by Sus-Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get this book.
"When Your Lover Is A Liar" by Susan Forward.
My relationship of 18 years was built on lies and deceit. It gave me h*ll and I couldnt believe how much I put up with them.
This book has helped me to understand why liars lie (esp men) but most importantly, it will help you to heal your wounds of deception and betrayal caused by the liar.
Hope it helps you.
2006-08-18 05:29:26 · answer #6 · answered by DiL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey if he doesnt tell you the truth you find out the truth .Its a round the clock job but its better than taking lies all the time.In that way u know what is the truth and be relieved.and next time try to give a ultimatum that u wont take it.see if it works.
2006-08-18 07:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone already mentioned this, but he's a pathological liar, they're not fun people to be around. I knew someone like this and she would lie about things that happened in her childhood to get attention, it was so stupid!
2006-08-18 05:19:00 · answer #8 · answered by Adam G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband might need professional help. His behaviour seems to be out of his control, it's a compulsion. You have to insist he seeks medical help - otherwise, your relationship is likely to deteriorate beyond repair.
2006-08-18 05:23:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's a habit for him. I don't know how you're going to be able to help him on that, unless he recognizes he has a problem and helps himself. Why do you two live in different states?
2006-08-18 05:19:05 · answer #10 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋