When A Spanking Occurs In Public, Are We Obligated To Intercede?

Question

I witnessed a mother lightly spanking her child on the legs because he was grabbing items off the candy stands. Many of my fellow shoppers accuses her of abuse. And one called the police. Would you mind your own business or intercede?

Answer 1

in most states, public punishment is not permitted. Beating a child violates the child's rights. You can call a cop; but to intercede is a violation of the parent's rights to raise their children. Plus, the courts do not desire to tackle the religious right.

Answer 2

A little silly to me, when you see what real abuse looks like.

I've seen some people's version of "spanking," though, and it can look more like "beating" -- the parent is frustrated and angry, the child is not compliant, and they just flip out and start wailing hard on the kid's bottom. That's *not* discipline -- that's the parent venting their anger on the kid.

That sort of thing does upset me... because not only is it abusive, but because the kid prior to the incident was not being disciplined consistently or well by the parent. (The kid's behavior seemed almost inevitable, if the parent did not do things different.)

Would I intercede? Usually by the time you notice, the "spanking" is done, unfortunately. I would definitely be concerned, though, size things up to decide whether it was a pattern, and if necessary, then report it.

As far as the mother above, I would look for alternatives to dealing with kids in stores. It's difficult, I know, especially when kids are young enough to be impulsive but old enough to be fully mobile.

Moms have a hard job, and they love their kid and wants to give the child freedom instead of unduly inhibiting them... but kids do need boundaries that they can understand and obey, or at least to not be placed in situations they can't handle. If a kid can't stop grabbing things at a certain age (usually very young), then it's okay to have them in a seat in the card and not give them the opportunity to wander until they're older and more mature.

Answer 3

That all depends on the behavior of the child, the parent's reaction, and other factors. Spanking is legal in most states. Physical correction for someone who can't or won't be reasoned with is often necessary. If the parent seems out of control or appears to be putting the child in real danger, then you should either try to intervene by getting their attention and trying to calm them down, or finding a policeman, etc. If the child is out of control and the spanking is controlled, mind your own business. If physical correction weren't legitimate, there would be no need for police to have mace, guns, clubs, or cuffs. They must use them appropriately, though. You don't shoot a jaywalker, but you might an armed robber. A child who does something accidentally or out of ignorance, should not be punished. A child who knows better and is willfully disobediant and defiant must be, yet within reason. Severe or permanent damage to the child must be carefully avoided. If you don't punish them and let them have their way, they often become more and more emboldened in their bad behavior, until they get into real trouble later on from a lack of discipline. Whatever you do, be careful. Don't rush in foolishly unless it's a life or death situation, in which case, call the police. Otherwise, let the parent do their job, and be grateful that there are still those who care enough and have the courage enough to do it. Just one more thing: if someone is truly out of control with their kid, be careful that they don't turn on you, too.

Answer 4

You said it was light spanking, so theres now problem.
If she was spanking him so hard to leave bruses than I would have called the police, but she wasn't.

That's the problem today, people are to got damn nosey, always in other peoples lives.

The boy was grabbing items off the candy stand, the mother might have told him to stop but he didn't so she spanked him, big ******* deal.

When children are bad your supposed to teach them right from wrong at an young age, grabbing items off the stand wrong.

And not, a time out doesn't work because they still repect the same old actions.

Thats why there are so many teenagers talking smart, cursing at their parent, breaking curfew, because their parent ain't spank them. Parent have to put their kids in there places to have control.

I didn't say beat you kids black and blue but if light punishment is needed punishment is needed. Some dumb ***** just can't see that, they think every little thing is child abuse.

Spanking lighty(not child abuse, no need to call the cops)

spanking,punching,beating, tell the child is all red up and brused(is child abuse and thats when you call the cops)

The person that called the cops on that lady, must uses that "corner" as punishment. And should have mined her/his business. Because If I was the lady with the child, and I knew who the person was that called the police on me, when I didn't do nothing wrong but let my child know that he/she must stop mis- behaving, I would have beaten their ***(the caller), and gave her/him a reason calling the police on me.

Answer 5

I assume it would always depend on the severity of the spanking. No doubt the child was experiencing some pain but I doubt that it was actually harming the child besides a possibly sore bottom. Keep in mind that it's in the nature of young kid's to overdramatize such a scene.

In a case where I feel like the mother or father was being gentle enough to not really physically harm the child. Research is rather inconclusive about whether it causes aggression*, but I personally feel that if it's done by a responsible parent who doesn't do it out of anger, it can be an acceptable and possibly very effective punishment.

So to answer your question, if it was truly "lightly", I would mind my own business. But if it seemed like the parent was doing it out of anger or harshly I would consider seeking a civil authority.

Answer 6

There will always be debate regarding corporal punishment. You describe the action as a light spank. Someone else apparently thought it more severe, or else they felt militantly against the use of spanking.

While I certainly don't condone beatings, a light swat on the behind can make a point quickly. But so many adults don't realize that placing your hand on a child's shoulder or touching their hand may be necessary to break into their awareness. If a child's attention is fixed on something, don't assume that just shouting at the top of your voice is going to break into their concentration. Making this initial physical contact, before loosing your temper, may help prevent the escalation to spanking.

Only you can decide in a given situation if you feel intervention is necessary. There are those in our society on both sides of the corporal punishment question that go too far.

Answer 7

Hi,
I would not intercede unless the child is being abused. A light spanking on the legs is ok. I would not consider this a police matter, your friend, it sounds to me, like they don't have any children of their own, and needs to mind their own business.

Answer 8

omg has this county gotten weak. When my mom was a child im talking 40 yrs ago if you did something wrong and you neighbor saw it the neighbor would disipline you and so would your folks. I think its funny when holy rollers pull this kind of ****, bc the bible says that if you spare the rod you spoil the child. that child wont be traumatized by a decent spanking everynow and then. will i use it as my first line of punishment no will i spank yes. would i report them no i would probably let them know that it is just good parenting. I was physically punished as a child. i was spanked and not with a hand either and i love my mom more for it. sometimes a kid needs to FEEL that they are out of line when words dont work. Now on the other hand if the parent had knocked the kid on the head i might feel differently.

Answer 9

The reality is that spanking is against the law in most states, so whether we like it or not - it is an illegal activity. I don't agree with the law, though I understand it's in place because there has been too much child abuse.

In this kind of situation I would say if the child was not been beaten, and by that I mean hit so hard that he/she was crying out loud in pain and had marks on the legs, I would just let it go. Since you had said "lightly" I would say it was not really inappropriate, though people would react to it.

Personally I would have ignored it, but you can't really fault someone else if they had a problem with it since it is after all the law.

Answer 10

Sometimes we go to far in our self righteousness and at other times not far enough. In this case i would not intercede, a light spanking....come on, I rather spank today than see my kid locked up in jail because every one was afraid to spank and corrected Lil Johnny. That is the problem with some of these Yong folks today nobody got in that a-s when they were Young. And guess who gits the blame when these kids are in jail? The parents. Yes, i spanked my kids when they were young, all that time out stuff did not work for them, and trust me my kids are grown and doing great mentally. My two oldest are Doctors(MD.) and my youngest is a police officer. Not bad for someone who got there butts spanked when they were little.

Answer 11

These are the same people who would accuse her of being a bad parent if she'd continued to let the child behave like a brat.

When my kids were small and misbehaved in a store, I'd just pick them up and leave. They learned very quickly that if they behaved badly the shopping trip was over. Sure it took time out my day to go back and finish the shopping alone later, but in the long run I always got done faster because I didn't have to deal with them throwing tantrums, grabbing things off the shelf or arguing with them about buying candy.