Keeping my name?

Question

I am Hispanic and my man disagrees with me wanting to hyphenate my name if we get married. I told him it is very important to me to keep my roots. And I feel like I am compromising by adding his name to my own to begin with. What do you all think????

I already have a kid with him who has his last name.

Answer 1

Well, I told my wife to keep her last name. My name is important to me and I understand that her name is important to her. I didn't think it was a big deal.

I came from a split home and when I was about 10 my Mother got remarried at that time there was pressure on me to change my name to my step dad's but I knew that I didn't want to lose that part of my identity so I said no. Perhaps that is why I had no problem with suggesting we keep our own names?

Hyphenating isn't a big deal but if he's not OK with that I know another couple who compromised by both changing their names to an neutral third name. Perhaps you could suggest that and see how he'd be with changing his name. I know it kind of defeats the purpose of staying in touch with your roots but it might make him think that the Hyphenating idea is OK.

Oh yeah, and as for explaining why your name is different, no one has ever asked me to explain and to my knowledge no one has asked my wife to explain the names either .

Answer 2

You will still have your roots no matter what. You will always be hispanic. You have to honor the new roots that you have which are the most important in the world. Do you want to go through life constantly explaining why your name is different? Hyphenating is seen as a lack of commitment. It means you don't fully respect what you have now, a joining of two people bringing differences together to create a better thing. Some people just feel that way. Don't start a marriage with an issue already that will be there forever. This could nag on your husband and leads to even bigger issues later.

Answer 3

Figure out which person this is a bigger deal too? If you have to keep your name...do it but hubby probably thinks your not truly giving yourself to him. Also think, if you have kids...what name will they have? Do you really want your kids to have a different last name then yourself?

I dropped my middle name and added my madien name then my married name. Or if you have a good last name, perhaps you could agree to name a child that (like Lee, Landon, Wilson, Etc.)

Work it out before you get married!

Answer 4

i think that if you are going to marry the man, then you should take his name and drop yours. You are not dropping your roots, by adding his last name, but just adding to them. Your children will still be a part of your heritage no matter what their last name is, and so will you, that will never change.

Answer 5

I dont see the big deal about it, cause when i get married i am goin to hyphenate my name no matter what.

Answer 6

I kept my maiden name. My husband at first had a problem with it, but I mean you can kept your name and use his name legally. I used my husband's name when we applied for an apartment and bought a car, but I use both professionally.

I mean what is the big deal. It's just a name. Good Luck

Answer 7

Yuo are not commited to the relationship. You are thinking more of your father and not about your husband to be. The wedding vows say the you two shall become one. If you keep your maiden name how are you becoming one? You will keep your roots because you know who you are and who your family is.

Answer 8

Hyphenate it. OR, what I did was make my maiden name my middle name. (I asked my parents permission first and they said that was ok)

Answer 9

I ended up changing my last name to his, but I told him taht our children would all have my last name for their middle name, legally.If they come out of me, I want my name with hthem. it's easy to say "it'sjust a name" until you're giving it up.

Answer 10

you don't need a name to keep your roots but I think its ok to have both sometimes it sounds cool....as long as its not like a few I've seen ...Brown-Cocburn or Small-Manly