Why do my boyfriend and I argue so much?

Question

Why do my boyfriend and I argue so much if we're just going to make up within the end of the day? We have been living together for over 3 years.

My boyfriend and I are always are arguing....then the next minute we are making up in various ways...I think that's kinda dumb for us to argue in the first place. I mean I hate to argue...and he dont know how to just leave things alone......I mean the past is the past.....you cant change it so deal with it an move on.....ya know???? Thats how I see it....but he's so stubborn and takes it to a whole other level!

I mean he asks me to tell him how I feel an gets mad when I dont. then when I do, he says I complain about him too much, when he's the one who asked. Then I go back an keep what im feeling to myself an he gets mad. Sometimes I think he's retarted or something. I mean im confused !

Answer 1

You won't admit that he's always right. I have the same problem.

Answer 2

Time to find another boy friend. I don't see you guys really going in the right direction. I'm sure you love him but if you know that things are not great then why waste your time and have your heart broke in the long run. Ive been threw this, you cant have a loving and happy relationship with someone who is always talking smack and bringing you down. You deserve better. I kicked mine out after 3 years also, he tried to come back many times and at first I thought it would work out. I gave him so many opportunities but in the long run he just always went back to being the same jerk. Today I have a great guy, who treats me like a queen and we rarely argue. Try counseling if you think it will help if not get out and find someone who is worthy of you! Good luck!

Answer 3

This sounds like a poor communication to me. When your b/f asks you to tell him how you feel. Then tell him right out "Why?, you only get mad when I do." And when it does come to a discussion, let it remain as such... A "Discussion". If it gets to be "heated" and you can see it is working to an argument.... tell him you can finish the "Discussion" later, when things cool down. If this don't work, then this only proves you both are not compatible. This happens to more couples than you know. I have an Aunt and Uncle that couldn't be married because of this. Once they were divorced they got along great. They didn't live together, but they were the most "Married, divorced couple" I have ever seen in my life!

Answer 4

Why do you argue? You have a compatability issue and if its been going on for a long time you need to make some serious choices. Either counseling or go your separate ways. Yeah, I know, you love each other. Well folks that love each other do not argue each and every day about the same things over and over. Yeah, we argue on occasions, but yours sounds more serious than that. This is a common problem among those who live together without marriage. The lack of commitment (legally, emotionally, psychologically and in maturity) causes problems to surface that do not commonly surface in marriage. You two do not have commitment (other than in agreeing to live together and have sex) over the long haul. Whether you like it or not, your commitment is limited to the here and now. If either of you don't like it you can (and will) move on and blame it on the other. Your relationship is ego centered and as a result you will probably continue to argue until you get counseling or get married (and I wouldn't until after counseling) or split. Marriage relationships are more centered on fulfilling each others (and the family's needs) rather than being centered on self. That makes a real difference in how the home fires burn (in other words what's REALLY important as opposed to what's important in my life).

You might want to consider that in deciding where to go from here.

Answer 5

My boyfriend is the SAME way. They ask and then when you tell them, they get mad. I really think its just a guy thing. Some days they just don't want to see or talk to us. Its something we have to accept just like there are times when we dont want to be around them. Everyone needs a break and some time. Maybe you guys should cut back on the time you spend together.

Answer 6

maybe you guys should spend sometime apart!

Give each other some space maybe you are together too much!
Walk away from the situation for a while if nothing else it'll give you guys sometime to miss each other and that will always help!
Me and my bf went threw something like this and after being away from each other for a while we both realized that there was no place we'd rather be than with each other!
I'm not saying that you'll have a happily ever after but at least you'll know where you stand!

Answer 7

I think it's more of an insecure feeling. Your bf keeps on asking how you feel towards him as he wants to know how much you love him, how much you see him more superior than other guys and so....in other words he wants to be the hero in your heart. He already fixed his answer in his mind and when he doesn't get the answer he expected for from you, he feels down and insecure. He thinks you don't really love him full heartedly and that there's something lacking in himself. He's afraid he's not good enough for you and that you may leave him for another superior guy. Maybe you need to find out more about his insecure feelings. You need to let him that he is in your heart and that you are not going to leave him. Once he understands that, you may start to see some changes....

Answer 8

Simple solution: Get yourself a new man. Living for 3yrs and can't compromise? Its a road to disaster!!! Get out now, maybe next time you guys argue just be like you know what Johny? IT'S OVER, I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS BS! hehe. Or just be the female dog (the b*tch) and keep your mouth shut, and no arguements should come up right? You guys sound like 2yrs old fighting for a cookie.

PS. It's lust baby, not love.

Answer 9

except you're going thoroughly out of your thank you to maintain from arguing (ie, protecting your tongue on an important concern) then no, it is not weird and wonderful. i do no longer argue with my boyfriend of what, fifteen months? i are transforming into moody around him and each little thing, yet we've on no account rather argued. mentioned issues specific, yet without the rather charged thoughts. it extremely is greater helpful in case you may communicate freely than argue.

Answer 10

People argue all the time but thats a part of being together, if you argue way to much its not a good thing.But if your argue for little stupid things, its a way of learning from that arguement.

Answer 11

I think it's time you found a new boyfriend. Obviously your relationship with him is unhealthy for both of you, you probably aren't too compatible at all.

I think it's best you throw in the towel and look for a guy who thinks on the same page as you, then you'll be much happier.