emotional connection to at all". What to do? There is external stress in our life, but she says this has been going on for some time. I'm more than willing to work on this issue - as relational stuff certainly is involved - but why the "googling"?
2006-08-18 04:23:57 · 7 answers · asked by Whattodo? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't worry about it.
2006-08-18 04:42:15 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Googling...as in trying to look them up? Yeah, I agree, probably with all of the problems you two are having, she gets to thinking about the past, reminiscing, and then wonders what ever happened to those people. I do that. She may not have an emotional attachment, but they are fond memories and she may not want to relive it, but she might be curious, might hope she finds them all happy and content. I know I do. I occassionally look up ex boyfriends, wondering how they're doing, but without wanting to intrude in their lives or hurt my husband (who wouldn't understand either). Maybe it's a girl thing, I don't know, but people tend to stay with me. I'm just as apt to look up old friends, and for me, ex partners were friends too.
I honestly wouldn't put much more than into it. It's probably nothing but stress. Stress in a marriage is very depressing and that always tends to get me thinking about good times.
2006-08-18 04:37:58 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going through this right now myself. Counseling is helping.
Are you ready to accept part of the blame (& shame)?
It takes two to tango.
You both had expectations going into your marriage. Neither of you was probably able to fully understand & apreciate the wants, desires or needs of the other.
You connect emotionally through sex...which is easy & always available (self-love counts).
She connects emotionally through attention & affection..not sex.
Since she wasn't getting enough of that from day 1...she built up layers. Added layers could include...never separating from her first family, never developing her own individual life, kids, growing responsiblities, mid-life crisis, external crisis, etc.
Want her back??? Give her 3 hours of undivided attention per day....good luck with that.
Seems to be working for us. We're better than we've been for years, but we have a ways to go.
2006-08-18 04:39:06 · answer #3 · answered by hellsbells 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She lost interest in sex with *you*... If you're working on things - great, you may still come to an understanding, and it'll get better. She may suffer from depression, who knows. As far as googleing goes... Everyone thinks of their former partners sometimes. Unless you have other, more serious, reasons to mistrust her - this isn't something to worry about.
2006-08-18 05:19:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try a sex therapist or just hit up you local sex store for some fun toys and/or games. Spice it up. It might not be that she want's these past guys but that she wants the thrill of it....thrill her in other ways. Try light bondage (make sure she's okay with it and that she can always get loose if she wants) or even porn. Find one with a plot (girls like a story usually, not just sex) and just put it on. Her response might suprise her.
2006-08-18 04:36:08 · answer #5 · answered by Amy B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People always wonder what if?
she is probably just curious as to what happened to them.
I woudn't worry to much unless she starts to reach out to them.
Sometimes holding out happens when a person thinks they can restart past relationship.good luck
2006-08-18 04:32:27 · answer #6 · answered by desayunogratis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not much gratification sexually in googling. Make sure she is satisfied sexually and having great orgasms. She will be more interested I bet.
2006-08-18 04:30:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋