My husband does not seam interested in sex. It has been 14 months and we have had sex 4 times.?

Question

We had our son 15 months ago. I have lost all my weight and look sexy enough to catch other mens eyes. I am 23 my husband 35. When we do begin sex its like he is not erect and he has to hold it to keep erect. And i always am the one to instigate sex. He never initiates sex. And the last two times he did not finish.

Answer 1

Gay, much?

Answer 2

Could be physical, could be psychological.

He needs to have a physical and you need to see a counselor together.

sex 4x in a year is pretty low frequency even for priests.

There could be several things going on.

a. Blood pressure (Leading to ED)
b. Fear and anxiety (related to the pregnancy and birth of the child)
In all likelihood this is the primary issue. Men worry about stroking boobs when a mother is nursing, hurting a female after she's had a child, Did the doctor do an episiotomy and sew you back up in delivery? If the vaginal closure is loose it is difficult for guys to get and maintain an erection in a loose channel. If he witnessed the birth the psychological impact of that can be dramatic to some guys.

Keep instigating, and talk to him about him instigating. Make it a regular event.. On friday night after the baby is asleep you "do it".. If he can see you are serious about having sex, he may become so as well.

c. emotional disengagement
d. getting his needs met elsewhere (either excessive masturbation or another place to park the sausage)
e. he is questioning his sexual orientation and doesn't find you (or other women attractive)

Talk to him.


.

Answer 3

Sounds like it could be a couple of things. He could be tired from work realated stresses, he could be tired from having a son around after a long day at work, or he could be having an affair.

I am 22 and my husband is 38,and we have a 22 month old, and we have no problem in our sex lifes, more often than not i am fighting him off and i havent even lost all my pregnancy weight!

Just remember it is not you, its him.

Have you asked about it? Mabey one evening, sit him down and tell him that you are feeling confused that he isn't into sex, and ask him what is wrong. Ask him if he is seeing someone else, that is the only way you are going to get the truth.

Good luck honey, i hope it is just a temporary thing for your sake!

Answer 4

There may be many reasons why your husband is not relating to you as you would like and they have nothing to do with you personally, or he has lost interest in you as you may think.
He may have have a physical problem of which there are a few, or a psychological problem which happens to some men after the birth of a child.
It may be an idea to talk the problem over with your husband and tell him how you are feeling, if he is approachable and you feel you are able to talk to him about it, if you have not already done so.
Another suggestion is to seek medical advice and explore all avenues on what could be causing this problem.
I wish you well.

Answer 5

I do appreciate your frustration.It happens at some point in a marriage relationship.it is good to know that you have a son,that means he is not impotent.The fact that you are taking good care of your appearance is also a step in the right direction.It does not really matter who initiates sex.Try to have a chat with him about your worries in a non yudgemental way.He may have some issues bothering him.You do not have to strive to catch other mens attention..stay focussed on getting to the bottom of your husbands situation,with little prayer,patience and some work you may notice a change soon,...never give up...

Answer 6

Guys have problems you know! its called MED! or male erectile dysfunction is quite a common thing amongst guys, though many wouldn't admit it.. Mostly its all Its all about confidence and self esteem or lack of it!. though there are other medical causation's which will need to be sorted out by your MD.

Its likely that the trouble lays within male psychology / and he is lacking in self esteem - guys are sposed to be horny all the time! or so modern life would have you believe.. Its not the case and because he doesn't feel horny he feels inadequate towards his sexual performance with you!.

One sure thing though if you comment about his lack of arousal! - He'll start to worry! and it will only make things worse because his inner self will make him feel a failure ultimately Its like a self defeating thing which just gets worse!.

How is your husband towards you? is he loving and passionate? does help with the baby? another problem could be the type of contraception you use,
You may well think about the circumstances of your first pregnancy !, was it planned or was it a mistake? : did he want the child?- he may be worried about getting you pregnant again - and the difficulties that might add to your lives. It may be the fact that he hates using condoms - or he doesn't trust you to take your contraception pill - or he just doesn't trust contraception at all.. All these things will weigh on his mind and add to the poor performance and lack of confidence. Perhaps you should talk to your doctor to get advice on what methods are available and which would be the best for you!.

The best thing to do is just to leave him be for awhile and don't try to force things.. if you do find that sex starts between you, then use lots of foreplay - never just try to get it over with quickly !- You can perhaps try oral sex, or maybe sexy talk!, hey try watching porn together. or even get some sex toys and learn to play with them together. .see if he likes being rubbed with warm baby oil,, get him to rub you baby oil!.. use your imagination!.. I know its frustrating for you! ,, but stop to think about him and how he is feeling..

Anyway good luck!..

write me back if you'd like too discuss anything!.

Answer 7

Viagra? No way - he is 35 he should have a sex drive. If you're in your 50's yea get Viagra for your husband. I believe he is having an affair - men are worse than women when it pertains to sex. They both love it but with men I think its worse - they have to have it. Atleast that is what I hear from a lot of men. He is cheating - that is a definite! You were the one who had the baby -therefore it should be you without the sex drive not your husband

Answer 8

It is possible hes experiencing problems at work, or worried about something. The fact you are so young could create some type of pressure to perform, leading to a loss of concentration, resulting in weaker erections. Try talking to him, and if there are no problems in that side, the doctor is the next option. You are young and full of life, and need a man that measures up with such situation.

Answer 9

He prob. getting it from somewhere else, or self (porn, internet, cyber or phone). For some reason he has lost interst. Only you and him can figure it out. What changed. Has medican changed. His desires changed but why? Are you different. Just cause other men look at you, doesnt mean you still attract him. Check your self, (sight, smells, clothes, hair, attitude) Then check him. He may be stressed at work or at home. Talk to him about it in a non-confrontatial way. Build up his ego. Experiement with Viagra.

Answer 10

Some men may get turn off by child birth. It's the madonna syndrom. Now you are in a different category, the mother if his son is sacred, just like his mother is.
Elvis Presley is famous for this syndrome, as Pricilal is a very pretty lady and yet, he had no intered in her hafter having a child.

Another posibility is that he is getting it else where, or medical problems, stress at work.

You know him well, so you know which one it is.

Good luck

Answer 11

Maybe he has ED. Most guys even if they are not interested in the woman that can still have sex, men are always in the mood so I dont think its you. Sit down with him and have a real discussion about what u r thinking and see if he wont see a doctor. ED is nothing to be ashamed of and millions of men have it and are being treated for it. Ohh yeah ED is short for erectial disfunction and it is very common.