tell a funny joke a good one?

Answer 1

A man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Ihave bad news and I have worse news, which would you like first?"
The man is shocked, but replies, "I'll hear the bad news first."
The doc says, "Allright, you've got 24 hours to live."
The man is horrified. "What could possibly be worse than that?"
The doc lowers his head and mumbles, "I forgot to tell you yesterday."



A woman and her husband have six male children.
The husband is so happy that he could produce 6 boys he starts reffering to his wife as "mother of six."
Eventually the wife grows tired of this, and more and more irritated.
At a party one night, her husband announces loudly in front of everyone, "Mother of six, are you ready to leave?"
She replied just as loud," Whenever you are, Father of four!!"

Answer 2

Moses, Jesus and an old man are playing golf. First strikes Moses. The ball flies to the sea. So Moses comes to the shore, splits the sea and takes the ball out.
Next, strikes Jesus. Also, the ball flies in the water, so he comes walking on the water, reaches down and, again, takes the ball out.
Now, the old man is playing. He strikes - the ball is flying towards the sea, and just when it's about to hit the surface, a fish jumps out and eats the ball. Before the fish could fall back in the sea, an eagle descends from the sky and catches the fish.
So the eagle is flying with the fish in it's claws and, just above the hole, the fish drops the ball and it goes right in the hole.
Now Jesus turns to the old man and says: ''For heavens sake, Dad, it's just a game!!!''

Answer 3

It is important for ALL faiths to recognize these Four Great Religious Truths........

The 4 Great Truths:

1. Muslims do not recognize the Jews as God's chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters

Have a great day!!!

Answer 4

A man ran into a bear in the woods. The bear began to approach the man with a hungry look in his eyes. The man started prayin to God. The conversation is as below.
Man: Pls God save me 4rm this bear.
God: No. All ur life u have been a wicked man.
Man: Pls God if u save me i'll be a christian all my life.
God: No
Man: Then pls make the bear a christian.
God: Okay
The bear now got to the man, knelt down and said 'Thank you o, Lord for the food we are about to receive'.

Answer 5

um...a blond a Burnett and a red head had escaped from prison and were being chased. they came upon a farm; and seeing that the police were close on their heels hid in three separate potato sacks near by. so when the police came the saw the sacks and proceeded to kick each of them in turn; to make sure no one was in there. when they kicked the Burnett's sack; she made a barking sound(like a dog) when they kicked the red head's sack she meowed (like a cat) and when they kicked the blonds sack; she catching on said as sweet as she could; "potato!"

i couldn't really think of one...sry

this ones better...
Q: what do you get when you cross a bull dog and a $hit su?
A: bu!! ****
hehe

Answer 6

Your mama is so fat, when she steps on the dance floor, she makes the band skip.

Your mama's house is so small, I threw a rock and hit everyone inside

Your mama is so fat, when she jumped off the high diving board, she showed up on radar.

Your mama's so dumb, when we told her to sit on the couch and watch TV, she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

Your mama's so fat, when she passed by the TV screen, I missed "60 Minutes."

Your mama's so fat, when she did the splits, she gave the road a hickey!

Your mama's so stupid, she put a TV dinner in the VCR.

Answer 7

ok.
all d men in a particular church were asked to split into 2 groups.
on the left for those whose wives controls and
the right those who control their wives.
all the men moved to the left side,
on the right remained one shortish guy.
so all the guys were curious and asked him,
how do u do it?
he replied, "actually my wife told me to stay here"

Answer 8

Nipple nipple little star, can i ***** you in the car, up above your bre_ast so high, always milky never dry, let me press it dont feel shy, in the bra it will dry...

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Answer 9

Theres this woman, she has three kids.
One of the kids comes up and askes," Mom, why did you name me sunflower?'
The mom answers," Because when you were born, a sunflower pettal fell on your head."
The other child came up and asked the same question, but her name was Rose.
The mother said'" Because a rose pettal fell on your head when you were born."
The her son comes up and asks the same question ," MoM, WHy Did --"
The mom yells'" SHUT UP FRIDGE!"

Answer 10

Q:
What do you get when you cross Bush with James Dean?

A:
Rebel without a clue.

Have a good day!