My boyfriend and I are talking marriage and children. (yay! :P) I'm not pregnant yet. He wants his mother and/or his cousin (she's more like a sister) to be with me when i'm in labor. I told him that I want him to be present as well. (to the cut the cord and just be there for me in general) He says "the delivery room is not a man's place" I was just wondering how common it is for a woman to have her boyfriend or husband present while she's giving birth.
2006-08-18 03:20:09 · 106 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My husband was there for the birth of both our children. In fact, and this may sound strange to some people, but my dad was also there for both of the births. It wasn't planned for my father to be there for the first one but he was there when the doctor said it's time and told everyone in the room they could stay, my husband, my mom and my dad. My dad looked at me and said "what do you think?" I told him I didn't care who was in there I just wanted it to be over.
I think he is the only man that I know of that has seen his grandchildren be born, it means alot to him now and even though it might sound a little weird it's really not. I brought a life into the world, his grandson and he was there for it just like my mother. So no, I don't think that the delivery room is for women only.
2006-08-18 06:07:06 · answer #1 · answered by girlfromflorida 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's such a personal choice. Whatever happens, you both have to be comfortable with it. Imagine that you force him into the delivery room and he resents it for the rest of your life together! It's likely he'd be thankful, but in the end I think you're better off making it a choice not a requirement.
My husband was present for the birth of our daughter - he wouldn't have missed it even though at first he was squeamish.
If this guy is so great you want to spend your life with him, worry more about how he'll be as a husband and father and less about whether he'll actually be present for the birth. For many years, until the 1970s, men were not even allowed near their babies for quite some time and they managed to be loving fathers just the same.
Best wishes.
2006-08-25 11:45:27 · answer #2 · answered by Marian424 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand him maybe not wanting to cut the cord I work in a doctors office and 2 male patients have fainted after cutting the cord after seeing the blood. As far as not being in the room at all you guys really have to talk about that the day you deliver is about you having a healthy baby and he should want to be apart of that. I am not sure if it is because of some weird testosterone thing but he needs to grow up, he will more than likely regret it after. The moment that the baby comes out and you here if cry for the first time there is a immediate bond. You could not stop my husband from being there.
2006-08-22 09:49:51 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney G 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would be more surprised if he wasn't in the room. My husband is rather proud of the fact that he has been in the room for each one of his children as they were born. He loves being able to be the first to welcome them into the world. I guess its about the connection. But you bf could be afraid of what it all entails (the potential screaming, blood...etc). If he says the delivery room is not a man's place..well...then he should consider it IS a FATHERS place to be there for his children. He could be using it as a bit of a cover up for fear.
Watching shows on pregnancy can help him, but you might have to find a sneaky way to get him to watch it. Make sure he makes it for the sonograms! That could be a huge help. He would need to make a connection with the child more so than you do, because you have the instant connection being as you are the one who is carrying it lol. When you get to be larger and can feel the kicking from the outside, get him to feel it as well. Maybe he would turn around become the silly man who talks to his baby in the belly, you never know.
But you guys are still in the very early stages and have a ways to go yet. Give it all time, after things have carried on he may change his mind about it anyway.
Good luck with your plans!
2006-08-18 03:49:57 · answer #4 · answered by saintlyinnocents 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Mine was there with the first and now I don't think he'd miss being there for anything with the second. Maybe he's just scared. My husband was afraid how he would react to seeing me in pain and seeing the blood, and all the good stuff that goes along with that so we invited my sister in. Having both of them there was excellent!! He was much more relaxed knowing she was willing to step in if need be, but I felt better knowing he was there and not going to miss something that important. And tell your b/f that anymore, the delivery is the place for everyone to be. New research that I just read says more than half women who give birth now have more than just their husband/bf in the room---including parents and friends. Maybe when it's time, you can gethim to birthing classes with you and he'll see all the other men there and know it's not that bad.
2006-08-25 08:37:06 · answer #5 · answered by missionhtg 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband will always be in the room, unless he is out of town and can't be there. But it is up to you and your b/f. If you don't think that he would be a good birthing coach, then don't worry about him being in there. You will need 2-3 commited people to be with you during it all. I'm saying that many b/c someone will inevitably need to go to the potty while your having a contraction and you may need one for counter pressure on your back and another to hold your hand and breath with you and to tell you when the contraction is over. Thats how it was with our first.
2006-08-25 17:54:03 · answer #6 · answered by emerys4christ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband was right by my side from begining to end. I also had 16 friends and family members in the room during delivery, but my husband was the only male.
2006-08-25 20:42:38 · answer #7 · answered by Christy L 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In fact, and this may sound strange to some people, but my dad was also there for both of the births. It wasn't planned for my father to be there for the first one but he was there when the doctor said it's time and told everyone in the room they could stay, my husband, my mom and my dad. My dad looked at me and said "what do you think?" I told him I didn't care who was in there I just wanted it to be over.
I think he is the only man that I know of that has seen his grandchildren be born, it means alot to him now and even though it might sound a little weird it's really not. I brought a life int
2014-11-07 07:58:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very common for the father to be in the delivery room. Back in the middle ages they believed that men carried disease so they shouldn't be in the delivery room. Things have obviously changed by now, but some men haven't.
2006-08-26 03:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by ncladams 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My brother had a baby this morning and even though his wife and him are getting a divorce they both came together to experience the birth of their son. He was one of the first to see his baby in the world and it is an experience he will never forget. There are some men like yours that don't want to be in there some will not think of their women as sexual anymore and only think of them as mothers so if you really want this I'd say talk it out find out why he believes it is not a mans place and try and consider his feelings too.
2014-11-07 07:31:08 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋