My boyfriend spends most of his time playing on a playstion with his junky mates. He is an alcoholic. When he goes to the pub he gets exceptionally drunk and then he turns up really late, angry and abusive with the smell of ladies perfume all over him. He swears and i think his new friends are into marijuana and perscription drugs. Last night he started punching me and i feel he doesn't love me. But i love him so much. This morning he told me he loved me and he wouldn't do it again. He loves me becuase every time there is another man around he goes mad.
There is another man (steve), my boss and he is lovely. He has always supported me. I can always talk to him and he really understands. We ended getting together at a works do at christmas at a novatel. Everything was good and i wanted to spend more time with him but he said that it wasn't that easy becuase he couldn't leave his wife and three children. But i think love him too. The sex was amazing.
So what do i do? i'm stuck
2006-08-18 03:18:50 · 28 answers · asked by Halucinagenic 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Leave both men
Forget them
they are both recipies for diaster and I'm sure you could find a man you love, who isn't married, and who isn't an alcoholic.
Otherwise, your setting yourself up for heartache.
2006-08-18 03:23:37 · answer #1 · answered by KLD it. 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow. You have terrible taste in men. What you do is leave your boss as just your boss and than ditch the loser alcoholic/drug addict/abusive boyfriend! Yes the prospect of being alone might be scary as hell but you need it. Desperately. If Steve loved you, he would leave his wife and kids. Thats the thing about love is that it makes you do crazy things- he loves them 1st and foremost and definately more than he has feelings (whatever those are) for you. And as for your boyfriend, he doesn't even love himself so he certainly cannot love you, he is a mental illness case and needs to be kicked to the curb. He is stringing you along, acting sweet and apologogetic- if you were really sorry, you wouldn't do it. Again and again and again to top it off.
You deserve better.
"What do you do"? GO OUT WITH YOUR GIRL FRIENDS and have fun. Go meet some new people, have a blast and you will see how many amazing people are out there who wants your company and values you.
2006-08-18 10:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're crazy. You think a jealous insecure drunk, who uses you for a support system and punching bag loves you. Believe me someone that loves you would be doing everything to make sure your quality of life is better. Second, where are your morals you are messing around with a married man and complaining about you bf smelling like perfume. You need to self evaluate and I don't think your ready for a committed relationship! You know sometimes God humbles us by going through things in life in order for us to enjoy the fruits of life. Case and point, you are going through hell in your relationship because you are sabotaging your boss's relationship with his wife, given he is part to blame however let him choose someone else NOT YOU! Honey life is too short to be carrying around baggage and negativity, so just change! Lastly, who even said you need a man all together you need some you time and I mean some serious abreacting!
2006-08-18 10:43:55 · answer #3 · answered by souljagirpart2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sure are stuck. Not even a decent thing to have sex with a married man and now you've made potential problems at work by having an affair with your boss.
Leave the boyfriend and leave the boss alone. Besides, if he's unfaithful to his wife, what makes you think he's a lovely man and would be faithful to you?
2006-08-18 10:25:32 · answer #4 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you need to get out of this mess. You dont need an abusivr boyfriend, leave him right now! The excuses end the 'i love yous' are only there because he wants you around for god knows what. (maybe to be abled to swear at you and punch you next time, because you stay around anyway?) You are not a punching bag, have some respect for yourself and find yourself a better man and situation!
For as having sex with your married boss, you should be ashamed of yourself.
2006-08-18 10:28:52 · answer #5 · answered by Joyce R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. Now. The cycle of abuse stated with his verbal abuse, and his disregard for you as a person. He has hit you. Do not stay in that situation a moment longer. Take your things and go to a distant friends / parents / the police if you have to, but DO NOT STAY. If you forgive him even once you will be stuck there for ever because he will think that he can get away with it and it will only get WORSE from here. Much much worse.
P.S. The other man (even if he is married) is still better that a drunken, violent, pothead.
2006-08-18 10:27:43 · answer #6 · answered by stevensontj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st thing is u need to get rid of the alcoholic, abusive bf.. 2nd just to let u know just cause he gets mad when other men r around doesn't mean squat.. he's just being possesive.. know the difference..
3rd stop sleeping w/a married man.. respect urself, and u need to respect the vows that he made to his wife even if he doesn't.. the world doesn't need more women like u encouranging men to cheat by being the sidechick/mistress..
4th just start ur life fresh w/no drama and find ur own man.. sleeping w/ur boss/married man will only lead to disaster at the office.. Besides do u really want to be labeled as a home wrecker..
2006-08-18 10:25:37 · answer #7 · answered by Queen D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hitting and punching are never a sign of love. Your boyfriend hates himself and because he hates himself he can not love anyone. Once he cares about what happens to him then he can care about what happens to you. He goes mad when he sees you with another man because he thinks you belong to him...you are his property. That is not love! You have a dramatic relationship with your boyfriend so emotions are very high and it feels like romance to you.
What is it that you want? Love, happiness, great sex? Guess what? You are looking for someone to bring you all this on a silver platter. Create the love and happiness within your own spirit and the right man will show up.
2006-08-18 10:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by Sister Cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done it...
Leave the abusive drunk because he doesn't love you no matter what you may thing. It will only get worse
Go for the nice guy or some nice time to your self.
I've been beaten adn etc by more then one ex and leaving was the best thing I ever did for my self. Then I was single fo a bit and met the man of my dreams and we've been together andhappy of nearly 2 years now and I can trust him with all of my being
You cant find your soul mate before you find yourself
2006-08-18 10:24:35 · answer #9 · answered by xxkittenluvxx143 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, first of all, with your boyfriend, I think that you should leave him. I have been plenty of abusive relationships and if he really loved you, he wouldn't hit you. I think that you should tell him that you both should just be friends..As with your boss, you shouldn't stay with him if he has a wife. If he choses to leave his wife for you, then good luck with that BUT if he wants to be with his wife, you should just move on. Try to be single for a little while and then try to find someone else who is not abusive and treats you the way you should be treated...No woman should be treated badly...Good luck with everything and I hope everything works out for you.
2006-08-18 10:27:58 · answer #10 · answered by Justine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to a different town!! Swear off abusive and married men. Both are using your body, your bf for a punching bag and Steve for the side sex. Get a nice-unmarried man.
2006-08-18 10:26:07 · answer #11 · answered by theoldguy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋