I'm 19 years old and still a virgin. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and have waited to have sex. We both want whats best for our relationship and we know that sex isnt the most important thing. The main reasons I have waited was because I have seen sex ruin a lot of couples relationships, especially when they're young and its all new. I'm worried that if we have sex it will make atleast one of us curious about other people especially since we will have no experience with anyone else. i'm starting to feel like ok we've waited 3 years, our relationship obviously isnt just physical why are we still wating? I feel like im ready to have sex but i am definitely willing to wait if i think it would ruin our relationship. a lot of adults tell me that we probably wont last bc we've never been with anyone else so i feel like the longer i wait to have sex the longer i have before he might start getting curious. please help
2006-08-18 02:53:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think you need to discuss this with your man. if you are both ready then i dont see a problem. but if you both have plans on getting married to eachother then maybe you should wait til you get married. but this whole thing should be discussed with him not us. noone can tell you what to do. do whats right for the both of you.
2006-08-18 03:00:49 · answer #1 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk it over with your boyfriend and work out what is best for the two of you. Be aware (of course) that there is a flip side to the scenario you detail in that he may get curious about other people if you *don't* have sex with him as well.
Personally I don't think that having sex at this stage will ruin your relationship as - having waited as long as you have - you are (both) clearly mature enough not to let it. Therefore if you love each other enough and if it feels like the right time to go for it then do so.
2006-08-18 03:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by a1mandrake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm this reminds me of a great movie discussion about cereal and the varity pack. YOu start out with the varity pack the one that has a bunch of different cereals in small boxes and you can choose a different one each morning.......marriage is having to pick one for the rest of your life and so how do you do that? YOu have a problem.....
1) YOu wait till marriage and it sounds like you are curious and afraid he will be curious so no matter how long you wait you are going to stray to find out so based on your arguement you are trying to set up, you need to break up, go sew your wild oats and get back together or have become swingers.
2) Same start wait to get married and trust each other and then I suggest be very honest because if you want to try something new in bed talk about it because if you truly love someone the trust you have with each other makes it so much better than the varity pack. The grass is not greener on the otherside of the fence.
3) Have you talked to him about it because maybe you are stressing for nothing relax and enjoy your relationship.
By the way the movie I refered to is city slickers
2006-08-18 03:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by NVHSChemGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably not having sex that will make you curious about what sex with someone else would be like. Please make the judgment about having sex on what YOU think is best for you, not what is best for him. The only person whose behavior you control is your own and THAT will be true forever. The two of you need to negotiate the relationship and the things that should be included are sex, money, children, and all the other things that go into a connection of this magnitude.
2006-08-18 03:08:28 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advice is to just wait until you both are ready. If you really love him you should wait til you both really want to. I've never been in a situation like yours but it sounds complicated. All I know is that to me sex is important and if you are not sexually compatible it could be bad in the future...like you may not be satisfied and thus ruin the relationship...but if you both really love each other and the sex isn't that great...i think there is a lot that you could do to improve it and make is better overtime...
2006-08-18 03:02:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you with this guy 24/7 ?? How do you know he hasn't had sex with someone else?? I'd say if you were unsure that you should continue to wait. Also, having sex at even 19 can ruin your life with an unexpected pregnancy. Are you planning on marriage? Are you engaged? "Boyfriend" isn't enough to commit yourself with sex; at least get an engagement first.
2006-08-18 03:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get physical only when both of you are ready. And when both of you are prepared for any outcome, be it for the better or for the worse. Once decision is made, do not regret it. If he can still wait, then there's no pressure for both of you. He has respect for you. He'll ready himself when you're ready for him.
2006-08-18 03:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Queenie Tay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes its time to get downe too business in the romance department here and dont telll us you actualy slep in the same bed and just srare at one another you ever seen your partner in the nude after shower and get rock hard?? we have never understood how in the hell you can sleep with some body and se them in or out of the shower and just sit thrre liike you are a log!! get with it, do the big bang!! have you ever jacked off?? you are 19 i bet you have come on now start doing the big bang with partnerr its a great experiences 3 years and i would have been gone after the first week and dumped you!!
2006-08-18 03:02:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait for marriage now that you have had the good sense to wait this long. You're right that it might ruin things if he loses respect for you.
2006-08-18 03:07:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HEY!!!!!!! I knw wat u r going thru, i'm also 19 and lost my virginity a few months ago and i did it cos i thought d same thing, we're still together but it aint d same.
we dont talk like we used to,i'm not saying it will happen to you but if he loves u and he is willing to wait, then wait. If it leads to marriage all well and gud if u wait, and if it doesnt u have nothing to loose as well. CHOOSE WISELY
2006-08-18 03:24:48 · answer #10 · answered by fifie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋