Im so scared of being alone?

Question

Im a successful young dentist, im handsome, work is not so gr8 but im improving, have a diverse and rich mentality, have lots of friends, very succesful socially, a party bomb.....but ive had this fear since i was a child...im soooo scared of being abandoned...i cant help it, i hide this feeling very well, but it strikes me bad and kills me
any help would be appreciated
Plus i have a gorgeous girlfriend, but still im so scared of getting abandoned...maybe that what made me successful socially, i learnt how to keep people around me...but with fear inside me that they might abandon me someday

Answer 1

it must be something from your childhood that
makes you feel this way, have you tried to think back
to what it MIGHT be ? maybe that can help you
overcome the fear.
have you talked to your girlfriend about this ? If she
really cares she will be willing to give you some advice on
what to do. Since she knows you she should be able
to give you great advice.
If you don't want her to know about this then I suggest you go to a professional & get some help w/ the
situation, they will know best.
Good Luck & take care

Answer 2

well, you know what?? I am not sure if you are an agnostic or affiliated to any religion.. But this same fear is what makes some people cling to religion.. Well if in case you are an agnostic, I would suggets that you take up Meditation and have a Guidance Counselling.If you are christian or religious then get in touch with your faith.. accept that one time or another in our life we will be abandoned.. I'll tell you what,, you do not fear abandonment... You fear not knowing what comes next after someone leaves your life.. keep an open mind and know that you are not the only one abandoned.. There are others,, yet they survive.I survived.

Answer 3

We come into this world alone, we go out alone, and in reality, we're alone througout our lives.

I kinda see it like this: God was one and alone, and He wished to experience life, so He created us, so He could experience life through us.

We can, truly, never be alone, because we are those drops from out of the universal sea of consciousness--God. We, collectively, constitute God. Just as the sea takes many forms--mist, fog, rivers, clouds, lakes, etc., it all eventually returns back to the sea; we, all, eventually return to God.

It is impossible, really, to be alone, because God is always with us, will never leave us, is the only constant in the universe, loves us UNconditionally. Do you know a human like that? Humans are just that--human. They love us the best they can; but, they are not God.

Love is not attachment, or possessiveness. None of us EVer belongs to each other; we all belong to Him. We should love one another; but, never atTACH ourselves to anyone but God. That way, you might lose your dessert in life (people), but you'll never lose your main course (God). Put another way, people are our just desserts. We get what we deserve. The more we point ourselves in the direction of God, the more He sends to us God-like people.

Hope this helps, some. If so, if you'd like to email me at [e-mail], maybe I can be further help. Meanwhile, be sure to check out my source.

Good luck to you. You are in my prayers.

If I were you, I would, also, seek counselling for abandonment issues probably picked up in your childhood. I had the same issues. Psychological counselling helped me understand how I got that way, the Baha'i Faith helped me do something about it.

Answer 4

I don't know the best course of treatment for you, but here are my unprofessional suggestions.

1. Realize first and foremost that no relationship is perfect. To you, the worst that can happen is for someone to leave you. For someone else, the worst that can happen is for the other person to abuse them (for instance). Accept that no relationship is guaranteed for life and that sometimes, it is better to end a relationship than continue to deal with one that goes bad.

2. Realize second that from what you described, you seem to be a great match. Greatness (unfortunately) does not guarantee relationship perfection. You are bound to be in a relationship with someone different from you and the end results are always unpredictable. Nevertheless, continue to be a "great catch," it will increase the likeliness that you find a decent woman who you have strong long-term compatibility with.

3. Continue to be involved in a variety of projects. Join groups...try to make meaningful relationships with several people. If your partner does leave you, you won't feel completely abandoned because of your social/emotional network.

4. See a therapist to discuss your abandonment issues. Sounds as if you've experienced it as a child perhaps? Believe you are worth keeping...anyone who doesn't see that doesn't deserve you and if you end up in that situation, it is in your best interest to continue seeking anyway. (not suggesting that you become vain, but a healthy dose of self esteem and self worth are always appealing and, well, healthy.

Answer 5

Even though everything might be going swell in your life most people hate being alone as it gives them a feeling of insecurity. My advice would be to talk to your family and friends about this and dont worry no matter how bad times are youll always have at least one good friend to get you through it and your family will always be there for you.
If you ever feel lonely theres one person whos always there and thats God.

Answer 6

You need to go head first and end this now.

Suggestion: Get a mountain bike, (or hike whatever) pack your bags and head off on a planned trip across some unknown and deserted areas and camp by yourself! Once you see your ok and can handle anything that happens, you will have ended that fear of being left alone forever, it's all in realizing your abilities, no different than taking and passing a test.

Answer 7

i know, being alone is a scary thing. sometimes i feel the same like u do. but i think the best thing i must do to fight it is try learn about myself, find the cause, enjoy what i have now n thanks to my God for all the good things He gave to me n stop thinking about it, "i must have a positive thinking!" i always say that to myself. n u should know that being alone is not as scary as u think. when ur alone u have more time to do anything u like, u can rest ur mind, n remember that u'll never be alone bcause u have a very best friends that'll never leave u, God, He'll always on urside, whenever n wherever u are

Answer 8

To some people, being alone is a great privilege. Solitude can be a great period of self reflection and discovery. Do not waste your energy to feed your fears. Instead, see how you can use the opportunities that it can bring.

Answer 9

Perhaps you should seek counseling to deal with your fears. If not the fears themselves could keep you from making committments and you will lose out in the long run.
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Answer 10

Me too. Did one of your parents leave when you were a child? My dad left when I was little and just popped in and out of my life.