My wife had an affair with a coworker. I told her I was done with her and was divorcing her. She said she did not want a divorce and that she has no desire to see this scum anymore. The cell bill comes in and I open it to follow up on her because there has been so much infidelity and so many lies that I no longer believe much of anthing she says about her life. Well, there it is, he now calls her from his office because she must have told him I know his cell number, they don't realize that I have his cell, office and home numbers too. I see he is the one calling her. I have not confronted her yet, but I am going to. I don't know if they still have a thing on the side going on or if he will not let go of her. I am so ready to kick her to the curb, yet I don't know for sure if its over or he just is not willing to let go of her. I wanted to give my wife this 1` last chance, but seeing that there has been comunication, How can I get an honest answer from her about whats going on.
2006-08-18 00:55:08 · 16 answers · asked by paulsexpress 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you deserve better. you dont need to waste yo time dealin with her, even if she has dropped him, she cheated on you with him already. you cant get an honest answer if shes still talkin to him. shes still gon tell u shes not cuz she wants her cake and eat it too. let her go man she aint worth yo time
2006-08-18 01:11:57 · answer #1 · answered by blackqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound really mean, but sometimes I wonder if these quesions are made up ... how can you even ask this question? She is still being really really shady, man! If she had this affair and you guys are trying to get past it, then she should have NO contact with this guy at all! If she works with him, then she needs another job. Better yet, she needs a kick in the *** and some divorce papers served up on a nice platter. Infidelity is so bad--and I am not a goody goody or a bible beater at all, but you do not cheat on your spouse. If the desire arises, then you must recognize that there is a problem and either fix it, get counseling, or get a divorce, but why cheat? You should leave her *** and don't even worry about the f**king phone bill. She is shaaaa-dy. Cheating should have been the last straw, but remaining in secret contact with the guy is definitely a deal breaker.
2006-08-18 01:51:58 · answer #2 · answered by danika1066 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He would not be calling her cell if it was over. Look to see how long the conversations last. If it is short then she might not be talking to him but if it is several minutes then they are still talking. She is just doing what guys do. She wants to keep her marriage and have a guy on the side. It doesn't sound like she has any intentions of leaving you right now. Is the other guy married? She could be waiting aroudn to see if he is going to leave a wife to be with her. She is a fool if that is what she is doing because men usually just play around and don't leave. Good luck. Maybe you should leave so she gets the idea that you are serious.
2006-08-18 02:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check the call durations, if they are longer than a second then she is still talking to him. Matter of fact if there are anty durations she is still talking to him. So like all women say once a cheater always a cheater and there is no coming back from it.....
In the same since, if you want to be sure, foward her calls to your phone or even switch phones for a day and then you will see what the deal really is. If she throws a fit about it then you know that she is still up to no good and that is when you just tell her that it is over!
2006-08-18 01:25:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be prepared for no honest answer. She may not even know "why" in rational terms why she is cheating and won't without a great deal of therapy or counseling. And THAT is no guarantee that she will at all.
You can bet there is something in her past--very likely abuse of some kind. Whether they still have a thing on the side isn't the critical question in my mind. It is what can be done. Counseling if she will is an option you may try. Here's a site:http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764
2006-08-18 01:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got half way through your question and stopped reading...there are so many issues here I don't even know where to begin!
You shouldn't have to check a phone bill to verify wether or not your spouse is cheating on you...if you are doing this, it's simply over!
You two need time apart, need to find some answers on your own. A relationship will not heal with one sneaky spouse's lack of trust checking bills and such...and the other not being faithful to their signifigant other.
I think you both need to grow up personally... and make some adult decisions.
2006-08-18 01:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since there has been dishonesty if she tells you the truth you will wonder if it's the truth or a lie sorry to say but right now you want believe to much of anything your wife says and there is no reason this guy should still be calling your wife this NEEDS TO COME TO A COMPLETE STOP talk to her about it if she seems like she is playing games some action maybe be required but don't let her play you as a fool
2006-08-18 01:13:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not going to. It sounds like you've given her enough chances already. Quit letting her make a fool of you and go find someone who is willing to be in an honest loving relationship. Good Luck
2006-08-18 01:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I know the truth about something, I speak to that TRUTH, not to the liar or object of the matter. Tell her what you know. She can play dumb all she wants but YOU know the truth so keep that the FOCUS. Even if she just looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights, she will hear you. Best hopes to you. Fight for your marriage, man.
2006-08-18 01:05:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he's calling her,, how long are the calls duration? maybe he keeps pestering her,maybe she did mean it ... if she didn't want you she would be long gone, give her the benefit of the doubt on this one, confront the guy, tell him to stop calling your wife, and go from there, but remember you need to forgive your wife, you can't keep throwing it up in her face or it just won't work. And if she keeps cheating, move on, you'll be fine in time, cheers!
2006-08-18 01:13:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was bothering her she would have come to you immediately so that you would not have had the oppertunity to doubt her when the cell bill came. She would have looked to you for protection while being honest before she was ever asked.
Sorry
2006-08-18 05:14:57 · answer #11 · answered by Julie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋