... I knew the kebab was bad straight away but I still ate it. Minutes later if felt queasy & started to what is technically known as spewing from both ends. I collapsed in a heap on the steps in front of the cenotaph in a river of my own vomit, blood & shite. Just as this happened a judge from the Turner Prize walked passed & pinned a badge on me. I have now made it to the finals and stand a reasonable chance of winning the £50,000 prize money. However they have told me that I can't move or the 'art' will be runined & be disqualifiedfrom the competition. I am now in urgent need of medical attention.
What should I do?
Fame, glory & riches or comfy hospital bed?
2006-08-17 23:08:00 · 23 answers · asked by ? 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Visual Arts ➔ Other - Visual Arts
Would suggest the hospital bed ... cover it in flowers and put a broom handle in between your bum cheeks .. two dead cows and a picture of a pineapple at the bed side ...oh and if you could collect the vomit in a small childs shoe as well
The call the Turner people .. tell them you have a new submission called 'Turkish demise'
You are now a given for the prize :)
2006-08-17 23:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by enzuigiriuk 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It does make me chuckle when people go out and get trashed drinking 8 pints of lager 4 jack daniels chasers 6 shots of aftershock a couple of WKD blues and cheap cocktails from 'that bar down the road' then blame the fact that they feel rubbish on the kebab they ate at the end of the evening having been in a few kebab shops and seen the state most of them are in i can see why people would jump to that conclusion, but i'm betting even if they didnt eat they kebab the binge drinking would have made them feel that way anyway lol. MODERATION PEOPLE lol
2006-08-18 06:27:53 · answer #2 · answered by xx_connor_uk_xx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buck up, lad. You're not a nancy boy, are you? Get your mates to bring you some more beer and a decent kebab. Stay there until you win the £50,000, then get home and clean yourself up.
2006-08-18 06:13:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to hospital. At least you won't have to meet the scummiest woman alive, Tracy Emin. She's got a face like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver on it. And I'm sure she's infectious.
2006-08-18 06:50:28 · answer #4 · answered by Scousebuster Bill 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HA HA so it was the kebabs fault, funny but its never the beer go to hospital I'm confident you can produce another masterpiece as soon as they let you out.
2006-08-19 21:04:02 · answer #5 · answered by keny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay here's what you do. Stay where you are and don't disturb the art work. Get someone to give a legally binding contract to leave me the money so you wouldn't have bitten the big one in vein.
2006-08-18 06:16:15 · answer #6 · answered by t-bomb 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you thought about dressing as a straw bear and wandering around the pubs begging for peanuts?
Planters Peanuts.
2006-08-18 06:21:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice post mate.... very good .... best thing to do is stay pissed , ask someone to get you some special brew... then put pencils up your nose and a pair of pants on your head and say " Wibble" to everyone that passes.... then sit back and wait for the "Men with a big floppy coat " to come along...
Happy Days.. ( hic.....hic....)
Going now ...my head hurts and the nurse is coming
2006-08-18 06:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fame and glory, sounds like you deserve to stay in your own mess for a time. lol
2006-08-18 06:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by Megs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and hang on for a bit, mate. With 50 grand you can afford to go private.....x
2006-08-18 06:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by JustineTime 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋