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Soon after graduating from highschool, about four years ago, I've fallen in love with my best friend. To this day, we're still good friends, and as the years have gone on, my feelings for her have only deepened. In that time, she's been married, had a daughter, and was divorced. She's currently in a relationship. I love her with all my heart, so I have to respect her choices. What's more, I know I'm not worthy of her love, though I'm working to improve myself. I've been on many dates over that same time period, but I've yet to find someone I really connect with. I feel like she's The One, and that if I pass her up, I'll never find anyone else. I don't want to find anyone else, but she doesn't love me. She cares for me as a friend, and lately we've been getting closer... but only as friends. This love I feel for her is eating me up inside, but I don't want to lose her. How can I move on and still keep that friendship?

2006-08-17 20:50:42 · 22 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships Friends

She doesn't know how I feel about her.

2006-08-23 22:02:34 · update #1

22 answers

maybe you should let her know that you have deeper feelings for her and let her know that if the feeling isn`t mutual that its ok and you will still want to be friends.. let her in on your secret..

2006-08-25 14:41:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Best thing to do is to stay connected with her. Keep loving her and being there for her. I'm assuming she knows how you feel and if not let her know. Just tell her that you'll always be there no matter what the situation is. I have had these same excact feelings over two guys...one was a childhood friend that I knew was the one for me but we both moved on and I know now we weren't meant to be together. Another was a guy from highschool. This was a little different because we loved eachother but quickly found out it was more of a brotherly sisterly kind of love. We went out and broke up because we were too close of friends. We never even kissed when we dated...weird...but enough about me....

2006-08-17 21:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 1 0

It's a good sign that you've been 'getting closer' - maybe she wants you to think she's 'only your friend' because she doesn't know how you feel & she's trying to tell you something? Have you told her you love her? Could it be she's waiting for you to make that first move? Her current relationship may not be serious. If she feels the same way, she may be reluctant to tell you in case you reject her. If you've been seeing others, she may well feel that you just want to be friends. Are you giving her the impression you're not worthy? That may make her hang back from you. Tell her how you feel, my friend, and ask her if there is any possibility you two could at least try a relationship. You may be pleasantly surprised - you never know, you might just turn into the King & Queen of Chalices! Good Luck.

2006-08-23 12:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by devildriver53 2 · 1 0

You are not being honest with her if she doesn't know how you feel about her.
Are you being honest with yourself?
True friends can talk about anything, including your feelings for each other.
I would suggest the following.
1 - tell her how you feel about her. Arrange to meet, as soon as possible, and just tell her.
Then listen very carefully to her response. At that point you can decide whether there is a chance of a romantic relationship, or no chance.
If there is a chance then tell her how you feel, every day.
If there is no chance then you have to modify your feelings.
Our feelings remain the same if we keep feeding them.
If we stop feeding them, then they die. If you need to change your feelings, then stop thinking about her all the time. Find something else to occupy your mind. The less you think about her, then the less strong your feelings will become. This will make space for you to have strong feelings about someone else.
Don't let things stay the way they are. It will meat you up. Take action now - today!!

2006-08-25 01:15:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Out of all the post only one person really presented you with your real problem: Your self-esteem. You yourself have to find out your own self-worth before you start any relationship with this woman. You need to realize first and foremost that you are unique, special, worthy of any love given to you. Until you do, you won't be able to be with this woman. If you do start a relationship with her, you will be miserable and you will make her miserable. You need to start the relationship in a healthy manner and that can only be started when you are confident in yourself. There is really no reason why you can't be with her other than for that reason alone. I suggest finding yourself.

2006-08-25 07:43:23 · answer #5 · answered by lilsis853 2 · 1 0

Well you cant help the way you feel... I think that you should spend time without her for a while and start your own path in life cuz you moving in her path as well as yours and it is confusing you... Just give her a call once in a while but the only way you going to get over this is if you get over the love you have for her which is hard... then come back when you can give her fhe friendship that she gives you...

2006-08-17 21:21:55 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole 1 · 0 0

There is always going to be one person in your lifetime that you truly connect with and they may even be the one. If you're fortunate enough, you end up being with them. If not, you may always wonder what could have been. I think that in your case, you should leave well enough alone. If you are really good friends then that should always be. You may find that if you pursue your feelings for her, she may reject those feelings and you may lose a friend. Think about it.

2006-08-24 08:32:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I have never gotten over my first love. I have 2 adult children now, and I still think of him everyday. I love my hubby with all my heart, and couldnt imagine life without him. But there is a very special place in my heart for my first love! So move on, and enjoy what life has instore for you. Dont miss out on a thing!!!

2006-08-23 18:18:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Friendship? It appears to me that the 2 of you have different agendas. You are trying to "hold on till the bitter end" and she keeps you as a safety net. Are you Gay? If not, get out of the way. If she is a friend, time will not erase it. Move on.

2006-08-17 20:58:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You need to
work on your self-esteem, of course your worthy of having love in your life.Your acting like your defeated before you even get started. Quit whining and march right over to her house and tell her how you feel. At least you will know where you stand.Life's to short to just sit back and wait.

2006-08-25 01:25:47 · answer #10 · answered by jean 4 · 1 0

Your not going to find anyone else because everyone you go out with your thinking about your friend and comparing the to. Come on you know your not even trying to find someone. You have to say something.

2006-08-25 09:33:40 · answer #11 · answered by robert d 4 · 1 0

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