Help, I have a 15 yr old daughter apple of my eye really sweet, kind & she has not had a close relationship with her Dad, (we are divorced) Dad has suddenly appeared in her life giving her wrong values overly materialistic buying her a cellphone & IPOD& telling her to lie about having them. Long story short he is undoing all my parenting & now my child has chosen to live with him and has no contact with me as she says I am mean since I won't overindulge her. She has 2 older siblings 19 & 21 who have tried to speak to her and their Dad to no avail. He is setting her up for ruin. Court did not help as she is able to choose where she lives and as a teen she chose where there are few rules and no discipine. Her grades are dropping and her Dad takes no responsibility & says the school is making too much of grades and is being unfair to her. Will she ever grow up & return to our home where me & her siblings live & realize she needs to be back in our home home? Heartbroken and Shattered Mom
2006-08-17 19:02:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I felt sad after reading your story. It's sad knowing that your ex-husband buys her love through materials things. But I do believe that what you have taught and instilled in her is still there, no matter what. She may not be able to understand what you are feeling right now. But I belive that a time will come that she will seek her mother's love. Just be strong for her. You're lucky that her siblings are still there to give her advise.
2006-08-17 19:36:54 · answer #1 · answered by jen_good girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm truly sorry. I can empathize well with your situation. The only words of comfort I can give you is that you know the changes kids go through from the ages of 15 to 21. Just be prepared, what starts as rebellion usually turns into a desire for rules. Just keep having her sisters explain that love and rules go hand and hand, they are not exclusive and that indulgence is usually caused from self-interest. It's obvious that the father is trying to buy her affection after being gone so long, but it's a false affection. In time she will see that. Let them go through some trials and tribulations as I'm sure you and her have. Just stand back (as hard as it is) and let the situation really come to light for her. She will be back someday.. but I won't lie and say it will probably be soon. Just keep loving her as you have, but from a distance. And as hard as it is, learn to love her in her current situation and let your life continue moving on. Find the happiness that is certainly somewhere in your new life.
2006-08-17 19:11:32 · answer #2 · answered by wldathrt77 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Believe me, there are a lot of people in the same situation and I hope that I never have to go through what you are right now!
Just keep trying and hope that your love and caring will bring her back and maybe deep down inside she wants her "MOMMY!" I hope she sees things as they really are and goes back to you! You are her mother and I think that if all your good parenting has taught her anything, she will miss that and want the security of your love to keep her happy and safe!
I could go on and on, but you know what I am saying....Have faith that you did your job and she will recognize that, after the novelty of freedom and liberties wears off!
2006-08-17 19:23:45 · answer #3 · answered by *ღ♥۩ THEMIS ۩♥ღ* 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
one day, she will realize what is really going on, and then she will come to you and be sorry. how ever long it takes her, be paient with her as right now, if you push her, it will only push her away. I used to never get along with my mom, and now that I look back at it, I know that she was right. One of these days, she will look back and see that he did not really love her, but wanted to own her to make you mad. I wish you the best of luck, and hope she wakes up soon
2006-08-17 19:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She'll get tired of it soon enough. Her dad cannot buy her love. She'll wisen up to him, right now he is pleasing her, sooner or later he will slip and it will be all over. Patience. Things will start getting stressful for her and she will realize where home truly is!
2006-08-17 19:09:55 · answer #5 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell your husband off. Smack him for horrible parenting. Smack your daughter for being so stupid. And knock some sense into both of them. (Any way you choose should work!.)
COMMUNICATION is the key. But if your parenting was as good as you say, you should have no trouble working that out.
2006-08-17 19:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by better.than.you. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow umm try telling her that if she lives with u that maby give her a little more fredom but she reallt needs to focus in school maby ur older siblings can work things out wow i am sorry that is really tough i widh i could help
2006-08-17 19:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
in teenage childrens might attract to freedom , he is giving her the freedom that why this happens my suggestion is if you can afford give him a little freedom and try to fullfill her need may be they are undue ,behave him like a friend , i wish she will be back to you soon , also do not overreact to situation
2006-08-17 19:28:40 · answer #8 · answered by Vineet S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love her. there is not much else you can do
2006-08-17 19:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋