his spouse found out that we had an affair n now he said we have to separate for a while. we had promised not to separate no matter what but y is this happens. each of us are married with kids and wkg in the same environment. now i'm confussed and really missed him a lot. i really luv him too much. can't eat or sleep well. i felt like crying each time when thinking of him. for a week we have not see each other.
2006-08-17 18:54:30 · 19 answers · asked by hai s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DON'T DO THE CRIME IF YOU CAN'T DO THE TIME!
ARE YOU SURE SHE FOUND OUT AND THAT'S WHY HE'S BACKING OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP?
MAYBE HE'S JUST DONE WITH YOU AND SAYS THAT TO GET YOU TO LEAVE HIM ALONE WITHOUT THE CONFRONTATION!
THINK ABOUT IT !
2006-08-17 18:59:48 · answer #1 · answered by Candy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling first of all this whole situation is ungodly. Why are the both of you still married to your spouses if you really want to be together? Is it for convience? Both you and he deserve better. You took vows. Do you know what it means when asked Till Death Do Part? This is serious. Why do people get married and they know they are just going to be cheating while they are married. Now you two have history togther. So now it would be even harder to break off this relationship. If you love this man so much and he loves you, then you both need to be honest with your spouses and get a divorce. Why hurt them? What did they ever do to deserve this. Honey if he loved you so much he would not have said he had to separate from you for a while. If he loved you soo much, when the two of you were found out, he would've used that as a good time to get a divorce from his wife. Don't you two care that you are tearing down 2 families, children and your husband and his wife. Stop sleeping with that woman's husband.. How would you really like it if you found out your husband had someone on the side? Would it hurt you? Break your heart? Well in all honesty, your husband may have somebody on the side. It would be just what you deserve. What actually needs to happen is that your husband and his wife need to divorce the two of you all and get together themselves. How would you like that???? You don't know anything about love. Love doesn't hide in secret. Love is not hurtful and deceitful. Which is what you two participate in. Don't mistake love with lust darling or infatuation. Which is obviously what you have.
GOD BLESS.
2006-08-17 19:06:27 · answer #2 · answered by Tonya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to have to say this, but don't be so fvcking self-centered! You both had affairs together and you somehow think it's appropriate for you to still see each other??? Besides all this, you probably don't love this guy nearly so much as you love some idealized vision you have created of him. It's so easy to look perfect when you don't have to argue about the kids, the bills, or the house work. The real key here is not how desperately in love with this guy you are, but how little you care about your husband and kids. If you don't get your sh1t together, you're gonna have to tell your kids one day "Sorry mommy destoryed your lives, but she just couldn't keep it in her pants." Right now, you are being monumentally selfish and lazy, get yourself back on track before you destroy your life and the lives of everybody you touch.
2006-08-17 19:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you allow yourself to get mixed up in things like this. If you are married - you are married. There are not short cuts or easy way out. Should you think that you do not love your partners, than the only decent thing to do, is to let them know and not to sneak around. Marriage is never easy and by your cheating on your marriage, is not going to help one bit.
I am sorry to be so harsh, however, I have no compassion for anyone who cheats on their spouse - male or female. If you think you no longer love one another, talk it out and go your separate ways. It is not going to help if you get involved and get into a mess like this. Just put yourself in your spouse's shoes, what would you have done if you found out that your husband had a mistress?? - Think about it and I just hope that you will do the right thing - whatever the right thing is for you.
2006-08-17 19:03:06 · answer #4 · answered by aew2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be strong and leave him. You are destroying two families if you are continuing this relationship. Be responsible to your family. You are married and keep your marriage vows. If you think you are feeling depress now, what about his wife? She is bonded to him by marriage and has his kids, she will feel 10 times more depressed than you are. Love is not about yourself, its about giving. You cant build your happiness by destroying others. That is unethical.
I had an affair with a married man before and it drove me crazy cos i am filled with guilt. Each time when we are together, I can only think about his kids and his spouse. Eventually I ended it even though he is the only man that I ever has feelings....
2006-08-17 19:20:56 · answer #5 · answered by Blissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grief! How do you people get yourselves into this kind of mess?
You are kidding yourself if you think he will leave his wife for you. By his actions alone, it looks like you're about to become history as he's obviously bothered by his conscience enough to work it out with his wife. That is why he told you he wants to separate from you for a while. Learn to accept the fact that you were just a passing fancy. His wife is still number 1 to him. Secondly, instead of worrying about him why don't you worry about your own kids and your own marriage and find out why it's not working between you and your husband that you feel so compelled to look for another. Do you realize how many people you're hurting here? If his wife divorced him because of his affair with you, what about their kids? If your husband finds out and divorces you, what about your kids? Move on with your life and take care of your own family!
2006-08-17 19:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he was the first one to realize that you both are commiting a sin and a crime as well for having engaged in that illicit affair...wake up and be thankful that this happened before your spouse and family have come to know it...this is your chance to do things in the right perspectives ...love your husband more that is the only way...and think about your childrens's welfare, if you have any...
2006-08-17 19:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by chona a 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOt that i approve of the circumstances, but i am not going to lecture you on your choices. Having that person that you love away for any period of time is hard. What you have to ask yourself is: Do you really love him or the excitement of it all? and Is it worth tearing apart two families for? If You're saying yes to both then you should be ending your marriage and your lover's marriage and make a commitment to each other. If he's not ready to do that then he is not worth it. You can't string along your family... it'll only get harder with time. And If he feels he can't leave his family for you, I doubt he feels as strongly towards you. I know it sucks
AS far as getting through the pain now, it'll get better with time and then it'll get worse when you least expect it. And then it will get better again. Your dreams will likely betray you and you'll wake up depressed but trust me on this... It'll be one hell of a rollercoaster ride but at the end you will survive it and be able to move on, whether it be with your husband or your lover. You can't have both.
2006-08-17 19:13:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its for the best since you both are Married and have Famillies you do remember your Husband and Family right well that should be your main focus right now not another woman's Husband who isnt going to just stop cheating have you taken the time to think that maybe she didnt find out about the affair maybe just maybe he's replaced you with a new play mate so stop stressing yourself about him and move on and work on your Marriage and keep your Family together.
2006-08-17 19:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks bad to miss somebody, but take this opportunity to end a situation that you shouldn't have been in, in the first place. It's going to end eventually and the longer you're invovled, the harder it will be, and the more people it will hurt. So even though it hurts now, consider it a good thing in the long run.
2006-08-17 19:06:35 · answer #10 · answered by secondopinion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is common. Hang on to the problem and you will have a lifetime of heartache and misery.
Join clubs, go to dances, smile at good prospects, take a night class, wear perfume, look as cheerful as possible. Stay away from him. There is no future in it. There are plenty more out there that can take his place.
2006-08-17 19:04:11 · answer #11 · answered by syrious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋