Honest answers about men?

Question

Is it true that a man is on his best behavior before you get married? Do men change alot once they get hitched? Do bad habits become worse? And if they used to have bad habits is it likely they'll revert to them once youre married awhile? Im just wondering because Ive heard alot of people say how things always get much worse once theyre married.

Answer 1

I believe people change. I know I have. A lot of people make the mistake of marrying someone then thinking they can change them or their habits to their own liking. The reality is that you can't change someone unles they want to change. If you can't accept someone for who they are, with all their faults, you need to think about being with them.

Answer 2

01. Give people more than they expect, and do it cheerfully.
02. Memorize your favorite poem.
03. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
04. When you say "I love you" - mean it.
05. When you say "I'm sorry" look the person in the eye.
06. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
07. Believe in love at first sight.
08. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
09. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your mom.
16. Say "Bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
22. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any others.
23. Spend some time alone.
24. Open your arms to change but don't let go of your values.
25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
26. Read more books and watch less TV.
27. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
28. Trust in God but lock your car.
29. Do all you can to create a tranquil, harmonious home?
30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
31. Read between the lines.
32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
33. Be gentle with the Earth.
34. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.
35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
36. Mind your own business.
37. Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss.
38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
41. Learn the rules, then break some.
42. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Answer 3

To be honest with u.. i have what i call the six month rule.. as far as dating..everyone both men and women put on their best behavior when they first start dating someone, some start showing the real them right away some take up to 6 months.. but usually no longer then 6 months, if a guy opens the car door for u from day one and is still doing it 6 months later usually its pretty accurate to say thats just how he is.. Men and women both change once they move in with each other, their little habits and quirks seem to come out once they get comfortable with the other.. after marriage, alot of couples fall into a routine, and tends to become boring, and just content..to the point where it becomes aggrivating, but it doesnt mean that its going to fail, just means that either u need to spice things up some, or live with it.. most bad habits dont take years to show their ugly head, just till that person feels comfortable..could be a couple months, could be a year.. after they move in with u.. but usually the 6 month rule applys there as well once the newness of moving in with each other is gone. the real u, and the real them comes out for the most part.. the only difference a marriage license really makes if u've lived with that person prior to getting married, is even when ur living together people tend to put on some kind of front , for fear that the other may leave so theres still a part of them thats being careful.. so after they are married, they feel the securness in just being them.. but usually its not a huge difference, just a slight one from how they were prior to the marriage license.. although there are the few cases that say an abuser will be wonderful till he feels he has u trapped by a marriage license.. but usually they slip up some where prior and showed their ugly head and that person decided to ignore it when they had the chance to get out..

Answer 4

More or less, that is correct in a way. A man is most definitely on his best behavior before you get married because he wants to impress you and he wants to marry you. Once they get hitched, he knows you'll love him and he'll just change and you'll still love him for who he is. Bad habits definitely become worse if you don't put a step on the pedal. Bad habits aren't likely to be reverted once you're married because habits take a long time to change since it's inveterate for a long time. Things are always worse once they're married. Marriage is a risky thing, every step makes a difference. For instance, if your husband yells at you for some thing, you'll yell back and all. The yelling lasts for a while and once it comes up again, you guys start fighting. Fighting isn't always the best way to live in a marriage. You need a man who'll stay the way he is forever, that's why you love him... you love him for who he is. :)

Answer 5

I am sure that there are cases where your statement is true. However, I contend that your scenario is the exception rather than the norm.

There is a saying that goes something like:

"Women marry men expecting them to change; and men marry women expecting them to never change; and they are both wrong. Men don't change and women are always changing"

There is also a saying that goes something like: "God and his mom made him and no woman will ever change him"

I tend to basically agree with these statements. Sure, everyone's behaviors evolve as they grow older so there will always be some sort of change, but the mans thought process, belief system and his overall disposition never really changes.

It makes absolutely no sense at all for a man to present a false perception of himself just so he can get married. Sure, I can imagine it happening, but why in the world a man would do that is beyond me? What a completely stupid thing to do! Once again, I am positive that this behavior is the exception not the norm. Why in the world would a man put on a show in order to get married? Obviously, anyone, man or woman, who would do this has serious mental issues and needs hardcore psychiatric help. This just makes no sense at all, but, once again, I know it happens, both ways.

Although, like I have mentioned above, I am sure there are many scenarios like the one you described above, it is just not the norm. Honestly, normal men don't have this crazy desire to get married at all costs, including becoming something they are not just to do so. Furthermore, how many men out there do you believe are savy enough to pull off an act like that for as long as it takes to meet someone, get engaged and get married?

I wish you the best.

Answer 6

You have only heard the womans side of this one. Men never change; women just don't KNOW them before they get married.
It's that simple.
Women think, (for some reason that truly escapes me), that dating should last forever, and ever, and ever. WHEN does the dating ever stop, for God's sake? From a man's perspective once he gives the vow to honor, love, blah, blah, he feels that it is time to get on with life. Just because the flowers and romantic moonlight walks stop does NOT mean he doesn't love you anymore. Every woman on earth seems to think this way. The man who protects his wife and children, works, builds a home and secure life and would, literally, stand between his wife and a bullet, no longer loves you because there is no more 'romance'. Give me a damn break -- when do any of us have time for that crap with a home, job and family? It never fails -- women get emotional, sad, yearning for the days they were the princess and before you know it they are in the sack with another man just for the attention and the turmoil it produces.
Do yourselves a favor --- learn about each other BEFORE marriage.

Answer 7

My man has always been pretty much the same...he was a little jealous in the beginning but he got over that when he figured out I wasn't going anywhere. I think he actually got better the longer we we've been together. We do everything together. Pretty much inseparable. Some men do change...some women do too...I'm thankful mine didn't. The best thing to do is be in a really long relationship. Get to know the person. We were actually friends a long time before we got involved. We hung out together and stuff.

Answer 8

Marriage is a relationship which involves both a woman and a man. You cannot go into marriage looking for the faults in the one you want to marry. Marriage does not work if both are not equal partners who want to open up and understand each other. That takes great communication.
True it is that most marriages end in divorce these days. But that can be avoided if both spouses work hard with each other.
Men like to be respected and loved. We are simple creatures... Women like to be respected as well, they also like to be clean, organized, and beautiful before their husbands.
As for bad habits...they die hard and will often become worse. They are like a point of escape for people who don't know how to communicate in tough spots. Things will get worse if you want them to. But if both the man and the woman talk about things regularly with each other and work as a team to accomplish lifes goals things will work out. There are a lot of successful marriages in the world. Look to those for your example instead of looking to the bad ones. "Learn from mistakes but live according to the well behaved" is my philosophy.

Answer 9

Men and women both are on their best behavior before. And yes men change just like women. Women are looking for long term emotional bonding with husband and kids and often forget about the other pleasures of life or I should say other pleasures take a back seat to other things so both change.

Answer 10

Thats a load of crap. Most of the time, men are how they will be until they die and woman need to pay attention to all that while they are getting to know someone.

Of course, when a man is courting a girl, they do go to the extremes to win their love and once they have it, they tend to look for other things to "hunt" and conquor. That is how most men think and the challenge is to keep them putting in the same amount of effort maintaining the relationship as the put in to start with. Marriage is work, no matter how you slice it. But worth it, oh ya, very worth it.