My ex & I started dating in mid-January of this year. I went away to school in February, & we stayed together for a while, but the distance between the two of us & his insecurities led to us having a relationship with "no-title". I've recently moved back home after receiving my degree, & we have indefinitely broken up. I attempted to date a person at my school a few months back, but it literally lasted for two days before I realized how in love with my ex I was. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than I already had, so I decided to stay single until I figured myself out. We still see each other, & have hooked up since I've been home, but he says he's too hurt by what happened between the two of us to ever consider getting back together with me. I care about him deeply, & don't know how to approach this. I love him. I want to be with him. I can't do the random hook-up thing with him, because it hurts far too much. I've explained this to him, but nothing has changed. Any ideas?
2006-08-17 18:24:50 · 14 answers · asked by Squishy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As far as him being hurt... he was hurt that I dated this guy from my school, even though it lasted only two days. We made things unofficial at the end of May, but would still see each other on weekends. He still called me his girlfriend and everything, and still told me he loved me. He recently found out that I had gone to a few parties without him and had hooked up with an old flame from my past; that, combined with the guy from my school, really sent him over the edge. Angry phone calls calling me a whore and accusing me of cheating on him (which I clearly wasn't) and telling me to commit suicide because I was worthless... that sort of thing.
2006-08-17 18:45:30 · update #1
Lay the cards on the table for him. Tell him that the hook-ups aren't going to happen unless you two are in a relationship. If he was really so hurt, he wouldn't be able to do the random hook-ups with you. Tell him that you love him and that he needs to get over himself.
2006-08-17 18:35:17 · answer #1 · answered by mytreacheryiseternal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will tell. Stay away from random hook-ups with exes because they just tend to be a guy's method of getting off minus the complications of a relationship, whereas girls tend to do them because they're still holding on to a possibility of a relationship.
For now, you made a good decision to stay single for a while to figure yourself out. Maybe you'll move on during this time and can date again. Don't be scared to date again.
2006-08-17 18:32:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anastasia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship requires two people, so if he is not willing to be involved with you, its time for you to move on. Probably not what you want to hear, I know, but its the truth.
You definitely shouldn't continue to see him or hook up with him, because that will make things harder. You should find something (or someone) else to fill your time for a while, so that you are not constantly thinking about him, and you are continuing to move on with your life outside the relationship. After a while, you will begin to move on, and will be less dependent on him and on the relationship. Eventually, you will be able to see him without getting hurt and be able to date other people.
If you are lucky, after some time has passed, you may be able to work things out. But right now, if he doesn't want any kind of relationship with you, it is not healthy for either of you to be together, and you can't force things to work out. You just have to go on with your life and see what happens.
2006-08-17 18:33:03 · answer #3 · answered by aroybal854 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to be completely honest, if I were him, The thing that would be driving me crazy and making it so I wouldn't want to get back with you is the thought that maybe you slept with someone else. Not saying you did, but that idea can drive a man crazy. You don't want that. Crazy men can be good men that do bad things because they lost the ability to rationalize. Not sure what happened between the two of you, but its probably better to just walk away. And don't hook up with him anymore. Just makes it worse.
2006-08-17 18:38:34 · answer #4 · answered by three6ty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, I seriously doubt he was TOO HURT. I think he's just playing on you so he can place blame and make you feel bad. Also he probably has someone else going on. Its his way of getting back because he knows it hurts you. If this is the kind of guy you want then maybe you have a problem. Leave him alone, get on with your life. If he feels as you do, he'll come around on his own. If not, your better off anyway.
2006-08-17 18:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are able to no longer exchange a guy. you are able to no longer fix him, you are able to no longer stop him from doing stupid issues. All you're able to do is shop your self. He would have had a foul previous, yet he's the only one that makes a decision his destiny. The abuse is purely an excuse to abuse you. you do no longer deserve that! on occasion, you purely would desire to do whats right for you. And with the aid of the sounds of it this relationship isn't. Do you relatively need to waste your life attempting to repair something that's no longer fixable? there is no longer something incorrect with him. If he grew up with that kind of abuse it relatively is all he's ever generic. you are able to no longer exchange what he's, you may regulate it yet no exchange. it relatively is no longer very well worth the fights. purely think of how the fights are making it extra stable for him and you. purely be careful and don't make any errors ok? i'm hoping you come across happiness as properly as him, notwithstanding if it relatively is no longer with one yet another. -amy
2016-10-02 05:49:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you tell him how you feel one more time and put it in a now or never context. the point is that you need closure. As you said, the no title dating doesn't suit you because it is neither here nor there. you need closure or some label for your relationship with him that will remain unchanged, like friend or boyfriend. don't settle for the grey area, you need to finalize it and move on.
2006-08-17 18:32:10 · answer #7 · answered by Crzy_dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Squishy; let me tell you that you are an educated,smart girl and I can tell you that its your FIRST real relationship with a guy who has(insecurity issues!!).You have a degree now and you should try and find a more stable educated man that has similarities like you.Squishy you have a good start in life now;you should try and choose a STABLE,confident,good looking guy who doesn't have "ISSUES" you know.What do you think?
2006-08-17 18:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by Tall in Luv M8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit HOOKING UP with him, the more you give him the more he'll take from you. act like you don't care.....it'll drive him crazy...leave him alone for a few days and give him time to miss you.everytime you think you want to call him find something to do....before you know it more and more time will have past and you will actually be able to survive without this jerk using you all the time... robbing you of your self esteem...you deserve better!!
2006-08-17 18:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by CINDI MCK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice is to either talk to him and work out wether or not there is ever a chance of u resolving thing and moving on as a couple and putting the past behind you or you need to move on yourself, it is not doing either of u any good leaving it unresolved so spill your heart and if he feels the same well good but if he doesnt oh well there plenty more great catches out there go fish!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-17 18:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by slippery seal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋