If you are a female and only date other females and classify with being a lesbian?

Question

Why does there have to be a label placed on oneself, and why do most female/female relationship end up being a femine and more butch/manly looking type? If your a femine type of a gal, and your into a manly looking woman, why not be with a MAN, or better yet why couldn't you just be a female dating female.... where no one takes on a distinction?

Answer 1

Yeah!!!!

Answer 2

As a lesbian I am attracted to the body and soul of a person. The bodies and souls that draw me belong to women. Taking away a mans genitalia does not make him a woman any more than changing the genitalia on a woman makes her a man. The mind and soul will remain as they were, which explains transgender - they have the soul of one gender and the physical body of another so changing their physical mearly makes their outside fit their soul and mind. Anyway, as a lesbian I wish to be an individual, I don't have to conform to anyone elses idea of what a woman is. Neither do I demand that of a partner, the more comfortable she is with herself the better she will be at sharing that self whether it be feminine, androgenous or butch. Lesbian relationships are not always about the femme and butch, these are the ones that are obvious and you would notice. There are all combinations of relationships and rarely is one "the man" or "the woman" in a relationship.
Ours are mostly built on equality and balance, we try to compliment each others strengths and weaknesses because noone expects us to behave any certain way. You have likely seen all the diffenent combinations and just assumed that they were not lesbians because of how they dressed, behaved, who they were with or you assumed that they were 'butch' lesbians pal'ing around while away from their fems. You can't know, you are not there and each relationship is different. Labels are rediculous in any situation but they are used in this situation to help other not to fear what they don't understand.

Answer 3

You have several questions here. People put labels on other people because it makes them feel like they understand. Many people are uncomfortable with ideas they don't understand. Re you question about manly looking woman, why not be with a MAN? Because looking manly and being a male is not the same thing. And maybe sometimes it is because it is the person inside and not what she looks like is the attraction. You seem confused between what someone looks like vs what gender that person is and assuming that all attraction is based on looks instead of other attributes.

Answer 4

people have this obsession with categorizing, labeling, or putting everything in nice, neat little boxes. somehow I guess that's their way of learning or understanding.
unfortunately, this labeling is mostly stereotyping. I've met straight women who were pretty butch and straight men who were kinda femme. regardless of how one "looks" a lesbian is still attracted to a women, no matter how femme/butch she might be. it has nothing to do with wanting to be with a MAN. if we wanted to be with men, we'd be straight. this question is repeated in some shape or form in these forums all the time....it does get quite tiresome.

Answer 5

I think it's hard to have a relationship in which power is shared equally. That's why one person will always win the majority of fights and will be the top the dog. Because men traditionally hold the power in families, any girl who tries to play that role is seen as being masculine.

Why a girl who plays the lesser would desire a girl who plays the greater is not really clear to me. I think it has to do with sexuality and experience growing up. Some girls grow up in situations that condition them to hate men.

Answer 6

it's a myth that lesbians always revert to the butch/femme pattern. it is simply untrue. there are many butch/femme couples, but there are also butch/butch couples and femme/femme couples. it is really irrelevant. it's just what they like. butch women need love, too, and there are many women who are attracted to them. the main thing about lesbianism is there not being an actual man around. they don't *want* a man. they don't want a penis, they want vagina, and breasts. they want a partner who knows what it's like to be a woman, however misunderstood. a butch woman is a butch woman, not a fake man.

Answer 7

well, there's kind of a major difference between a manly looking woman and a man. no doubt, the majority will know what that is.

as for the female dating a female, does she do this exclusively or does she sometimes date males. then we get into some kind of bi area.

and now ...
i'm confused.

Answer 8

Why do people always assume that if you date a girl who looks like a guy, you should just date a man? It's not about what she looks like. I dress like a guy, act like a guy-but I don't want to be with a guy, I enjoy being a female. and my girl enjoys me being a female she doesn't want to be with a guy.

Answer 9

that's what i've been wondering-- i'm straight but i always wondered if a woman wants a woman why not be with a womanly woman? i wouldn't want a female that looks like a man if i decided i wanted to date females!!! the whole point is to get away from men, isn't it?

Answer 10

its all about personal preferance, maybe some women like the outside apperance of a man but like the emotions and feelings of a women. The sex it much better too!! ;) trust me I know!! I love my butch

Answer 11

I lived with my only partner most of our adult lives. but was away when she tragically died from a virulent cancer. Her family claimed her body and buried it in their church's private plot. When I was able to visit, the stone bore only her date of birth and UNKNOWN TO GOD. A family member warned me to stay away saying "You're lesbian? No, you're lessthannothing" and never knew how close she came to a serious injury.
I do not know if I am masculine and frankly my dear, I don't give a stout rodent's fundament.
Rose P.