My wife had an affair and acts like its no big deal.?

Question

Why is it so easy for women to just turn off there love like a light switch? I found out today she was having an affair and she keeps telling me to just "get over it" and "it was just sex" What do I do? I am steaming with jealousy and I dont know what to do. Should I leave?? If I leave I plan to take our son, she will keep our daughter and we will do the divorced parent thing. Should I give marriage counseling a try?? Is it worth 100 bucks an hour??? Is she even worth giving a chance after the fourth affair? I love my family and desperatly want to keep our family together. Can anyone relate??

Answer 1

Her response to you was "get over it?" She sounds like a heartless b*tch. And this is her 4th affair? Once is enough for me. Well, in simple terms, you have 2 choices, 1. Stay with a woman who is chronically unfaithful for the sake of the kids but at the expense of you ,or 2. Seperate which will be difficult for everyone but you have a chance at finding someone whos not as selfish.
Good luck, sorry man...

Answer 2

Do what my friend did?? They fell out of love for each other but didn't want to get a divorce for the kids sake. Divorce is hard on the kids. They need a stable environment with two parents...So what they did was talked it over and they started an open marriage. They got separate bedrooms and gave the kids some story about dad has to get his rest to work better because mom moves too much or something like that, and they date other people away from the house and town. They take turns leaving for the weekend. When the kids graduate from school and go off to college, they plan to either get a divorce or just leave it the way it is. They have a business that would cause a big problem in the divorce settlement so I bet they just stay the way they are...dude, you need to do the same. forget the $100.00 for counseling... I bet when your wife sees you with another woman,she will change, if she doesn't then she just down right doesn't love you so keep on dating....

Answer 3

Firstly, marriage counseling for100 bucks an hour is very expensive. But if u hold a large income, it may still be worth it.
2nd, the forth time is really too much. She is likely to have a fifth affair or sixth, maybe you didn't know yet
3rd, if she behaves 'okay' at home, it may still be worth carrying the family thing together, just don't interfer with her enternal affairs for the sake of family and kids.
4th, whiles she has made it clear to you, it means that you can have a relationship too. maybe its time get a younger gal or a fling. See if she gets jealoused. Just don't bring your affair matters home. She can know, but don't let the kids
The pain of the divorce is u have to leave one of ur kid right? So bear with the pros and cons before making a decision. Don't decide on impulse! Get a good lawyer to prepare you. Consult his legal advise. It may not be that you'll have to lose both as its her fault for having so many affairs in the first place. So its still possible keeping it all still togther...

Answer 4

Dude, this is her FOURTH affair??? I understand wanting to keep your family together but you need to move on, get a divorce, and find someone that loves and respects you more than to just CONTINUALLY cheat on you. Screw counselling...it's too late for that. If she made the mistake of cheating once, I could understand giving her a second chance, but four times....give her the boot. Of course, still be a father, include your children on the decision of where they want to live or do a joint custody type thing ....I can tell you REALLY love your children to be sticking this thing out and keep your family together, but, is it worth a life of unhappiness for you? Is it fair for her to do this and your children see you suffer through if for their sake? I hope you do the right thing and see that in the long run, you're better off without someone like her.

Good luck, bro.

Answer 5

I would give marriage counselling a try. Maybe it'll open up her eyes to how much this hurt you. It may be $100 an hour, but hey, divorces are rather pricey. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll know that you've tried everything.

Is she still seeing this man? If she acts like it's no big deal, there's something wrong with her. I kissed another man that wasn't my boyfriend and I felt horrible; I still do.

And don't worry, not all women just turn off their love like a light switch. And it's not just women who do this either, you know.

Answer 6

ok im not the perfect person to actually answer this but im going to give you the best advice i can. You said this is the fourth time that she has had an affair? Ok i could see if you forgave her after she did it once but four times thats really an indication that she thinks your NOT going to walk out on her and gives her the grounds to keep repeating it because its almost as if you are doing this for you children. Dont stay for your children its very obvious that she doesnt care if you guys are a family or not if she did she wouldnt be out cheating on you instead she would be at home tending to your children and spending time with them. If i was you i would actually file for a divorce and in doing so file for a broken home you would get your children. Dont waste any more time with her shes going to keep doing it as long as you let her.

Answer 7

You should see an attorney yesterday. Forget counseling. She has no respect for you, for herself, or your children. And having come from a similar childhood household????? Let me tell you, the two of you staying together is doing HORRIFIC damage to your children as well as to yourself. She's done this 4 times and you're still there....not good. They deserve a peaceful home and they deserve to be with a parent who gives a crap about them - and your wife obviously doesn't. And you sir, deserve a decent woman who knows what love is. This heifer is clueless about that topic.
1)See an attorney ASAP
2)File for sole custody of both children and specify "no overnight guests during visitation" in your divorce decree, and if she disobeys - have her visitation revoked
3)Make sure the skanky ho pays child support
4)After you and your kids are in a peaceful home, try not to talk about her...they are half her and it will just make them wonder if they are worthless too...they know what she is, you don't have to point it out
5)Some families are not meant to stay together. I'm so sorry, but you and your children have been through enough hell. It's time for it to stop.
I wish you the best and will be thinking of your family!

Answer 8

Since it's apparent that you still have the desire to work on your marriage, you may give marriage counseling a try and see what happens. Keep in mind that your wife has done this 4 times. She's a grown woman who should've known the consequences of her actions. I believe that no amount of counseling will change her mind and attitude unless she wants to change. The question here is do you want to give your marriage another try? Are you willing to put up with constantly having to wonder if she'll do this again? I know you want to keep your family together but you will have to live with the consequences of your choice. It's up to you.

Answer 9

Once a person cheats they will continue to cheat. Your best bet is to get out and take both of the kids with you. If not she is going to teach your daughter that cheat ans multiple men are OK. Do you really want that for your daughter? Don't get joint custody get sole custody with her getting supervised visits( so her men wont be there). Do it now because the longer you wait the more your kids will feel the tension and will make the divorce worse. Your children should be your number one concern now. Counseling may help but by the way she is belittling you, it wont last that long and she will go back to her old ways. Hope this helps!

Answer 10

You may love your family but she does not. She has no respect for you or your feelings. You need to get away from this woman. This will doubtless suit her and I suspect that she is pushing you to do just that with her affairs. Come to some amicable arrangement about the children and then just get away from her. Counseling is useful if both partners are committed to making a relationship work. She clearly is not.