Fiance insists on prenup but still wants to talk about money matters.?

Question

My fiance has asked me to sign a prenup and I have expressed my dissatisfaction with it, not because I am a gold digger, but because I just feel that if you love someone and want to marry them you've gotta trust them enough that they would do the right thing by you even if something went wrong like divorce - I would not be unfair and take what was not mine to start with.

Anyway, I have agreed to sign it basically just to shut him up, however now, he keeps on wanting to talk to me about his finances and his money and the best ways for him to avoid paying extra tax etc. I feel very annoyed because he doesn't trust me enough to not have a prenup but still wants to chit chat about his money concerns. What should I say to him?

Answer 1

I love how people with money that insist on prenups always say the "if you love me and we're going to be together forever, I don't see why we can't have a prenup---it'll prove that you're marrying me for love". Yeah, and you're marrying me for my low I.Q. I wouldn't have signed the prenup b/c it's like he's saying you're not going to be together forever, so he wants his a$$ covered. If he insists that your finances be separate, tell him to take his financial questions to an accountant or a financial planner b/c he hurt your feelings by showing that his pocketbook is more important than your future marriage. A marriage is a partnership and a joining of two people and everything they are. You can't be selfish if you want a healthy marriage and he's shown you that he is selfish. When you say that "what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours", you essentially have to keep your finances separate after you're married and it's kind of hard to have a partnership when you're keeping something separate from your partner. Tell him to take his money talks elsewhere because they don't concern you. Sorry he's being a putz.

Answer 2

Your fiance is doing the smart thing by getting a prenup. Statistically, most marriages will end in divorce, and you don't know how you would react in the situation. What if you have bought a $1 million house by then? Even if niether of you is going to try to cheat the other, you may just see things differently when the time comes. (i.e. one of you may think you are entitled to more because the kids live with you more often, etc) It's good to clear things up beforehand, when there is no animosity and you guys can talk things out calmly.
There is nothing bad that can come from signing a prenup and lots of bad things that can come from not signing it. Your fiance is trying to make sure that (heaven forbid) the marriage doesn't work out, the two of you can maintain as civil a relationship as possible without fighting about money, etc. It's not a trust issue, so stop trying to punish him for doing the smart thing. If he didn't trust you he wouldn't marry you in the first place.
If you don't want to be involved in his finances now, then perhaps you shouldn't be getting married. He obviously has far more financial sense. After all, you are the one who is talking about this marriage lasting forever, and yet you don't want to be a part of a major part of his life (finances) because of a small disagreement right now? You can't blame him for being cautious if you are willign to separate yourself from his life already over something so insignificant.

Answer 3

whoa! whoa! whoa! I certainly hope you took it to YOUR lawyer before you signed it.

You can't predict the future. For instance, lets say he became a Dr, and wanted you to stay home and you did for the next 20 years, then got divorce. The clothes or furniture you walked into the home 20 years ago is now GONE. According to some prenups, you would not even get the clothing on your back because he made all the money. No home, no furniture, you are out on the streets, no working skills, you have no pension or retirement fund, etc...He doesn't seem like the type that would give you a weekly allowance for you to stock away. Sorry, you DID work and DO need compensation!!! A homemaker is extremely important (ask any Widower with young children at home how much his wife was worth)

Unless the guy is a millionaire, and is coming into the marriage with millions then I cant see a prenup. Please consult a diverse lawyer if you have or will sign one. IMHO this is one thing that needs to be cleared up before you walk down the aisle, if your dissatisfied now (I sure would be)
good luck

Answer 4

delay the marriage and characteristic a criminal expert look on the prenup. i'm no longer against prenups according to se. they have reward. yet while a guy tries to spring one on you without warning when you're deep into the marriage making plans, it rather is a serious warning call. It skill the two a.) he's making an attempt to drag a quickly one, hoping you will sign it without finding at it different than decrease to rubble the marriage plans, or b.) he's no longer thinking each and every thing via, and does not rather understand what's in contact. A prenup could on no account be taken care of as a formality and casually signed. All prenups are no longer a similar. like countless severe-stakes contract, they could be reviewed via a criminal expert and negotiated. additionally, in case you do sign the prenup (or don't get married) i might make a factor of having an entire time interest. the clarification that the ladies human beings regularly gets a sturdy chew of the husband's assets after adivorce iss via fact women people who take over the childcare might otherwise finally end up getting scr3w3d. in case you finally end up breaking apart (and divorced men are greater in all danger to get divorced lower back) you do no longer choose a 10 365 days hollow on your resume and not something to coach for it. i might additionally make a pooint of no longer helping with the actual assets in any way. you may on no account artwork for loose on actual assets you do no longer very own. Katherin is faulty. women human beings do no longer immediately get 0.5 of the husband's assets in a divorce in maximum US states even without a prenup. Many states do implement prenups.

Answer 5

He doesnt have much faith in you, first off. And as far as you not wanting anything now, just wait till you both older and you have nothing and he's got cash on reserve. And discussing money is a bit rude, but you seem to do alot to shut him up.

Answer 6

Look at Paul McCartney of the Beatles. His wife felt the same way and now she is divorcing him and taking half of his billions....which is wrong morally... I think you too aren't right for each other any way...Move on and find someone else...

Answer 7

Unless Your a CPA...He should look else where for his wants,needs & desires where his MONEY is concerned...You may want to re-think your relationship with him also..if hes that concerned with "his money", how do you think hes gonna take care of You when Your Married!Going Dutch just seems compleatly wrong & uncooth...what awaits around the corner hunny...............think about it before You get hurt........................

Answer 8

wow to deep I really hope your lawyer looked at the paperwork sorry he's not to be trusted since he can't trust you not personal but just legal..... please say you didn't sign anything with out your lawyer looking at it first... it's like buying a house it's a commitment of thirty years so treat your marriage the same way. a commitment. hopefully more than thirty years.

Answer 9

nothing wrong with prenup, i signed one, your husband is good with money i can tell. just make sure he didn't take advantage with you, let your lawyer give you some suggestions before you sign it.

Answer 10

What you can say is NO to the marraige. He is selfish and he is showing you this from jump. First it's MY money then it will be MY this and MY that. He's not ready for a twosome because he is too one sided. And that's HIS side.