How can I hate my exhusband less?

Question

He owes 17,000$ in child support and 5200$ in interest. Has never had a steady relationship with them. They are two beautiful little girls, 9 and 8. I need to learn to forgive, But I really just want him to suffer for 5 or 6 years.

Answer 1

First of all I would try to get him thrown in jail for back child support or at least have his wages garnished. Having said that, you need to get a new perspective.

In order to hate someone less you need to spend less time and energy on them. The more you think about the situation, and the more you remember your hate for him, the more power he still has over you.

So what you are going to have to do is to find a way to focus all that energy that normally goes into hate for him. Some people can use a rubber band around their wrist and snap it each time a thought of the ex comes into their head. Some people have more luck exercising to distract themselves. Others read a book or work on a hobby. You need to find what will occupy your thoughts best, and go with it. Bit by bit you will realize you are not thinking of him as much. The less you think of him, the easier it is to let the hate fate away.

Answer 2

It's hard to not hate a man that isn't thanking God every single day for giving him two beautiful daughters, by at least trying to be close to them...I know, first hand. But, unfortunately, feeling hate for him will hurt you and your girls far more than it will ever hurt a man who's most likely living in a state of denial about what he's doing. Denial makes people immuned from feeling, so he wouldn't feel it anyway.
Try to concentrate on what he helped create with you, and just focus on their little faces to help ease your negetive feelings. They don't have the ability to hate him like you, because no matter what, he will always be their father, and they will only want to see the good in him. It's what every child does until they are old enough to decide for themselves what he is or is not to them.
Nothing good will come out of hating him. It can be very rough on children when they feel split between their mother and their father, especially when they see themselves as the reason. Good luck.

Answer 3

Throw his azz in jain for back child support, be thankful that he dont have a steady relationship with them because they dont need a dad like that! Once you get the back child support he owes you then take those 2 girls out and have a girls day on the town, that will help you to forgive him a little but for now PUT HIM IN THE SLAMMER WHERE HE BELONGS! That no good for nothing, so called "dad" #&*%$#@&*^%$$^%^!!!!!!!

Answer 4

Forgiving is the easy part, Forgetting is another matter. It is more damaging for you to keep hating him and resenting him. You really just need to work on making urself happy, this way your girls will see that u are happy and they will be ok too. Keep fighting for the child support since he's responsible and needs to own up to it. I wish you the best and hope that someday u'll find hapiness again.

Answer 5

Wow you are definitely a better person than I am LOL. You need to look at your daughters and almost feel sorry for him. He is missing out on so much and one day will finally see that. You may almost end up pitying him when you think of all the smiles, laughs hugs and I love you's he will never share with them Pretty sad huh

Answer 6

Think about all the good times you and your children have had together and forget about the bad. And think about how the kids would feel without a father. That don't mean you should forget about the child support though. He still has a responsabilty to take care of his kids and show them love. Just don't show any hatered to him in front of the kids.

Answer 7

A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/tlKxF

They might realize they need you and come crawling back!

If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.

Answer 8

Wow...this definitely is a very difficult thing to do.
It took me over 10 years to stop being mad at mine. And then there are some times when something will come up that it brings it up over again. (the anger).
The only way I resolve it is I tell myself that there isn't anything that I can do to get even with him on this earth. GOD will judge him and take care of it for me.
Have you taken him to court for the back child support?

Answer 9

Believe me he is already suffering. What do you think your life would have been had you stayed together? Do you think you would have money flowing like water? Did you think life was going to be all honey and cream after a divorce? It is hard enough to make it with two parents. That's why it takes two to make a baby.. there was a plan. When you start being a better ex he will start being a better dad. Do you think you can do that?

Answer 10

it is very hard to forgive and forget when someone hurts you and almost impossible when someone hurts your children. The best advice i could possibly give you is to look at your girls and see that they are a part of him too and that you do love them so you can look past his wrong doings for them. trust me i know it is hard i have had to endure about the same thing with my boys and my exhusband and i only have a civil relationship. I just dont look back at the past all though it is very hard at times i do it for my boys cus i know that they love their father very much and i dont want to do anything to add to thier hurt.