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34 answers

Well, um, let's see... (consults book of sarcasm) well, there's a bunch of people in the Middle East that are gonna be having a heck of a lot worse night then you...

2006-08-17 16:23:58 · answer #1 · answered by lancealvers2234 2 · 1 2

Hope this helps, here's some quickies!
> Quickie #1
>
> One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a
>very sexy nightie.
> "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
> So he tied her up and went fishing.
>
>
> Quickie #2
>
>
> A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran
>into the house.
> She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
>pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
> The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
>mountain stuff?"
> "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
>
>
> Quickie #3
>
> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and
>the other is a husband.
>
>
> Quickie #4
>
> A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
> First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
> The optician showed him a card with the letters:
> 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
> "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
> "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>
> Quickie #5
>
> Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I
>must tell you all
> something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
> "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
>chardonnay."
>
> Quickie #6
>
> A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
>Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
> "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
>You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We
>need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're
>going to STICK!
> Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
>you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST
>your mind?
> Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
>Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
> The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
>think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
> The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
>when I'm driving."
>
> Quickie #7
>
> Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North
> Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
> On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
> That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
> On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
> That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
> On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. And 51 years later the are still looking for him!

You should be laughing you butt off by now! Cheer up! Lifes to short!!!

2006-08-17 16:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by basscatcher 4 · 0 0

One night, a mean grizzly pirate walks into a bar. He catches the bartender's eye not only because he is a mean looking pirate, but because he also has a steering wheel sticking out of his crotch.

After a few drinks the pirate loosens up some and seems a bit more friendly. After taking a shot of liquid courage himself, the bartender asks the pirate the question that has been on his mind all night. "Excuse me, but I have to know. What is with the steering wheel?"

The pirate sighs and responds "Yargh, tis driving me nuts!"

2006-08-17 16:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

i can tell you how to spell the word "cheer".. does that cher you up?? hope you night has become better in the last 30mins since you posted this:-) sleep well .. maybe you'll have a sexy dream..so best to just go to bed and sleep on it, or do something with it.. just go to bed! good luck x

2006-08-17 16:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Be thankful you are you. I filed for divorce a few months ago, moved out and took the dogs leaving the idiot on his own. Since I did that I just found out that he lost his job and his girlfriend dumped him...then I heard today that his girlfriend dumped him just 4 days ago and last night somebody broke into and stole his brand new truck. I guess all his bad karma is paying him off nicely. Just be thankful you aren't him...your day looks great to him...so does your life.

2006-08-17 16:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by J Somethingorother 6 · 0 0

I can't think of anything cheerful to say, but I just want to let you know that most of us on answers notice when someone is having a bad time and that we just want you to feel better, no matter what's going on. So I know we're just a bunch of typed words in cyberspace, but we're all real people and (yes, I am speaking for everyone) we care that you're blue and want you to cheer up!

2006-08-17 16:25:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 0 0

well..i dnt know y ur having a bad nite.
but i just wanna say that im worst nite thn u. coz my parents are treating me like ****. My friends r being assholes. My life is annoying as it is. I dread everyday. And im only 14.
My boyfriend doesnt give a damn. My best friend is in jail. I dnt trust anyone. Im scaried to get hurt.
sorry..i guess that didnt help.
but i just want to let u know that ur not the ONLY one.

2006-08-17 16:33:02 · answer #7 · answered by Nita 3 · 0 0

Oh boy, so you feel down!
I wish there is a way
Send a tickle round
Eat a chocolate
May be a spoonful of sugar too
To make yourself merry
And feel tickety-boo!

Bad poetry ah? Yep. Never been that much of a poet!! Take care!

thush

2006-08-17 16:26:52 · answer #8 · answered by Bubbly 2 · 0 0

you're alive...are you terminally ill? are you in physical pain? you're obviously somewhere that you can use a computer, so you're not that far gone. any day above ground is usually a good day. look around you at those that are really and truly less fortunate than you. that should break you out of your slump, though some days it does get hard to do. believe me though, there really are people in this world that are TRULY much worse off, more unhappy, having a really really really bad night, worse than you are right now.

2006-08-17 16:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by vrandolph62 4 · 1 1

Hmmm... having a bad night? What did you do why you're having a bad night... It is more on something you did... To cheer yourself up, read a passage in the Bible, meditate... pray.... God bless you...

2006-08-18 04:18:42 · answer #10 · answered by yda G 1 · 0 0

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