My husband's exgirlfriend/now friend back from high school 8 years ago wants to have conversation with me.....i personally don't feel good about him talking with her because they only broke up because of distance. Is it a good or bad idea to become freinds with the exgirlfriend and let her close to me? I'm 30 she is 23.
2006-08-17 16:13:46 · 28 answers · asked by dlmvm0612 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just like the others have said--your the one he went the distance for he made his wedding vows with you. I wouldn't be friends with her. Maybe a conversation over a cup of coffee but that's it. Since she is his ex, there is no telling what conniving things she may say to you. What is her motive to get close to you?
2006-08-17 16:25:28 · answer #1 · answered by dakotanmisty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were trying to re-hook back up with an ex, I would make up excuses and try to be friends with the new partner so I could get a feel for what makes her tick and how to manipulate her so the two break up. Put yourself in the ex's shoes and think like a 23 year old single female. I wouldn't be friends with her and if I had no choice, I'd be on guard and keep a mental record of how your hubby acts, don't overlook any changes or possibilities of him cheating. Remember, 8 yrs ago, she was only 15 and you were 22. THink back how you percieved relationships at those ages. Good luck.
2006-08-17 23:22:37 · answer #2 · answered by onecharliecat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way - she still must be in touch with him right, else how will you know all these details??
If it was me, I would have become friends with her. After all, she is 23 and you are in a age where you can take control of the situation. Things must have changed in her life too. I'd say if you become a friend, it would be much harder for her to try anything funny with your hubby.
Only thing is, dont be overly suspecious or start out being suspecious. Then, everything, every move would be seen as wrong even if its not! Start out with a very open and a friendly mind!
Good luck!
2006-08-17 23:22:17 · answer #3 · answered by Bubbly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was/still am in the same situation as your husband.
Still loves his ex, but 'in love' with you and having her as a friend keeps her on his mind....
Ideally he would want you and her to be friends, but i sense her motive is to remain close to your husband forever, and I think you sense it too, and this is a threat to you and your relationship right?, you know your husband will allways have option 2 waiting there if he continues this friendship with her, and guess where he will be running off to if you and your husband have a serious bust up??
My ex and my current gf use to act like friends when my current girlfriend and I were just friends casual dating, but that all changed when we moved in together and became an 'item'. I was mad at first but came to realise that you cant have ex lovers lurking in the wings, if your husband treasures your relationship he will drop the friendly ex girlfriend thing, as I did with mine.
2006-08-17 23:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by stefjeff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the situation, what the both of you are like. Personally, I never think its a good idea to have an ex around, they only cause trouble. Especially if you think there might be feelings involved. But if she must come around, it doesn't hurt to be nice, but I wouldn't be too friendly. Too akward, she should understand.
2006-08-17 23:31:26 · answer #5 · answered by onehot_mama23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is that saying keep your friends close and your enemies closer, but as far as trying to have a real friendship with her no. It would just be fake and who still hangs out with their ex from 8 years ago.
2006-08-17 23:20:21 · answer #6 · answered by I love sushi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ex are hard to trust. If she gets too close to you and your husband, she might be the mistress without you knowing........sleeping with the enemy. Yet she and your husband get to fool everyone including you into believing you are all good friends. Quite a pity if this happens.
2006-08-18 01:53:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No competition now!You're wearing the ring. She's lucky to be in your company...Your husband and the ex does not need any "just them two together time." Always make 3's company.
2006-08-17 23:19:58 · answer #8 · answered by ladyt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if it was my hubby suggesting this it would be totally out of the question. Not because I don't trust him, but what does he need to see her for? Your hubby should be perfectly happy with you, and he should tell her so. he should be the one to decline the invitation by saying, "yes, we went our separate ways, and I am married now to a wonderful woman, so I am going to have to decline your invitation to meet. I do wish you the best of luck"
Good luck with this. I feel for you, you are in a tough spot
2006-08-17 23:21:56 · answer #9 · answered by rabika97 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ever have to see her and you want to be cordial or friendly that is great. Why not? However, she is the EX. So why would you want to have her close to you? Why would he? Who is getting more respect in this relationship? Its ok for everyone to be friendly. But close friends? That is too close for comfort!
2006-08-17 23:19:30 · answer #10 · answered by yowhatsup2day 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋