We're getting married and have different beliefs and religions?

Question

My boyfriend was raised Baptist and still believes but isn't a die hard like his mother is, who is the main problem right now. I am Wiccan and understand that he doesn't want a Wiccan ceremony. We both agreed to have a justice of the peace preform the ceremony until his mom became hissy. She is insisting that we have a Baptist ceremony, which I DO NOT WANT. She is making this so difficult, how can I get her to shut up? We both also agreed to raise our kids without religion and to let them decide when they are old enough, what they want to believe. She's upset about that too. My mom is cool with what ever we decide to do, why can't his mother be?

Answer 1

i hope you and he have discussed your differences before you gte married as this can really cause problems it is not discussed and decided before marriage.

Answer 2

Have u ever heard - that it is never a good idea to speak about religion or politics ?

It sounds like to me that u are a young couple - because believe u me that if u were more mature this would never have come up between u.

1st u must realize how short life is - and when u are to pick a partner in marriage ( which is supposed to be ur soulmate and for life ) that it is imperative that u pick the correct partner for yourself.

Religion and politics are pure evil (evidence of this world we are now living in) and are very sensitive subjects.
Think about commitment and love. Unfortunately sometimes people don't think things through the way they should.

Look at all of the troubles u are mentioning already between urself and ur in-laws! Can u imagine when u will be married and then time to start a family?

I know this may sound a little harsh - but I think u need to the get the heck out of Dodge and find urself a much more suitable partner - and take ur time - choosing this person - remember - marriage is supposed to be a life partnership - u owe it to urself to make the right decision - not just for urself but also for ur partner.

good luck

Answer 3

Well I can kind of see where his mother is coming from. First of all she has a way in believing that can be close minded. There are several different types of Baptists. People known as "real Baptist" can be the hardest, and even though other types can be more open minded about stuff they can still be unopened to something different. Although I don't really know much about Wiccan beliefs, I do know that Baptists tend to look down on anything outside of Christian beliefs. Especially things outside of Baptists Christian beliefs. A lot Baptist Christians don't really know much about Wicca and tend to think of witches and things like that. One more thing, when you get married you become like one. The two of you tend to grow together and become a strong couple or apart and become two separate people again. It's hard for people who have different religious beliefs to come together. It's not impossible, but it will be a lot of work.

Answer 4

Hear me now Believe me later...Your mother in Law to be is the least of your concerns.
some would feel lucky she cares enough to want the best for her son and future wife. Marriage and life are hard enough as it is even with the same beliefs. You two, if you really love each other, you will put off getting married and definantly having children until you walk a bit more in the world together and see what pulls you apart .
And how could you do a child the disservice of not showing them anything to believe in. They have a hard enough time fitting into this overpopulated , changing world. You both have your own beliefs, so you say. Sounds like neither of you are comitted to your own belief or you would not be getting married to each other.
Rolling the dice gets old after a while.

Answer 5

Good luck with this one. The only way this will ever work, is if your bf always sides with you. (Which will be hard) because his mom is his mom. She raised him and some of her values are going to be insilled in him. I suggest no to even think about children right now. If you guys do not want to get married in the church, I can understand why his mother may be upset, but it is both yours and his day. Not hers! You can telll her that this is the way you both have decided to do this ceremony. She is welcome to come as a guest but this is a special day for the two of you. Tell her that you appreciate her concerns and that the 2 of you know what you want in your hearts for your wedding day.
In my case, my dh and I had to elope because too many relatives had too many opinions on how we should do it. It became something we were dreading instead of looking forward to.

Answer 6

Obviously your boyfriend doesn't believe the Bible in the least if he is marrying a Wiccan. No matter what he claims his religion his, he has no convictions.

Both of you have got real winners there for yourselves.

Also, why are you getting "married" if you are a Wiccan. In as much as you believe in some kind of rythym of the earth, how can you go in for a construct that has nothing to do with your arbitrary pagan rituals.

Neither of you has any clue what you believe. You are both just weak individuals who have residual commitments to various sub cultures and at the same time want to do this little marriage thing because it makes you feel good . . .

Your problems go way further than this one little issue.

Answer 7

I'm Baptist and its a really pressing religion. I wouldn't even be allowed to date a non-believer because it is against our religion. But if you all are deciding to get married despite your religion i think its good. You have 2 remember who's getting married you not your future mother-in-law. Do whatever makes you both happy because in the end you both have to live with it. not her.

Answer 8

Have you told his mother that you are a witch? I can only imagine her reaction. LOL. How you celebrate your marriage and how you raise your children is nothing to do with her. You are adults and free to do as you choose. Remember the Wiccan Rede. However, it is your fiance's responsibility to protect you from his mother. You need to discuss this with him and have him tell her to back off. Do not do it yourself. This woman will be in your lives for a long, long time. You should try not to make an enemy of her. BB

Answer 9

First of all just go get married no one needs to know, when you have children give them the knowledge of knowing what being a baptist is their beliefs etc, also tell them what you believe, don't make a big issue into it just slowy introduce them to all types of culture, mainly morals then they will choose on their own. When you are married and away from his mother just be blunt and say you have your beliefs I can respect that, respect mine don't try to push yours on me. Say I want to get a long I love your son were married and all the rest will all come togather. If she is a pain about it and won't shut up, cut her out of your life.

Answer 10

Go and quietly without anyone's knowledge get married. Telling folks your already married is a lot different than the debate before.

We did it and it was over IN TIME. The one thing I would say is be sure the difference IS going to be ok as far as the relationship is concerned. Some counciling to get outside of the relationship for awhile might be very helpful.

Answer 11

As long as the two of you have discussed your wedding and agree on how you want to be married, mom needs to step off. This is not her wedding and she has NO right acting like such a *****. She sounds like a total control freak and she needs to be put in her place. Speak up, girl! By the way, congratulations!