I found an e-mail that my wife received from a male friend that says she loves him and that she is going to?

Question

leave me but she is waiting to find out what she did "wrong" in our marriage before she leaves me.Like I said, she sent him an e-mail saying she "loves him" and that he can use her naughty picture that she e-mailed him to get off on.I also found an e-mail that her male friend sent to her that had sexual comments about him wanting to screw my wife and that he bets that she tastes ssssooooo good.It makes me sick to my stomach.I confronted my wife about the sexual e-mail and she claims that was the only e-mail that had that kind of "material" and that it was only a fantasy at the time.Obviously she is lying and I know I can't trust her anymore.I now have evidence now that she is planning on leaving me for this guy through a copy of the e-mail.We have our first marriage counselor appoin. tomorrow at noon and I was wondering "do I confront her about this e-mail tonight like I really want to or should I just wait until we go to the counselor tomorrow and bring it up then? I need help please!

Answer 1

Bring it up with the counselor there. You are very emotionally invested in this, so you probalby aren't as clear headed as usual. It will help you both to have a neutral third party in the room.

I know it's hard now, but if you don't handle this right you will always wonder if you did the right thing, whichever way it goes.

Answer 2

That's a tough call -- either way, you're not gonna get much sleep tonight. Maybe just print out a copy and leave it somewhere that you know she'll come across it. That way she'll know that you found it, and you won't need to have a huge argument about it. Then, when you bring these things up at the appointment, she won't feel ambushed, so you'll have a better chance of getting something accomplished, rather than having the session spent arguing.

I am all too familiar with that tight knot in your stomach that's making you feel nauseous. You're in an extremely difficult time in your life right now, but you have to try everything you can to stay dignified. One of the hardest things to do in times when your world is crumbling is to be "the bigger person", but it is essential in order to have minimal regrets and maintain your self-respect, regardless of how this turns out.

This is especially true if there are children involved, as they need someone to be their anchor through the storm. That doesn't mean you should be unemotional - in fact it is better if you do express your emotions, but in a controlled and dignified manner. I haven't looked at your profile to see any other questions of yours, but from this question alone, it looks like you have some very dark days ahead. Just know that there will come a day when you will be looking back at this time of your life - you will make it through. Good luck!

Answer 3

wow,this is heavy stuff.sounds like shes confused about the word love and sex.now i did not get the impression she has done any thing,so be cool,do not let your mind run wild.if you are both going to a councler make sure they are older and married so they can understand yal better.she needs more and yor are not giving it to her,who knows,maybe she needs to be held, or told how much she is appreciated and loved and you have got to be patience,do not jump to conclusions.my first responce was to advise you to tell the therepest but i change my mind.i am afraid that will have a reverse reaction and make her hate you and do just the opposite.this is the way i see it from what little i know;she's a women,she's in your bed,you are the man,fight for her,you knew what it took to get her so now take her back,and do not let her ever know your feelings and never cry in front of her,they really take that as a sign of weakness.take the information you have and use to your advantage.maybe she needs to be licked have good exhausting sex.i was having trouble hitting my wifes g spot so i went to a nice sex store and asked the young lady behind the counter for advice.she sold me a special tool that hit the spot i couldn't.guess what,i was licking her using the tool and she came so hard and squeezed her leggs so hard my ears popped.my daddy always told me that if i didn't take care of my home work,then someone else would.and one last thing, a love making session should take from 45 min to 3 hours,bath together and then maybe more.

Answer 4

Cancel the counselor. It has no purpose now. If you want, at the initial meeting sometime in a few weeks with the counselor, have a process server serve her divorce papers at that first meeting with the counselor AS YOU EXIT. Make sure you take separate cars. That will let her know you mean business. Until then, get a divorce lawyer, use the material you have, do not even think about sleeping with your wife ever again, don't communicate with her at all except things like if she asks you for the car keys, which you will say NO. If she wants money, say no. If she weens money to buy food, tell her to get a job.

Answer 5

From a females opinion and i'm gonna keep it real with u. This woman does now want to be with you to the point where she'll actually disrespect herself by letting so stranger jerf off to her pic. I'm sorry but that is some whore **** right there. Stop having sex with her and I know u love her but do urself a favor, save ur time and 4get the counselor. instead tell her to get her stuff together and get out. U can't fix a relatonship where ur wife is desperate enough to get online and actually look for a man. Then write a letter completely disrespecting you. In ur house, I'm sorry, the nerve of her pisses me off too.........

Answer 6

It would be better to discuss it in front of the counselor. The counselor is a trained professional and will know (hopefully) how to help you deal with the situation as she hears it from u. It may help you both avoid a volatile situation where you are going to have a fight anyway. Just safer and better for all if it is done with a counselor present.

Answer 7

Let it all out at the conselor's office. He or she will be able to guide you through it. But only if both of you are willing to work on saving your marriage...it doesn't sound like she is. I unfortunately was in your situation, I was trying to save our marriage, and he was screwing a coworker...and I was apparently the root of all his problems...the only big ***** he could come up with in front of the counselor was that I left an empty prescription bottle on the bathroom counter for 3 days...(I don't throw them away until I have the refill, kind of a reminder) but apparently that was enough for him to justify having an affair that ended our marriage. It was at this point during our counseling session, that I realized, he wasn't going to put forth any effort, and I wasn't going to keep trying in the face of such disrespect. I'm divorced now, and happier, I hope you will work this out, but if she doesn't want to, let her go...Good Luck...

Answer 8

I am sorry to hear that.. She should not be sending emails to any guy especially if she is still married to you. The question is Do you still love her? and do she still love you? Obviously not for her too email another man. You should mention that email tomorrow because she is only going to deny it if you confront her about it.

I really believe that there is two sides to a story before assuming that she is no good. I am also married and I am having problems in my marriage and I have mentioned to my husband that I want a divorce. The problem I have in my marriage is my husband does not acknowlege me at all. We do not have sex and I am so tempted to cheat on him however, two wrongs do not make it right..

Answer 9

I don't see a confrontation tonight being useful. Bring it up with the counselor. If your wife continues to refuse to be honest, there isn't a lot of hope that this marriage can be saved. You need to think about protecting yourself, emotionally and financially. I really hope there are no children involved in this mess!

Answer 10

I would confront her this evening. I'm surprised you haven't already. She's telling another man she loves him via email behind your back and discusses the possibility of leaving u for him? Good luck with the marriage counselor.