im so deppresed make me laugh and you win
2006-08-17 14:16:42 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Comics & Animation
this may be disturbing:
Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick-a big eel ;had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house! Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.
2006-08-17 16:42:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.
Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.
"Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend.
"In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?"
2006-08-17 15:14:52 · answer #2 · answered by samurai core 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i'm a special kinda girl. I have a couple of heads - just so that all my different personalities can have a wee rest from each other.
I have just come back from my own wee adventure holiday. I went for a little fly to the gran canion & stopped off on Mars to visit my family on the way home.
I hope that at least beought a smile to your face, but hey..........it's late so don't blame me!!
2006-08-17 14:24:57 · answer #3 · answered by ang_macd2000 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
haha ur so blonde that u were with a burnette and like it was 10' pm and yall were watching the news and she bet u 500 dollars some guy would jump off the buildin and u agreed. then like he jumped off and u were about to pay her the money when she is all like im sorry i cant take the money and ur like why and she says that she had watched the 6' news and she saw him jump off. ur said then well so did i but i didn't think he would jump off again!
LMAO
2006-08-17 14:24:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you totally confuse a blond man?
Ask him to alphabitize a King Size bag of M&m's
2006-08-17 14:45:47 · answer #5 · answered by Amber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A rapist breaks into a convent.
He gathers all the nuns in the main hall and once he's got them all in the same room he says to them,
'Now, I'm going to rape ALL of you!!!'
One little nun comes forward, and getting down on her knees, beggin to him she says,
'Please, not the Mother Superior, not the Mother Superior!'
But the Mother Superior, suddenly interrupting the little nun says:
'He said ALL of us!'
LMAO!!!
Hope it helps, cheers!
2006-08-17 14:28:41 · answer #6 · answered by chupulina 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tey the website, hapytreefriends.com
2006-08-17 15:59:32 · answer #7 · answered by Mind_maze 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you like anime? I guess not because you ask stupid questions like this and put them in wrong categories such as the this one. get that out of here!
2006-08-17 15:29:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
2006-08-17 15:27:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lets see ok i give i dont know you so icant make you laugh alli knowi cantalkto a poll and probelly get better luck or talk to a monkey on crack and get better luck so hmm
2006-08-17 14:21:53 · answer #10 · answered by kevin s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋