How should I handle moving on from a friendship that the other person ended without getting my point of view?

Question

I have asked a similar question before and gotten good responses. What I wonder about is when this person is around people who are mutual friends. Should I just allow the lack of resolution I feel to continue to exist along with conflicting feelings I have about this person...(part of me is greatful for something they helped me out with and would like to make things even, another part resents the way they handled ending the friendship, things that were said behind my back, and their refusal to listen to my point of view). The lack of resolution in my mind and my conflicting feels leave me constantly feeling unsettled and uncertain when they are around. Thus far, I have made no effort to say or do anything, but any dialogue they initiate never moves beyond Hi or a wave. It is not my desire to push this person to change their mind about anything, but at the same time there is a part of me that would like to resolve the conflict in my mind and another part that seeks resolution.

Answer 1

Here is "Let it go, Lewie - 101".....write all of your conflicts on a few sheets of paper...or print them out, whatever works for you. The do a personal ceremony letting those feelings go with candles and incense...light the paper on fire and let the ashes blow in the wind. Then you can clear your mind and your heart of this burden. Just let is resolve itself, honey...it will get better if you let it. You have to willing to let 'go' like those ashes and smoke. You're not hurting anyone but yourself. Then if the opportunity does present itself, ask for forgiveness of that person whether you were right or wrong. Doesn't matter in the long run if you have forgiven yourself. Life is just too short for all of that crap! God Bless.

Answer 2

The best way to get your point across in a situation like this where the friendship has ended and you still have things to say to get your point across is to write a letter. There are so many ways, on paper, that you can make someone understand where you are coming from and pointing out their points as well whether you agreed with them or not. I have found that some of the relationships that I or the other person has ended, in my life, were best expressed on paper. Even if I didn't send the letter, I would still express it on paper just to get it off my chest. I have a friend that every time we get into an argument, she hangs up on me and when I try to call her back to explain why I was angry or acting snotty, she doesn't answer, or if she does answer, we go right back to arguing and noone can get their point across. So the only way I can let her know where I am coming from without it ending in a knock down drag out fight, is to email her, or write a letter. If you talk face to face sometimes, you say things that, in retrospect, you regret, or should have worded it differently. With a letter, you can get your point across and go back and tweek it if you have to. You should write a letter to your friend right now, whether you send it or not, at least you can get it off your chest. Who knows, maybe once your friend sees your side, it may shed a different light on the situation and you can at least BREATHE.

Answer 3

Your peace of mind is going to take Paramount. If it's one thing i have learned its that you need to feel good about your self on the inside. This unsettling feeling your getting is a feeling i can identify with and trust me its not just going to go away. Its best you deal with the issue once and for all. It may not be an easy thing to do but to do it you must. Inner peace is more important than pride. that constant uneasy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach and weighing on your chest is not going to go away until you face up to the cause. once you do that what ever the out come with the friendship, you will feel much better. Remember life is too short.

Answer 4

First your assisiocate is the person that was never your friend cause if it was thing would have been totaly different from what you are saying and you would have had your chance to close things out and still been friends so what you and that person need to do is fine a place in between and meet and talk it out unless they just don't want to have anything to do with you and if that is the case chalk it up as expreince learn and know not to repeat that again good luck

Answer 5

Your life didn't ended.
Be happy the relationship is over. Nothing what you can think about it - just remember what was good with the person and keep
the memory - don't hate. If somebody was not worth - better if you know today then tomorrow. Right now you have all time for yourself,
do what you couldn't do. Remember you have personality and value - be active get goals - make your lifestyle and let people respect you.
Next time - remember - in relationship first is quality of communication.

Answer 6

Make an effort if the opportunity presents itself. Be friendly but not overbearing/pushy. Time will take care of it. There are a lot of people out there to make friends with. Don't get hung up on this one person.

Answer 7

Forget about it. Depending on what actually happened I can't give you a definate answer. But the best thing to do is let it go until that person confronts you.