What should I do about my husband watching porn?

Question

Lately things have not been great between my husband and I. He is not interested in being physical with me. In the last two days he watched over 20 videos on the internet.he often hides it from me. we are newlyweds and i dont think our sex life should be over already...
when I have tried to talk to him about it he says that i am just being insecure and that I am immature to not understand this. I do not understand it. I am not unattractive.. I am not a prude or it's not like he is watching something i wont do with him... he watches it cause he says he is "bored" and it is something to do. he also says that we arent having sex that often cause he doesnt want it to get old. this makes very confused and i do feel insecure NOW. Am i wrong? how can I handle this and not ruin our relationship????

Answer 1

Make him a porn of you and download it to a folder, and tell him to watch it

Answer 2

Porn is addictive. The more you watch the more you want to because you keep thinking there will be something better if you just keep looking.

However is you have a loving new wife it is hard to believe he is replacing you with it. If he watched but you still had a good sex life then it would not be so bad, you could watch with him and get ideas. But for him to not let you in and then give you an excuse for not wanting you???????

his viewing porn should give him ideas that he can do with you, not take away from it.

Question? Is your husband functional? Could he be trying to hide that from you? If no problems there then it leaves only one thing I can think of. Porn has a desensitizing effect. The more you watch all the things those women do the less interested he may become in the real thing. Not just you but sex in general. I can't tell you how hard that is for me to believe but it could happen.

For you to be newlyweds and having this problem is not a good sign for a long term relationship. You need to have him explain why he is no longer interested in you in just plain words. No excuse....just why. He has a reason you just need to get him to admit it. Marriage is hard enough than to have this between you.

There is something he is hiding, running from, and not being honest with you. MAKE HIM, he owes that to you.

Answer 3

Hes not having sex with you because he doesn't want it to get old? yet he watches porn on a daily basis, does that not get old too.? Does he work? I don't think you are being insecure, I think he may have a problem he doesn't want you to know about, does he have problems in the bedroom? I mean does he have problems getting an erection? If you are newlyweds you would think he would want it all the time. Was he like this before you married? Maybe you just need to talk and figure out what is missing in your marriage. good luck

Answer 4

I suggest the answer to this problem is to be found in one word

AFFAIR

I would suggest hes cheating on you and not just with the porn
Correct me if Im wrong. You say you are newly weds, but I would bet the farm that you had been having a sexual relationship for a while before you got married.
If a man goes off sex with his wife then I reckon it boils down to a couple of possibilities
Hes having an Affair as I've mentioned or
Hes got erectile dysfunction and is too insecure to tell you

Answer 5

I have sorta been in your shoes. I found out that my husband had been viewing porn sites on the web our entire marriage. We have been married 5 years and I didn't find this out until about 8 months ago. At that time we were married about 4 and 1/2 years. I asked him about it and he lied and said he wasn't. So I downloaded Advanced Keylogger for free and it is hidden on the computer and records every key typed on the keyboard. Well sure enough he had been boing it. And like you my husband never seemed interested. All the advice I can give you is to talk to him over and over (but not in a nagging kind of way) and explain to him that this really hurts. I can't stand being lied to and it got to the point were I was ready to call it quits. And he finally agreed to marriage counseling...It has helped us. Although all the issues still aren't resolved. If he would agree to Marriage Counseling it would help a great deal as long as neither of you go hoping to fix the other person. Good luck through this difficult time. I know what it is like, you feel shut out. Because like you, I was willing to watch it together but that wasn't good enough...he didn't really like that. So I felt like I was shut out of the sexual part of his life. Please just don't give up. He needs you more than he realizes. It could be a Sexual Addiction. Read about sexual addiction on http://saa-recovery.org/

Answer 6

No. You are not wrong. I'll be honest with you. I am a guy and I know the desire to view porn. The problem is that whether your husband will admit it or not, he will lose his desire for you. It would be like you watching Tom Cruise movies all the time so much that when you look at your husband he just doesn't measure up. The inmaturity is with your husband not you. He needs to learn to worship your body not a slut on video. He married you and needs to find his desires to come from you. If he has been viewing porn for a long time it would be very difficult for him to stop unless he realizes that what he is doing IS poisoning your relationship. He has to want to quit. I hope this helps.

Answer 7

Dont let the porn make you insecure. I dont think thats the problem. Your a beautiful woman. I am not sure if anyone has the answers as to why he is acting the way he is. But maybe try doing something special or noticable. Dressing up for him, getting him to notice you. See hwat his reaction is then. If still the same then I would say there is a definate problem that he is not willing to discuss with you. Do yuo do anything special to try and "sprice" things up? Maybe thats the reason for the internet porn. He can see different things.

Answer 8

don't be insecure, if you were Kate Moss he would still jerk off.
allot of the times its a personal stress reliever or a mental thing its not always sexual, sometimes its just something men do.. just as women chose to lie about not doing its something they do!

masturbating means allot of things one thing it does not is that your sex life is over.. please! Sadly porn addiction is also big, however 20 videos in a year is nothing.. if he was addicted it would be 20 a week or month or day.

you say your not unattractive, well maybe hes sick of the same position maybe he feels he has to jump through 500 hoops just to get sex or maybe hes used to his hand.

as for your question, you have options

a. join in the premiere of the weekly movie!
b. invite another girl in the trio
c. be a demanding ***** of a wife and tell him to stop
d. get over it and wait til he wants some real nookie.

..c . wont work.

Answer 9

Well one thing he guessed it wrong saying you are unattractive…anyway, I think his leaving the relationship totally up to you. I mean a healthy marriage necessitate trust and effort by both partners; him liking porn videos give the evidence of lack of trust and belief…and only way you could find out this if he ever respond to you with anger or accusations rather than trying to be understandable. I hope things get better between you to, try to engage in communication often and good luck.

Answer 10

He says he watches it cuz he's bored and that you aren't having sex that often cuz he doesn't want it to get old? Maybe if he stopped spanking his monkey 24-7, he'd feel like having sex with a real life woman----you. Why don't you tell him to go get a blow up life-size doll and just stick his dic* in there when he wants to get off. Then get a divorce. This guy is a manipulative, selfish, jerk. And your newlyweds? You get what u settle for.

Answer 11

Love making doesn't ever get old if you change it up a bit every time.
That is a lame excuse.
And if he wants to keep watching porn, he should ask to join him.
If he keeps doing that in his own time, then ask him if it is okay if you watch porn by yourself, too? But mean it. If he says sure, then do it.
That might even spice things up for the two of you. Bet you both of you might end up watching together and it might end up being a foreplay thing.

Watch Talk Sex with Sue Johanson late Sundays on Oxygen channel. She answers all kinds of callers' questions. It might enlighten you on how to spice things up.
Good luck. And take your pleasure to another level.. if your love is both strong, then it won't hurt your relationship and you will only have knowledge/ pleasure to gain.