Here is my question:
What is the appropriate age for a teenager to "pronounce" his or her sexual preference?
One of my friend's kids just "came out of the closet" at the age of 14! I am not biased any particular way, and I am gay myself, BUT here's the deal - his parents do not know whether to blow this off and consider it a "phase," or take the confession at face value. I totally understand the complexity of the situation.
Is the kid too old to undergo counseling for this? But, is the kid too young to know for sure how he feels sexually? On one hand, it feels like he would be old enough to KNOW, but on the other hand... he is at the age where hormones are probably spinning him in a million different directions.
Any ideas? This is becoming a serious concern for this family. They do not care if their kid is gay, but they are just SO confused about whether or not to accept this.
2006-08-17 13:38:26 · 11 answers · asked by AeroMidwest82 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Good answers. I think that the main concern is that he is going to go around declaring to everyone that he is gay and then turn around and decide that he is REALLY straight (which would cripple him socially). They just have his best interests at heart.
2006-08-17 13:50:51 · update #1
That's a very good question. I'm a father of two and I would have to treat this question just as serious as I would with them. 14 is a tender age and it's good the parents aren't fighting it or putting out a lot of negativity. It is important to validate what the child is saying and be as open-minded about it as possible. I wouldn't promote it or dismiss it. I would merely let things run their course. If the child is truly gay, he will be gay when he is an adult. There's no reason to make the child prove it or go through some kind of "initiation" at this point. When I say "initiation" I mean don't say pseudo gay things to him/her or ask about homosexual issues and things of that nature. The most important thing I try to do as a parent is validate my children's feelings. That is second only to love and discipline. It's so important...
2006-08-17 13:55:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Many young teens go through periods of psycho-sexual confusion.
And with all the "in your face" sexuality of ALL types so prevelant in our culture, a kid with questions and doubts just might be convienced he is gay without realizing his feelings are just a part of growing up.
Years ago before all the "in your face" sexuality, those feelings were just considered part of growing up and brushed off and the kids grew up just fine, dated the opposite sex, got married and had nice families.
Now there is way too much unnecessary confusion!
The kid needs counseling ASAP.
2006-08-18 05:35:28 · answer #2 · answered by WhatAmI? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay maybe he really does feel this way, but you could be right and it could be the hormones. I think that alot of teenagers are attracted to the same sex around that age and never say anything for fear of being gay NO OFFENSE I'm bi myself. I think that they need to give him his space for awhile and let him see how his sexuality develops. Like with me at first I liked guys then was shocked to think I didn't because I was attracted to girls, but know I know that i am bi and my parents and husband accept me for who I am. Give him time and it will all work out
2006-08-17 13:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I always recommend 18 as the age when you should declare your sexual preference.
It's not unusual for people to have homosexual feelings when they first experience puberty, but only if you still have those feelings when you mature (18-21) should you consider that to be your sexual preference.
2006-08-17 13:48:21 · answer #4 · answered by Doctor Hand 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
age : 17 gender : woman "sexual determination" some take that to intend that notwithstanding it is which you're attracted to is a call.. and that's misguided.. it relatively is no longer a "determination"... it relatively is sexual orientation! so... sexual orientation : lesbian
2016-10-02 05:28:09 · answer #5 · answered by devnew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's hard to say. You'd have to go on a case by case basis. Some kids know early, but I think most kids are just exploring at that age.
2006-08-17 13:45:30 · answer #6 · answered by WEIRDRELATIVES 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would think it is a phase hell at 14 u dont know your *** from a hole n the ground. i would consider family counseling and see where that goes but as long as he is a teenager i wouldn't take it all n as knowing exactly what he wants.
2006-08-17 13:44:48 · answer #7 · answered by mf mf mf mf mf fmf mf mfmfmfmfmf 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think they should just accept it. no one knows better what his sexual preference is than he him self. they should not try to change this. they need to support his descision for now. chances are- its not "just a phase" which seems to be a parents reasoning and excuse for everything.
2006-08-17 13:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by ::Hannah:: 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that his family should accept their son even if he is gay, straight or crooked.....look at it this way be glad tha he came to them and not a total stranger or they catching him in action.........then i know they would be pissed off about the situation.....
2006-08-17 13:46:07 · answer #9 · answered by vigennie 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've never heard of anyone coming out by mistake at any age. Plus, it's not like he can't someday decide he's actually bi or heter.
2006-08-17 13:43:52 · answer #10 · answered by Mack L 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋