Why is so hard to let go of someone that is very bad for me?

Question

I'm finally divorcing my husband after only 6 years of marriage. The first year was great. But the last 2 years he had become very mean & cruel. So I know its best that I told him to leave, but why do I miss the man I thought he was?

Answer 1

A part of you will always remember. It's like when they say to forgive and forget, but you never really forget. I also believe it is the fear that we won't find another person and worrying that this was our 1 shot at love and that we'd never find anyone else. It's also stressful going through a divorce, and it lowers your self-esteem significantly.

You really need to look at the big picture. When you start thinking about him, just remember... It was the right thing to do.

Answer 2

You hit the nail on the head with your question. You miss the man you fell in love with. That's the man you thought he was. You do not miss the man he turned into. Unfortunately he turned into a mean and cruel man. You don't miss the real person, only the image of what could have been.

Answer 3

because the man you thought he was was really good because that was a fantasy because that was never real "love is blind he was always this monster he just showed himself more in the end because he thought he could get away with it. So why wouldn't you miss the memory of who you only "thought he was" nothing beats our illusions it's like drinking salt water when your to lonely out in the ocean it tastes good but your killing yourself. don't ever get to bored lonely hungry ect thats when satan comes to tempt us because we are weaker. In other words get strong before you start another relationship becareful Godbless you and your family!

Answer 4

When one falls in love it´s possible to build a kind of mind-image of a person which can be so strong that it hardly fades even though one finds out it´s not the truth at all.Many times the truth can be so painful and devastating so it´s rather easier to return to old and familiar.

Answer 5

my friend said she felt like a failure when her divorce came through and she was sad but she knew shed done the right thing u just feeling a bit insecure but u'll get over it and find someone better next time all realationships r sweet to begin with only if ur really lucky do they stay that way

Answer 6

you miss being in love, or the illussions you had of him. turns out he wasn't the man u married. after you got to know him, the true man, you found out what he was really like. move on. he will never change for you, or anyone else. a tiger can't change the color of his stripes. the inner man turned out to be a punk. get a REAL man next time, one who is kind.

Answer 7

Because he was a very nice guy? If you had something good, seems to me it would be very odd if you didn't miss it. Has he changed or did you miss the early signs of his problem?

Answer 8

There a part of us that keeps thinking what if....
We think he will change. He won't who he is now is probably who he is going to be. He may already have someone else and is trying to make you move on. I wish you the best of luck. God bless

Answer 9

Its the death of a dream. The dream being that you thought he was the one. But think of it as an optical illusion----you thought he was one thing, but he turned out to be something else-----a wolf in sheep's clothing. Your missing who you wanted him to be.
Give yourself time and you will see that you made the right decison.

Answer 10

Its going to be rough, you love him, you thank about all the good memories, you have all this time with him. But always remind yourself what he did. You will get over him take it slow. Rediscover yourself, go do something that you probably wouldn't think about doing and go do it. Like sky diving.