I recently divorced after 17 years with two kids, I met a man that has been divorced three years with two kids. I gave up everything I worked for to be happy. I got my kids in the divorce but one child wanted to stay close to his friends. I am trying to deal with that but it his hard not seeing my oldest everyday so we talk on the phone everyday. My problem is my new boyfriend we want to get married he gave me a ring. but has started a custody battle with his ex-wife and I am affraid this will go on forever because he that is what they do is fight over kids . she screwed around many time and he was in love with her. so they fight over kids he has money to keep it tied up in court. But i the meantime he still wants to keep me out of the picture and dont show up any where she is so she cant use it against him in court that we are living together. Finatially i'm convient for him I pick his kids up for school, keep a clean house, cook & sex. Shuld he keep me hidden or do I leave?.
2006-08-17 13:16:17 · 7 answers · asked by g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First you explain to him that you are uncomfortable "sneaking" around with your boyfriend. Express to him that you can't keep living that way and if he doesn't change then you have your answer.
2006-08-17 13:31:49 · answer #1 · answered by Creole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can't use anything against him in court. It would be good if you showed your face. He should show you off. Being with someone like you who has kids, and went through what he's going through right now is a good thing. He can go into court with you and your kids, and your kids can attest to how good he is to them, and there should be no reason why he shouldn't have his own kids. If he can take good care of yours, imagine how good he can take care of his own. There is no reason to keep you hidden. There is no reason to leave him, unless you feel he is using you. If he loves you, let him know it would be best for him to to have you by his side as much as possible.
2006-08-17 20:30:54 · answer #2 · answered by Jeff S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Custody Battles especially UGLY ones can take a couple to a few years. I know first hand. Mine has been going on for 2 years now finally it will end in October of this year. I WON!!! :)
Have you talked to him about this and how you feel? He used the excuse of he doesn't want her to know you live with him? WHY?? I'm engaged and we live together, we OWN our house, cars everything together. It's NOT going to hurt his case. Nobody can make the decision for you its on how YOU feel.
2006-08-17 20:36:09 · answer #3 · answered by motherofbjz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds gamey and manipulative of him. Your presence may be a small hinderance (may be) but to keep you hidden from the picture? If his ex has a lawyer, trust me, they will hire a private detective to check out every facet of his life. If you pick his children up from school, how long will it be before someone knows?
2006-08-17 20:25:30 · answer #4 · answered by zhadowlord 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, if you were a 'known' person in his life, he may hold better ground in court....but if he chooses to keep you in the wings, I'd leave.
2006-08-17 20:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any reason why he should be fighting for custody of his children or is it just a power thing?
2006-08-17 20:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in his shoes. any support u can give him would be most helpful. you have to do what you need to do for you. will you ever regret leaving him? his mind is rella yfull right now .so whatever you decide to do ,do whats best for everyone, not just you.
2006-08-17 20:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by buckcreekb2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋