my husband is not interested in my feelings,but we are hanging in there for the kids?

Question

he could not care less,never talks to me
no more respect,sex is still there,but what about our communication/

Answer 1

It's great your doing it for the kids, but remember that kids learn by example. You and your husband are setting a bad example of how a couple conducts a relationship. Consider consulting.

Answer 2

Staying together for the kids isn't always the best way to deal with the situation. I mean your kids probably know there is something wrong and the only thing this will do is hurt them in the long run. If your kids are young then it will be much easier for them if you separate now than later. Separating isn't the only possibility just as well, at least not before you try counseling or a relationship therapist.
But personaly I would leave, because it isn't worth it! I am saying this because I was in a situation simuler to this one. My dad works for a turing circus, it tores all around the world. And my mom was studing at McGuill University in medicine, so she could never go with him. So my dad started cheating on her, and one day when he came he told her everything and that he also wants a devorse. The thing was, they lived in the same house for three months and never talked to each other. Unless it was name calling! This made me sad and every day after school I wouldn't want to go home! I wanted them both to be living seperatly, both to be happy, and to stop making my sisters life as well as mine misserable. I didn't take it personaly but my sister did, during thess three monthes my sister saw that there was something wrong s o she started thinking that it was because of her. When they finaly left each other every ones lives became much beter. Asdpecialy for the kids. I mean perants will always stay perants, and just because you and your husband leave each other, nothing can stop your kids from still seeing both perants.
Well I wish you all the best and good luck!!! Oh and remember not to ever keep your feeling locked up, you should always find at least one persone you trust to talk to!!!!!

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but you have the wrong idea in hanging in there for the children's sake. Been there, done that. The children grow up in a love-less atmosphere and are taught that by your actions with your husband. They will become withdrawn and have no idea as to how a couple should function together and will create problems for them in their later years. The children will suffer greatly even though you may not see it right now.
What will happen if something serious comes along pertaining to one of the children? How can you handle it if there is no communication about anything.
I suggest that you seriously think over what you want and what you want to do for yourself.

Answer 4

I am in the same kind of life, 27 years the last 7 there has been no sex, we only talk about the kids and only stay for the kids, the baby is in 12th grade so this is the last 10 months of this little game we have been playing, tried all the bull sh$% stuff, she does not want to talk about any of it so i just go along in a state of dullness and hope to meet some one to talk with. its tuff but i keep looking to next summer because the end is in site,, good luck

Answer 5

"Hanging in there" for the kids is never a good thing to do, in the long run, the kids wont appreciate it, they will be upset that you didnt split up earlier. I was like that with my mom, my dad cheated on my mom for years, since i was like 10, and my mom just "hung in there" for me and my sister, I was mad at her and sad for her for a loooong time wishing she would just leave him and stop letting him turn her into an alchoholic. She stayed with him until I graduated high school and I have never seen her this happy with her life ever, but now in her mid 40's she doesnt feel attractive enough to find a new man and is now rather disgusted about them and now my new worry is that she is going to die alone. Do you really want to go through that and put your kids through that?? You are only allowed one life on this earth, you might as well make it worth your while.

Answer 6

Coming from divorced household I can tell you 1st hand don't stick it out for the kids. They know more than you think. Even if they are very young then can sense something is wrong. If divorce is not an option have you talked about a family counselor? Why are you having sex with a man who has no respect for you?

Answer 7

I feel the same way sista - but you gotta have a plan. I do, I am giving it my best for the next year (we've been miserable for 1 year already) and if nothing has changed then - I'm out of here. I don't need my daughter seeing my cry all the time . F that! I will walk away knowing I did my best and didn't just give up.

Answer 8

Don't do it for the kids because it will not work.Things will only get worst. Communication is the key in marriage once that leaves it's hard to get back.I've been there.If you both still want it try counseling and see where it leads you.Do things that will rekindle the relationship.Good luck and I hope thing will change for you.

Answer 9

If you're not talking and you don't like it then start talking. Try and find a night when the kids are out and tell him you're having problems and you both need to find the best solution. Why did you get married in the first place?

Answer 10

That's the wrong reason to stay together.So you are both living a lie.Pull the pin,Its only going to get worst and the kids will be the ones who will suffer in the long run.