me and my wife met years ago.we were both young she left me at a time when we were both partying i wanted to be with her to party with her but we never got to cause she was always with someone else now we have been together for a year and half but she doesnt party anymore and i am so jealous of the fact that other guys got to enjoy the fun with her and i never got to it eats me alive.i fell if i leave her i can foget about it but i dont want to hurt her.please help.
2006-08-17 13:10:42 · 21 answers · asked by dlxsf420 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear Mr. dlxs420,
You are the winner of your wife's heart, but you are still nursing your injured ego. And in doing so you are making your wife the villain. By vilifying your wife you will lose your love for her, and the one thing in your life that made you a winner will be turned into a bitter loss.. Is that what you want???
The problem is not your wife -- it's you. Stop blaming her!!
These are the days you are to cherish. Of all the guys in the world she chose you... no one else. Who she danced with in the past makes no difference, she is sleeping with you! You are so lucky...
Stop and think about how many guys wish they were in your place. You've got to start treating your wife like she's the most wonderful thing in your life. Live life in the NOW, not in the past.
Take your wife for romantic walks in the park. Plan special trips. Plan to celebrate your anniversaries... Relish everything in this world that is beautiful. This is give you strength and joy. This will give your life meaning.
Nursing your past hurts will only build into blindness and death. Don't go there.
2006-08-17 13:27:15 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey let it go and work on your ordained marriage with the wife who God pick out for you. All of us have a past in our life. Best to live your life one day at a time . Life has no limitations , except the ones you make. When you take your troubles to God , you may have them , but they don't have you. Don't ever get a divorce because it is so wrong . Remember this marriage is what it is until death.
2006-08-17 13:34:55 · answer #2 · answered by June H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry her?
I married my wife because of all the women on earth, she was the one that I loved, desired and cherished the most. I believed that whatever had happened in her past, good or bad, that brought her to that point and made her into that person, I would cherish. Because I cherish her. So I cherish her past; her experiences... even the other relationships she's had. Because all of those things helped to make her into the woman I adore today.
Second, I make my choices based on confidence and strength, not insecurity and fear. I wanted her to choose me; not because she didn't know any better, but because she did. With all the men she's had in her life, and all the opportunities she had to be with someone else, she chose me. In spite of any and every lover she's ever had, she chose me over them to spend her life with. Sheez.... what a compliment!
Get over your insecurity. Relish the fact that she chose you over everyone else she's ever had, or ever could have. Or spend the rest of your life making her regret that she did. Your choice.
2006-08-17 13:33:47 · answer #3 · answered by antirion 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how about talking to her and sking her why she stopped partying in the first place? this seems like a trivial thing to leave ur wife for. talk it over. no yelling and stuff. tell her how u feel about it. maybe she doesn't want u to get hurt or jealous cuz a lot of guys r paying her attention and so on.
good luck!
2006-08-17 13:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by Unicorn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Check the maturity level on that one!
Hello - you're married. Partying is out the window. Sure its fine to go out from time to time, but the term "PARTYING" implies going to clubs & hopping it up with other people till the wee hours. She's obviously moved past that and wants to settle down.
Are you seriously considering DIVORCE over the fact that she doesn't want to go clubbing with you???
What's eating at you is the fact that now that YOU are married, YOU can't go out and go clubbing and skank-hunting like you once did, not the fact that your wife doesn't want to attend.
(And what's up with the "can't forget her past" crap? You make it sound like she screwed around on you or was a hooker or something. Jeez)
Try doing something a little more mature like going out on date nights to the movies, miniature golfing, take her on a weekend trip, go visit a winery. Do things that more age-appropriate for MARRIED people.
2006-08-17 13:23:30 · answer #5 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's just dumb! Sorry, but you married her and now you say you can't forget about her past? You apparently forgot about it long enough to marry her. Stop worrying about her past and start planning a future together. If you still want to party maybe you should have never gotten married. Grow up!
2006-08-17 13:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the partying is over because you two are a lot older. Youu can still do lots of romantic getaways with her and those things will forever be in her memory.
2006-08-17 13:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok been there done this.look if you can't put her to rest and let it eat at you your gonna have major conflict.so if you realy cant let the past be the past and forget leave her now she will get over that.don't make yourself suffer cause it will end up hurting you both daily after a time. trust me.in one way or the other your pain and jealousie will slip through.
2006-08-17 13:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by Guardian_Knight 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get over it. Getting drunk and/or high doesn't constitute fun. There are other ways to enjoy someone's company than partying.
2006-08-17 13:20:33 · answer #9 · answered by zhadowlord 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is entitled to their past. Didn't you say you used to party also? Should she be angry with you? You are trying to find problems where there are none. If you keep dwelling on her past she is going to start wondering what you are hiding from her.
2006-08-17 13:18:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋