interesting quote, what do you think about it?

Question

“One day I’ll marry a man. He and I will end up finding a way of dreaming of a future together: a house in the country, children, our children’s future, We’ll make love often in the first year, less in the second, and after the third year, people perhaps think about sex only once every two weeks and transform that thought into action only once a month. Even worse, we’ll barely talk. I’ll force myself to accept the situation, and I’ll wonder what’s wrong with me, because he no longer takes any interest in me, ignores me, and does nothing but talk about his friends as if they were his real world.

When the marriage is just about to fall apart, I’ll get pregnant. We’ll have a child, feel closer to each other for a while, and then the situation will go back to what it was before.

I’ll begin to put on weight, and I’ll start to go on diets, systematically defeated each day, each week, by the weight that keeps creeping up regardless of the controls I put on it. At that point I’ll take those magic pills that stop you from feeling depressed; then I’ll have a few more children, conceived during nights of love that pass all too quickly. I’ll tell everyone that the children are my reason for living, when in reality my life is their reason for living.

People will always consider us a happy couple, and no one will know how much solitude, bitterness, and resignation lies beneath the surface happiness.

Until one day, when my husband takes a lover for the first time, and I will perhaps kick up a fuss or think again killing myself. By then, though, I’ll be too old and cowardly, with two or three children who need my help, and I’ll have to bring them up and help them find a place in the world before I can just abandon everything. I won’t commit suicide; I’ll make a scene. I’ll threaten to leave and take the children with me. Like all men, my husband will back down, he’ll tell me he loves me and that it won’t happen again. It won’t even occur to him that, if I really did decide to leave, my only option would be to go back to my parent’s house and stay there fir the rest of my life, forced to listen to my mother going on and on all day about how I lost my one opportunity for being happy, that he was a good husband despite his peccadilloes, that my children will be traumatized by the separation.

Two or three years later, another woman will appear in his life. I’ll find out but this time I’ll pretend I don’t know. I used up all my energy fighting against that other lover; I’ve no energy left; it’s best to accept life as it really is and not as I imagined it to be. My mother was right.

He will continue being a considerate husband; I will continue working at the library, eating my sandwiches in the square opposite the theater, reading books I never quite manage to finish, watching television programs that are the same as they were ten years ago. Except that I’ll eat my sandwiches with a sense of guilt because I’m getting fatter; and I won’t go to bars anymore because I have a husband expecting me to come home and look after children.

After that it’s matter of waiting for children to grow up and of spending all day thinking about suicide, without the courage to do anything about it. One fine day I’ll reach the conclusion that that’s what life is like: there’s no point worrying about it,nothing will change. And I’ll accept it.”

Ok first of al, I'm a MAN!!!!!! get it!! I just red this book, Veronika decides to die, and I thought it was interesting and not far from reality, and i wanted to know what people think about it

Answer 1

I don't accept the idea that an unmarried woman would actually say all of this while envisioning her future. This was written by someone looking back at her life, someone who would have let life happen to her. This would be a sad person, comfortable with her role as victim, and too lazy, cowardly, or uninspired to take control of her own experience.

I think it has value as a cautionary tale, hopefully helping people look at themselves and their choices with a wider scope. Hopefully, it would inspire others to drive their own life, to make wiser choices, and to realize that one simply can't live their life for anyone else or they've just wasted their turn.

As a side issue, parents have a moral obligation to lead by demonstration when it comes to teaching children how to live life, how to be proper grown-ups and how to have people of value in their lives. Living through a divorce is preferable to growing up thinking that this disgrace of a marriage is all that can be expected.

Interesting question, thank you.

Answer 2

It's a choice to be resigned to such a fate. We make choices as to the quality of our lives. Even if such a woman is in this predicament, she could choose to get involved in something else that she could be passionate about.

She chooses not to cross the street to the theater, let alone consider volunteering to build the sets, working the ticket booth, or even being a member of the chorus.

She chooses to watch the same television, reading books instead of writing them, getting fatter instead of going for a bicycle ride.

When the children are grown, will she not be proud of their independance, and the positive influence she's had? Can't she again put her free time to even better use, since her child-raising responsibilities are done, save for an occasional day with the grandchildren.

This is not a tragic tale of some 24 year old getting killed in a car accident. This is someone who choose every day, 10,000 days in a row, to do a little less.

Answer 3

Judging from the quote you've stated above, you're a woman right? That's really what things are. Women are meant to be cheated when man and woman marries. But you, as a woman, should not accept the fact that you've been cheated all the time. You'd live miserable for the rest of your life thinking that there could something you might have done to stop your husband's doings. That was truly a hard situation thinking that you already had children. It's true, there's nothing you can do... If you'd like to file a divorce, or perhaps go to the court and file for adultery, there's no point, because your children would soon be affected by the situation. It's just that, IN THE FIRST PLACE, IT"S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! We've been given the chance to choose who's the man/woman we'd marry. You should have tried to take all the possible ways to insure yourself that you'd marry someone whom you knew that would be faithful to you for the rest of your life. And of course, you have to make sure that person truly LOVES you and it all depends to you on how you may be able to know these. Remember, regret doesn't come first...

Answer 4

Wow. Sounds like a typical story of a wife, a mother, a woman who loses herself to self pity .
This reminds me of lots of relationships out there where many of the men and women with children will go elsewhere to find happiness, instead of sticking it out like they do in the olden days.
People nowadays often find that they will only be happy after their 2nd or 3rd try, though they do often have baggage to contribute.

Is it not horrible to marry for the first time, always in good faith that you and your mate will live happily ever after?... only to fear that it might never work the first time around?

Because they say you don't know Good until you know Bad.

Answer 5

I'm still reading...............seriously though I know where your coming from I have the same situation with my friends. I want more excitement and they are not down with that they are boring and getting boringer by the day. You dont have to settle for a life of mediocrity. try doing new things together if this fails you gotta leave him cuz hes just as bored as you are and he will find someone else anyway. "Life is what you make it"

Answer 6

the sounds like the life of many many women in this world
I know women who are going thru this right now

I think the woman in the story knows the answer to her problem.
She needs COURAGE.....in order to face life you need to grow balls (pun intended)

another problem is that people kinda just try to live normal lives and not EXTRAordinary lives.

Gotta aim HIGH

Answer 7

Well it pretty much sucks...... whoever that is about is a complete loser with no self esteem!! or pride for that matter!! I hope this is a quote from a book and not a person you know in real life.

Answer 8

How sad! It makes me want to cry! I know that life is like that more often than it should be, but I don't want to think about it. It does make me want to be sure to pick the right man. It also makes me want to make sure life stays intresting for me, but that's what I always planned on doing.

Answer 9

that is the reality of life. a stage of which each of us would go thru in life. the reality that it happens makes it a sad tale... but hey, it's the experience that matters. how strong and how weak one can be... a matter of make or break... that's where the challenge of life's survival lies.

Answer 10

Sounds like a pretty normal marriage - an easy trap to fall into.