Can I tell a girl this without scaring her off...?

Question

I got hurt and had to have surgery in my lower abdomen. The surgery negatively affected the size of my winkie and as a result it's about an inch smiller and still getting a bit smaller. Another consequence is I can't lift heavy objects or stand up for more than 10 minutes. I have a normal productive life going. I've avoided telling girls I date all this info b/c I think they'd leave.

Answer 1

I wouldn't run away. You can't help the fact you had an injury...hernia, or whatever. A girl that is really serious about you and really cares about you will support you instead of run from you.

Answer 2

The difference between girls and guys is that, girls do not think about your winkie on the first few dates. The thought has never crossed their mind. If you are sweet, caring and lovable, you will get a very nice girl who will not care if you have no winkie at all. You need not provide all these information at it will scare all girls away. Especially when you made it sould like you are some sort of an alien.

Answer 3

Greensquares, I am referring to your question about having a relationship with someone who was sexually abused as a child.
Let me tell you this. She deserves every chance in life as a normal and healthy girl would have.
She will have problems. She may have post traumatic stress disorder, she may develop borderline personality disorder, but there is help for these things.
If you really care about her, you can find a way to make things work, like getting her into therapy if not already.
I am convinced, thru experience, that child trauma takes a huge toll on your body physical, and in your mental part of your body, the way you see things is different than someone who is healthy. Their self worth is gone. They feel like they deserved to be punished. They may push you away, or they may cling to you.
I am advocating for this girl, because I have Borderline Personality Disorder and OCD. I have been married five years, and diagnosed for two years now. I am 34. I have been living with these illnesses for years and years, in high school even.
Sexual abuse victims deserve a chance like everyone does. If you want her to respond to me, she can IM me on yahoo answers.
You also have to think about yourself, yes. Write down a pros and cons list. There is more to her than her pain, I am sure. Good luck to you...

Answer 4

Well, if you're going to get intimate, you're going to have to tell
her.

However, you can start out by saying that you were injured
and have this surgery, rather than I am smaller than I used to
be and can't lift things.

That is, put the cause before remorse.

Answer 5

No way! Don't tell her right away though. That is just too much information up front. (I once had a guy tell me that he wet the bed until 20 on our second date...that's fine, but I didn't need to know on our second date. It seems needy) Anyway, the right girl for you won't care. Just wait for the right moment to tell her. That's no big deal AT ALL!

Answer 6

I'm sorry but that would scare me off. Maybe seek a professional to help you out in the winkie area?

Answer 7

Start by saying you had surgery with some negative effects - judge the reaction and go from there.

Answer 8

What do you imagine you gain by not telling them? If you intend to have a serious relationship with a girl you first will have to find a girl who will accept the man you are then find the faith to trust her. Until then you're chasing tail wheather you want to or not.

Answer 9

The size of your winkie, does not make you the person you are.
If the girl cannot accept you for who you are, Then that would make her a pretty shallow person, that DOES NOT deserve your time or attention!!!!

Answer 10

I don't think you should tell anyone this story when you first meet them. Maybe you should let a girl know what the situation is once you get to know her better and are ready for that level of intimacy.