My husband and I of 7 yrs just got back together after 5 months seperation. How do we make a better marriage?

Answer 1

I sincerely hope that before you decided to get back together, you fully resolved the issues that forced you apart. It's a big step towards working at a new beginning. I've read alot of the other answers and although alot of them said to let go of the past, you really shouldn't. You need to remember what went bad last time and learn from it, then apply it to your new start. If you don't learn from those mistakes, you are going to repeat them. The other tool you are going to need is an open line of communication...with everything and anything. I'm not just talking about the serious stuff, the funny stuff too. Humor is also another great tool. It's okay to laugh at yourselves once in awhile, to chuckle when it goes bad because you know deep down that it could be worse....and we all know it could. And the last bit of advice I have is to remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. Doing this puts you both in a better frame of mind and allows tolerance of each others not so charming traits. I've been married almost 18 yrs. We seperated years ago and got back together. I can't say it was easy, but looking back, the second time around was much better than the first. Good luck to you honey and I really hope it works out this time.

Answer 2

Let the negatives of the past in the past. Do not ask and do not tell what happened during those 5 months. instead of looking back look forward and set some goals that both of you can work toward both together and separate. Talk over decisions and compare ideas before committing resources. Never go to bed angry or feeling down. Let the pressures of day to day keep away from the sleeping time and the lovemaking time. Comfort each other when that seems right. There is never too much attention between two people.

Answer 3

Try this . . . remember EVERYTHING GOOD about him. Why did you love him in the first place. What was it about him that was so special that when you woke up the first thing you WANTED to see was him? That made you want it him on the other end of the phone when the phone rang, and not someone else? Why did you want work to be over so that you could get home to HIM. That everyday you looked at him you realized you LOVED HIM MORE!

However, time and busy lives SEPERATE US, and we FORGET something "small." What is it? TO APPRECIATE EACH OTHER! Its just that EASY! When you start forgetting and "taking each other for granted," then HE becomes no more than just another person. AND HE IS NOT!

So, instead of separation, you need to GO AWAY TOGETHER on another Honeymoon, send him flowers, call him and remind him you love him, leave love notes in his car! ROMANCE IS NOT DEAD, you've just "forgotten to be romantic!"

Take the habit back up, there's NO REASON at 70 years old, that you can't be treating your husband like a newlywed!

Answer 4

What was the reason u2 split??
Daily hugs.(look at eachother when holding eachother) Spend more than 5 minutes on the hug.
Help eachother with the chores. Have time away from the house both and seperatly
accept the other ones flaws and if they r something u cant accept, end it. For an example: (i couldnt accept my b/f's alcoholism) and i couldnt change it either.

Do NOT BLAME the other person... The only one u can change is YOU! So with that said try this--------
I was wrong for doing this , in the past but this is now I try and be from now on-------
but ask that they too do the same.. Before you start to say what you did wrong. Because if they're not willing , why bother? And councling would be needed at that point. If councling doesnt work, it needs to end..............................

Answer 5

well theres a lot of things he may have done while in this separation be prepared to meet up with a Chick who had him and don't get defensive and ask who's or vica versa - as u know this will separate u 2 again.. there a thing called the 7 yr itch they get tired of old same old sex dinners predictable state of things and for this reason someone needs to grow and let them grow and grow back with them changes.. do things on ur own don't be falling apart if hes not home when u want him to be or etc you need the both of u need to make sure u can be respectful and trust each other to have lives outside the marriage like outings with friends things hobbies etc not sex but outings no obsessive behavioral traits. I would highly suggest if not both then u alone fro help to see a counselor as things have changes it isnt as easy as make the cookies again the recipe now changed.. know both of u have what u will accept and not accept.. u asked better marriage this is it .. make a pact to make respect and communicate is very key to do just that no hiding feelings as it lays dormant then abuse adn arguing happen.. resentments etc both of u lay ur cards on the table this is what u expect and what he expects and what u do will do to compromise from the cleaning , laundry, money management and outings to the positions of bedtime all of it subject by subject what u both expect and will do for that.. be tactful and both of u shut up if u feel anger at a proposal, check mark that on paper to discuss then debate nicely .. if not get up walk out take a breather go back and try again till u 2 agree. as there is something u 2 did not agree on .. communicate...

Answer 6

Well, eventually you need to figure out why you separated to
begin with.

You will need to talk about it - maybe not RIGHT now, but
in a few weeks.

If one or both of you feels you were being used or taken for
granted, it needs to be said and the other person needs to
understand what actions or inactions caused those feelings.

The problem is, such conversations can EASILY turn into
pissing matches that do more harm than good. If you don't
think you can keep it in bounds, you might want to see a
couples therapist just to get it out in the open and healing.

Answer 7

in case you like her returned then be the guy she concept she married. What you're dealing with is regular and it relatively is area of the upward push technique. i do no longer how lots growing to be you're able to do in 5 days yet apparently lots. notice: in case you get returned jointly you comprehend there will be some variations. The time aside facilitates her to strengthen and alter additionally. courtroom her such as you probably did once you have been youthful. Use the errors and issues you will desire to lead your each and every circulate. communicate many times and hear much extra. teach her you savour her. tell her issues you like in a spouse and what you're prepared to be in a husband. do no longer try this while you at the instant are not trustworthy. She'll comprehend. She is time-honored with you extra advantageous than all people would at this component. while you're associates, then build on that fellowship and not in any respect take it with none attention returned. stable luck.

Answer 8

Boy, I don't know. I've been separated from mine for a month and half and am impressed after 5 months you guys are back together. If we get back together, I know what we need: total honesty, no drugs or alcohol, forgiveness for the past mistakes and wrongs, and a goal to work toward together, like a new house.

Answer 9

Honey, he just got tired of the other puss* and now wants you back or the other woman just put him out. Beleive me he will go back where he came crawling from. Don't be such a fool and let him lay on top of you while he is thinking about someone else. I will bet you he will be with someone else within a month. Stop letting him hurting you and fooling you like that. Stop being a mat the can rub his feet on everytime he want some sex.

Answer 10

I think the most important thing is letting go of the past and starting fresh. You will probably feel like holding past grudges against him (and he, against you) but if you really want to make it work you need to start with a clean slate, and put your 'all' into it. Communication is also really important. Don't let things build up... if you are having problems/doubts/etc. make sure to sit down and talk about it calmly.

Good luck :)