My husband treated me horribly for many years. We seperated for a while and when we did, I started seeing another man and developed very strong feelings for him. After a while my husband and I decieded to try again and since then he has been an absolute wonderful husband. But I still find myself thinking about the other man. I feel bad because I feel like I dont love my husband as I used to. What should I do?
2006-08-17 11:59:52 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Do you think you will be happy with your husband long term? What happens if he starts treating you badly again? Do you think you passed up on your true love?
2006-08-17 12:04:59 · answer #1 · answered by Kissingbythesea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to love two men one has something about him the other one doesn't and together they make one great guy...
You went back to your husband because it was the easy thing to do and the sure thing.. the what if's with the other man is what is getting to you.. wondering and when things fall apart with your marriage again.. you will be kicking your self..
After a while of staying away from the other guy.. you will get over him.
2006-08-17 12:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ibdreamin099 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am in the same situation. my husband neglected me for years. then i met someone else and fell in love with him. now i don't really know what to do. my husband is attentive and all the things i disliked about him are changed...and yet, i still don't feel anything. i feel guilty because i WANT to feel something, and yet, i don't.
i'm not with the other man anymore either. the situation was too distressing for everyone.
i think i'm just going to be on my own for a while and figure out who i am and what i need. maybe that's not bad advice for you either. i don't know...i'm not a good advice giver. i was just real happy to read your question and know that i'm not the only one out there in such a f-ed up situation.
2006-08-17 15:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I hate to say this but you made a commitment to your husband twice now to make things work. Once on your wedding day and then when you decided to try again. This other guy sounds great, but you can't be thinking of him. If you're going to leave your husband, you need to do it regardless of someone else.
Or you could just turn gay.
2006-08-17 12:09:06 · answer #4 · answered by Pearlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you are really in a predicament. i think that it is possible to love to men but i don't think that you can be in love with two different men. you have to choose witch one you feel for more. i know that will be extremely difficult but its a must! you owe it to your husband to sort out your feelings toward this other man.now say you decide to leave your husband to be with this other guy and he treats you better than you have ever been treated would you think it was worth it? it seems to me like you are having alot of "what ifs" in your mind. i think you should act on your feelings for this other guy and see how it all pans out or you will always wonder.
2006-08-17 12:14:24 · answer #5 · answered by bubbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok been there, done that... leave your hubby, because he is going to treat you badly because the novelty will wear off of you coming home... He will never change,and as an abused woman, I can say thta he will never change. men like that don't change, and if they do, then they don't do it for long. It is called the " honeymoon" phase and it soon will end. Did this other guy treat you well? Was he a good man? if so, i'd leave hubby and go to this other guy.
2006-08-17 12:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by Dragonflygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its very possible to love two people, you may love both for different reasons though. Like, for instance, you love your husband, but are you in love with him? If not, go with the other man.
2006-08-17 12:07:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard. I'm in you're same position. I've been with my BF for 4 yrs almost. Great relationship and every thing. But preivous to him I had my first real BF whom I lasted for 2 1/2 yrs. He was my 1st love and sexual experience. See my ex and went our separate ways because he moved out of state and I was too young to follow. But my ex lives close to one of my aunt's (about 11, 000 miles ) from where I live.
Last year I went for a 2 wk vacation to visit my aunt for the first time. I saw my ex and hooked up with him while I was over there. He asked me stay but I couldn't at the time. ( and I was already going out with my recent BF) So yes I cheated on my BF with my ex.
My ex didn't know I was in a relationship because I didn't want to hurt him. So it's been about 1 yr since this happened and I can't stop thinking about my ex. We've been talking recently and Im planning to go again ov vacation this Christmas. I've tried breaking up with my BF but he doesn't want to, but I can't tell him that I'm not sure of what I feel for him. Neither of them know that I have someone else. Icant picture myself without either of them since they have both been part of my life for a long
time. I know what you're feeling...............
2006-08-17 12:16:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. If you've been back together for a while, and you still have thoughts about the other guy, it may be that he lost you. Try to work it out, but if you still care for another guy, you should divorce. The damage cheating causes doesn't just blow over sometimes.
2006-08-17 12:23:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably miss the other guy because he was there for you when your mean hubby wasn't... you will always appreciate him for that... but you can't keep running back to your husband and using him in the mean time...
It sounds like he is the better deal... but only you can make the decision.
2006-08-17 12:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by rabble rouser 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋