I’m an 18-year-old male who has recently got together with my best friend of 3 years – she is 17. She’s smart, funny, beautiful and foremost, the most genuine person you could ever meet. I would literally do anything for her and would happily spend the rest of my life with her, too. Words can’t express how she makes me feel.
Right now, I have to put up with her being quite nasty and sarcastic sometimes, which is strange because it is not her at all – I’ve never seen it before. I know she can be quite stubborn, and I’ve often found it quite cute, but not to this extent. We could go out, have an amazing time and bid each other goodnight, both of us completely happy, and the next morning, she is being blunt for absolutely no reason.
I’m not looking to break-up with her and I know she wouldn’t break-up with me, but I want to know why she is being as she is. Do I stop texting her to avoid that bluntness? Do I stop asking her if she’s angry with me to avoid the confrontation?
2006-08-17
11:54:47
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25 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She has told me that she is finding the transition from friend to girlfriend "different", but she insists I have nothing worry about and that she's just adjusting. Thing is, just because she feels everything's OK, doesn't mean I do, and I don't think she'll ever understand due to her duty to be stubborn. If I try and talk to her about it, as much as we totally understand each other, she may just think I'm being picky...
2006-08-17
12:04:32 ·
update #1
I am her first real boyfriend and the first guy she has ever kissed. Do you think she's just adjusting to a new way of life?
I would just tell her all of this, but we’ve talked about it before and I feel like me asking her “are we OK?” one more time will send her over the edge. I used to be quite argumentative, but I’ve backed down since we’ve become a couple to see if it’d have an effect – it hasn’t really, now I just apologise for things that I really don’t think are my fault.
I doubt confronting her with it again would work, as I can tell she finds it a pain if I ask her again, “are you annoyed with me?” “Go with the flow” was what she said recently, and as much as I want too, I feel very strongly and I cannot just “go with the flow” if I’m getting the vibe that she’s off with me.
2006-08-17
12:08:21 ·
update #2
You might be calling or texting her too much. It can be a bit of a turn off when a guy is "jocking you".
If you guys just went out last night do you have to call her the next mornig? Back off a tad. Give her a chance to think about you. Girls like to dream, let her miss you. Let her wonder sometimes what you are doing. Make yourself busy and unavailable sometimes.
Dont ask her if shes angry. She probably doesnt realise shes being so nasty. sometimes you just cant help it when you need some space.
Good luck!
2006-08-17 12:10:28
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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First of all, congratulations on finding someone special for you. I know how you feel.
From the sound of it, she obviously loves you but perhaps she is having a hard time coming to terms with something that has recently happened? Another reason might be that she is covering her true feelings about something that you haven't picked up on and is waiting for you to bring it up in conversation.
If she has another good girl friend, I would advise asking her about it. If you stop texting her, it is bound to cause more trouble, she'll think you're ignoring her and don't want to talk to her (which obviously you don't).
I think you should just talk to her about it at an appropriate time. Don't make it sound like it's affecting you badly, you could just ask why it seems she's more upset recently. Be calm and honest about it and she won't be angry with you.
Apart from that, it could be "that time of the month" again in which case it should pass soon enough. A lot of what girls saying during PMT during a mood they don't actually mean. Definitely don't suggest this is the reason to her, though, especially if it is the reason! (I speak from recent experience...)
2006-08-17 19:41:31
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answer #2
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answered by james.greenwood 1
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I would suggest you need to have this conversation with her and ask her about these behaviors and they are bothering you. There could be any number of reasons why she is acting this way and the number one reason is that she feels very comfortable being herself with you - not a bad thing at all. Talk it out with her and I am sure you will have a better understanding. If she really likes you she will talk to you about it - just to expect to get it all your well - just tell her how you feel. She really wants to know how you feel.
2006-08-17 19:06:50
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Definately don't ask if she's angry w/you, my b/f asks me that all the time and it actually gets soooo annoying that yes, I do seem mad at him. Stop w/ THAT inparticular ? You guys were friends right? Maybe there was bluntness before you, you just didn't notice cause it wasn't you she was being that way with. I'm sure she needs a way to push her anger elsewhere, (are you her first b/f)?? maybe you never saw it cause she had another b/f to get it out on.
2006-08-17 19:03:03
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answer #4
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answered by Angel B 1
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Ask her if there is anything going on that she wants to talk about. Say it just seemed like something is bothering her and if she needs to talk about it you are there for her. Don't push the issue though, it could make things worse.
Also if it onlt in text messages it might just seem like she is being blunt b/c she doesn't want to type a lot. When typing things it's hard to express emotion andsometimes things come across wrong.
Good luck. :-)
2006-08-17 19:01:16
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answer #5
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answered by starlet_80 3
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You really should talk to her about it.... Dont just ask "are we ok?".... Ask her why she is in a bad mood or ask her if there is anything you can do to make her feel better (and no i dont mean that in a perverted sense) If you want a relationship to work you need communication and dont act like you dont want to be with her just because of this incident... She needs to know that youll still be there for her no matter what.
2006-08-17 20:36:24
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answer #6
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answered by once_an_angel87 2
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Well is she PMSing? I know I can be a crazy female when it's that time around. The sucky thing is even when you realize you're acting crazy because of hormones, you'll still act crazy. Sounds like there might be something stressing her out. Sounds like you are crazy about her, so I would reassure that if there is anything bothering her or causing her stress you're there for her to help her through it.
2006-08-17 19:02:41
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answer #7
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answered by spiffymo 4
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I've done the same thing to my boyfriend. And I really was doing it for no reason. There's something going on in her life that's making her like this, it's probably not you though. I've got a bad habit of trying to push away everyone that loves me, this includes my friends and my boyfriend. I tried pushing him away, the same thing she's doing to you was the same thing I do when I try to push them away. Luckily my boyfriend held me one night and we discussed ALL of it and I cried my eyes out and we're 10x's closer and I haven't done that to him since then. It's not your fault but it's probably not hers either. She just doesn't understand. Good Luck and whatever you do don't avoid her she needs you. e-mail me if you want to know more.
2006-08-17 19:14:35
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answer #8
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answered by Bast 5
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How about talking to her?
It sounds like there's a miscommunication here. You aren't happy with her mood swings, and she doesn't even know that you have noticed.
Why not be honest with her? Don't text her, don't call, go over to her house and talk to her face to face.
If she's angry with you, she will tell you. A fight doesn't mean you're going to break up.
Just communication and you'll be fine.
2006-08-17 19:04:58
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answer #9
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answered by FaZizzle 7
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You sound very immature and are not dealing with the "real" personality of hthis immature girl. One way you are saying she is "genuine"....then you say she is "nasty, sarcastic, stubborn"....what is this all about??? You are pushing a relationship that is doomed! You have to decide......do you want to be treated like this? She lacks respect for you.....shame, shame!
2006-08-17 19:09:10
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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