How do you being labeled a minority feel... .when gay people try and compare there issues to that of Blacks,?

Question

African-American, whatever you want to be called? I have many gay friends, however I still have issues when they compare there fight to that of African-Americans. I was born African-American... I can not change my skin color.... what ever anyone does behind closed doors is their business I am not going to get on the debate wagon whether they were born that way or not..... most of my friends in college started out straight and graduated GAY!

I know that gays are fighting for rights... such as the right to get married, however as I see it the gay fight still can't compare to that of African-Americans. Gays are not for example being hosed up and bitten by dogs by the police. Living in the bay area has allowed me to interact and see may gay people out and about holding hands, kissing... which I do not like that when straight folks do it! Gay people do have a fight on their hands, why compare it.... it is what is .... their fight!

Answer 1

I don't compare our movement to that of blacks, simply because the 60's were much more volatile for blacks then the 2000's are for gays. That being said I do find it ironic when SOME (obviously not all) blacks act in a homophobic way, being as they are oppressed in the past and really even today.

Answer 2

I am an African American male and I am also Homosexual. I am one of those who believe this is how god made me, I can only speak for myself and how it was coming out for me and let's just say the choice was not easy.

A lot of those who you say were str8 when they started college and graduated gay more then likely always were and just chose that particular time to come out. Trust me when I say no one in their right minds would choose to be in a group that is constantly riduculed, attacked and sometimes even killed. Had I a choice in the matter when I 1st started having these feelings trust me I would most def had chosen heterosexuality.

When you say "What everyone does behind closed doors is their own business" I agree with that to an extent, but I have to say this assuming you are heterosexual why should it be alright that you are able to sit in a restaurant over a romantic meal with your other half and share a loving peck on the lips and I can't? Why should it be alright for you to hold your other halfs hand while walking down the street and I can't? Why should you be able to walk down an isle in front of your friends & family in your place of worship and share vows of love an committment with your other half and I can't?

I respect everyone and how they live, I don't do anything in front of anyone that I would or wouldn't want them to do in front of me. Grant you I don't do the PDA thing (Public Display of Affection) cause I know what could happen and trust me neither myself or my partner are the homo's you see on TV or the stereotypical (who by the way are still men) we do fight back and well. We get up every morning, go to the gym, work, pay bills, get angry at each other and argue, make up I mean just a normal relationship nothing different except we are both men.

The comparison to the struggle my ancestors while somewhat different I can still see the comparison. I can't change my color nor my sexuality not that I would choose to at this stage of the game anyway. I can say this that my color is always right there and for the most part no one knows I am homosexual unless I tell them but I am no less ashamed of that as I am my ethnicity.

Prejudice is what it is, I can be killed in some parts of this world & country for being who I am as my ancesters were. I could lose my job and be denied housing if someone knows who I am as my ancestors were. I mean the list goes on and you can say "but you don't have to tell someone your homosexual they see your black" and this is true but why should who I am have to be a secret?

Answer 3

I don't think it compares to the fight for black rights in the sense that African Americans at first had to fight for their liberty, and then their rights to vote, own property, and occupy the same space and quality of life as anglo Americans. The homosexual community is still fighting for some of the same civil rights....rights that all american civilians should be given equally. Rights like not having to worry about being fired because of sexual orientation. Or proection from not being let into a certain school or club. Or not being able to marry or adopt. Oppression is still opression even if it's with a different group of people or for different reasons. I do agree that African Americans must have a had a much more difficult time starting from scratch with no rights but it doesnt take away from the fight for same sex rights.

Answer 4

I'll give you some credit for some of your view. I think that there is a comparison to be made between the African American fight for civil rights, and the Gay fight for civil rights. There are many parallels. However, you are right, that the degree to which gays and blacks are mistreated are very different.

However think about Matthew Shepherd, or the Drag Queens in the Stonewall Inn incident, and there has been irrational violence against gays. It's just not nearly as widespread as what has happened to African Americans over the years.

Answer 5

WWWWWOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA Wait a MINUTE! It is very much the same issue and we have had our fair share of Bull Sh*t through out history also is just not common you hear about it. We cant not change our sexulaity we can only try to hide ot or deny it, which some Lighter African Americans have done (immitation of Life). Some of us can't hide our gayness and our picked on from child hood. Molested as if that wuold change us or we deserve it because we are gay. We get disowned by our family and friends when they find out. We are constantly told God hates us and we are a mistake or sinners or abominations! We have been Tied to Fence posts and beaten to death, tortured and beat for hours and buried in the most unlikely of places. There are people that "start"out gay as you would say and "become" gay later. They start out straight because they are in fear of any of the following things hapening to them. SO dont be so fast to not see our causes our the same. I will tell you whats really messed up now that Blacks and Women have their rights or enough of them, they all of a sudden find ways to be oppressors to others in and outside of their community. Wasnt to long agao Blacks were fighting for rights to Love those of the oppisite race, or to be recognized for more than and Ex Cannible Savage African or a Slave. It wasnt to long ago when Women were fighting for the right to be acknowledged as Smart individuals who werent cut out mentaly and physically to be just HOuse wives and child raisers. Gays have been struggling this whole time and now throw some color on some of us. I was born gay but I am also Black and Latino! So I got a bunch of ish working against me. It is very mush the same issues we are fighting for...Live and Let Live!

Answer 6

I don't think people are using the compaired part in the same context. Some attributes such as if you are out and not closeted shut the door on you. To say that black people don't have this happen to them would be lying. To say out gay people who are looked at differently would be lying. I think in the sense we are both treated different that the average white straight guy would be true. As far as the start out straight and end up gay. Well I think they were gay a lot longer. I didn't take gay classes in college but i sure did act on it there.

Answer 7

My dear -- your friends did not start out straight and graduate gay. They started out closeted and graduated out. A very different statement.

I question that you have had indepth conversations with these friends while keeping an open mind. If you dont' feel comfortable doing that, I suggest reading, JUST READING NOT ANSWERING, the questions posted by some of the tortured young gay people on here -- kids who have driven away lovers to hide from their parents, kids who have and do hate themselves, kids who have internalized the homophobia of their churches -- sometimes even kids that want to die because they know they are gay BUT NO ONE ELSE DOES. Think back to your friends -- its them, when you met them you know.

Yes, gays can HIDE -- but gays cannot change. How exactly is that different? Do you think HIDING and HATING YOURSELF is appropriate? Do you think it didn't happen in the African American community? Oh, not the hiding part, you are right, one can't -- but the self-hating part? It did, we have a fair number of African American friends -- all straight let me note -- you should talk to them sometime.

Perspective, perspective.

Regards,

Reynolds
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 8

You live in the Bay Area, the country is not like that. While we could go on forever about nature vs nurture I don't think that is really the point.

African Americans struggled for equality. We are struggling for equality. That was have in common. We are also both discriminated against. If you haven't seen it yet try being gay in Alabama or the Bible Belt.

We have largely supported and championed rights for minority groups in general. We do not recieve the support back. Why?

Answer 9

obviously Lady D you are very young and have no ground to stand on except you are black. The history of gay people go way back when and gays were also burned alive and hung.... The only comparison is that of which someone is fighting for equal rights and that's why so many African-American and gays usually can relate. Its call compasson. Your right it's our fight and we will fight it, but if you think african- americans were the only one fighting for your rights, your mistaken. there were other races fighting for your rights as well. You need to go back through your history as well. People didn't just f u ck it it there fight....

I have tons of people I talk to and maybe if you had a better understanding of gay histry you wouldnt feel this way. When I go and have dinner or hang out with my African-American friend and s h i t goes down or I see them mis treated or disrespected. I dont just walk away and say "oh that there fight"... I have compassion.... and handle...

Answer 10

I half agree with you and half don't-agree with you.

On one hand, yes, you're right. It's their fight and it's different in many ways.

On the other hand, you can't deny that you share a lot. You both went through/are going through a struggle, you've both been discriminated against, you've both been denied rights. It's iportant for people to make connections with each other. It's true that we are all different, but it's also true that we're very much the same in many ways. These connections make us stronger. Rather than get angry at them, try to make the connection. It'll make both people stronger.

As for being born...as whatever you are...I don't know. I really can't say much on the matter. I'm not gay as far as I know, so I can't really say whether it's something you're born as or not. Even if people can become gay, it doesn't matter. They still are gay and people are still treating them unfairly. It's not always about how you get there. The situation at hand is what's most important.

the point is that these fights are not about who's in a worse predicament: it's about people that are being treated unfairly and gaining rights for these people. If you get annoyed with them, that's just another fight, and we don't need that.

Some people are saying that the gays don't have it as bad as the blacks did, but does it really matter who has it worse? This isn't a competition to see who's got it worse. People are people and prejudice is prejudice.