married twenty years and nothing between us .
2006-08-17 11:44:49 · 24 answers · asked by lynn y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Same situation. And also married 20 years, are you my wife????
Just kidding. Some people just grow apart, develop different interests, want different things. Hope things work out for you.
2006-08-17 11:49:37 · answer #1 · answered by covet_you2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We've all heard that old expression, you can be lonely and have somebody in the same bed as you.It is absolutely possible to be married and lonely. Being married isn't just a title, it's about sharing your life with someone you love and care about. If the two of you are not communicating with each other, you must be very lonely.Sounds like you both need to have a heart to heart talk, and put some real effort into trying to make your relationship healthy again, or move on and find someone who can give you the attention and love that you are lonely for.
2006-08-17 11:53:03 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are currently trying to work our way out of that same problem....
You have been married for 20 years, and it was probably very exciting in the beginning. The sex was great, and you could talk for hours on end about anything. Then slowly, without you even realizing it, you spend more time watching TV than you do each other. Conversations are reduced to "How was you day?" and "Wanna turn on a movie?" Basically, you sleep in the same bed with someone who has turned into a great roommate.
Okay, so your stuck in a rut. So here's the real question.... Are you still best friends? If the answer is yes, then you have to work at it. TALK!!! There is nothing wrong with feeling comfortable, but you have to shake it up! Talk it out over time, don't slam it all into one night our your head will start to spin....
These problems were created over many years, you can't fix it overnight.
2006-08-17 12:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by takinflt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll tell ya this is ben h wife and 20 yrs is a long time. A LOT has come between you both. Take it one day at a time. Figure what YOU WANT! Try not to be so lonely and do some work on his ****, make him as happy as he can be and he will not stray. If he does,than you will never stop him in the first place.
2006-08-17 12:09:57 · answer #4 · answered by Ben h and Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either married the wrong person, or you both grew apart. If you grew apart, then it's a communication problem that started years ago and grew a rift between you. So, to solve the problem, you have to fix all rifts between you which will bring you back together emotionally and physically. If you've always had bad communication, you then married the wrong person, but since you were excited enough to marry him, then you must still love each other, but you lost something. Find it and fix it. It will be difficult, but if your both dedicated, and deeply love each other, you will.
2006-08-17 11:52:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to make something between you again.
Do you follow the rules for a happy marriage???
RULES FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
1) Never be angry at the same time.
2) Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3) If one of you has to win an argument let it be the other one.
4) If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
5) Never bring up mistakes of the past.
6) Neglect the whole world rather than one another.
7) Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.*
8) At least, once everyday, try to say one kind complimentary
thing to your partner.
9) When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it
and ask for forgiveness.
.
2006-08-17 11:53:13 · answer #6 · answered by mama_bears_den 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hope i don't offend, but 2 of the greatest hoaxes in the world, religion and marriage. how many other mammals stay together for life? only something like 3 or 4 and i think those are mostly birds. talk to your spouse about having an open marriage(with rules)or get a divorce. if there's nothing between you it'd be like loosing a roommate....good luck
2006-08-17 11:57:54 · answer #7 · answered by The Key Master 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 years is a long time. Find some interests out there and you'll find life isn't nearly as lonely as you think. You can't expect your relationship to be as it was way back when...things change and evolve. You can spice it up again by seeking new interests and then you'll be excited about something and you'll have more to talk about. Hard when it's just chat about the kids etc.
2006-08-17 11:50:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not simple - its not a binary thing (either you are
married or you aren't).
The more you put into it, the more you get out of it.
The more the other person puts into it, the more you get out of it.
It isn't even vaguely fair.
Why are you still married? Could you do better elsewhere?
Do you have the energy to try?
There are some who stay married to death, pretty much
out of boredom and fear of the unknown.
You may be able to fix it, but you have to want to. You can
see therapists, you can shake your life up a bit.
Is it worth it?
2006-08-17 11:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by Elana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have only been married for 7 years but I am very lonely. Tell your spouse that you need some more attention.
2006-08-17 12:12:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋