does having kids mean you kiss good- buy the chance of meeting a good man?

Question

i have more than one child i'm married, but not happy.
does that mean my choises are settling for a looser

Answer 1

nope... lots of great guys aren't put off by kids...

Answer 2

Now I know you're not considering staying where you're not happy because of fear you'll be single forever!! LOL #1, no, it doesn't mean that you have to settle for a loser. I remarried after almost 10yrs divorced, and I have children. BUT!! Before you leave make absolutely certain that you have done everything, I mean EVERYTHING within your power and with God's to make it work. Get help, therapy, counseling, 2nd honeymoon or whatever, because it has a damning impact on the kids, even when you are in the right!! (I had no choice when I was replaced by a younger version of me!) Think about what "happy" really means to you. Are you getting the crap beat out of you? Does he verbally abuse you and put you down all the time? Does your spouse drink, do drugs, gamble or commit crimes? Is he a good father? If by "happy" you mean being with someone who has more money, is cuter, doesn't pass gass or hog up the bed sheets, then I say to you, grow up!!! Being a good mommy takes alooooot of sacrifice and you can never be quite sure that you won't get someone else with a new set of problems.

Answer 3

Good-bye?

There is life after divorce, but why are you not happy? Perhaps therapy is a better answer than divorce. Perhaps your husband is settling for a loser?

Life is full of choices. Remember if you choose to end your marriage, you also make choices for your children to have a very different life style and speaking from experience, it isn't necessarily better.

Why not seek the help of a psychologist, a pastor, or perhaps even a marriage counselor. You might even benefit from drug therapy - like an anti-depressant.

I realized I never answered your question. I've been divorced for coming up on seven years. My ex-wife was unfaithful, and though I forgave her the first time I became aware of her adventures, and looked the other way in what I suspected were successive adventures, I finally divorced her when it became too much for me.

I'm a professional, I'm very attractive, have a great sense of humor and am extremely humble to boot! I've had several long term relationships. I don't involve myself with women with children, but not for the reason you might think.

I have always grown fond of the children of my lovers. When a love affair ends, it hurts more to let go of her children, than it does the woman. I've learned. The last time was very painful. I still keep a photo I have of a daughter (she was three at the time). I grew rather attached to the little girls over a couple years. I won't do that to myself again. My current companion has no children, but wants them. I don't want anymore children (I have two, 18 and 11).

I'm sure there are possibilities for blended families out there, just don't count on it!

Answer 4

Talk to your husband and at least try to work things out.If you can't get rid of the looser. Then go out and find yourself a good man. Life is to short to settle for a looser. Find a man that treats you the way you want to be treated. Make sure that he understands that he needs to be a father to your children as well as your friend, lover, and husband.Hopefully in that order. Enjoy your life tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

Answer 5

Aren't you skipping a few steps like getting divorced first, getting your own place, being single with children and figuring out where your head is at? Its always so nice to see questions from women who married a guy and have his children but think that somehow they are now losers and are thinking about other guys. Just so you know the good ones are taken. I doubt any woman who has such a poor opinion of her husband yet remains married to him is seen as anything but a dried up old shrew. Perhaps you should spend a little time helping this partner out so he is less of loser. That is what spouses are supposed to do.

Answer 6

Actually your chances of meeting a good man might actually increase. For some reason, many jerks are put off by what they'd call "baggage." Having kids can help filter out those losers and present you with a higher % of good men!

Though, work on your marriage first. After all, you both got married for a reason and it is marriage, not going steady.

Answer 7

I had 2 kids and lots of baggage before I met the man of my dreams now we have 3 kids together and we have been happily married for over 5 years-

Answer 8

no your choices will be whatever you want from life , there are plenty of men who are absolutely decent in this world.

you are obviously in the wrong place in your life for you to see the only guy you will get is a looser , if you don't want to attract a looser, than (and I'm not being mean)don't be a looser.
good luck

Answer 9

Is being with a man more important than parenthood? I mean, if you think you have to be "with" someone, is that more important than raising your kids in a stable environment.

I always assumed that if I were ever single now that I have kids, I would focus on them and if a man happened into my life that was sane and good to be with, then I would take it from there. It's not necessary that these available men are "losers." You don't have to have one at all, let alone a "bad" one.

Answer 10

No not at all. There are a lot of good men that would love those children like his own. I had a 6 yr. old daughter when me and my husband met and he had two children ages 6 and 4. Now we have a son together, but he loves my daughter like she was his. And he does more for her than her real father does.

Answer 11

Attend Parents Without Partners groups. Everyone there has children and are looking for a mate. You could end up with a Brady family.